tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-163023022024-03-07T10:02:43.631-06:00Does anybody read these?My little corner of the world where I ramble about life and a whole lotta nothing. When I started I wondered if folks read this stuff, and it turns out they do. I think that's pretty freaking cool...Grab a beer, pull up a chair and take a peek into my world.Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10807072237172210759noreply@blogger.comBlogger1424125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16302302.post-75006216113785439672016-07-21T21:16:00.003-05:002016-07-21T21:16:51.302-05:00Updates of sortsI feel like I should write something, but I'm a little more guarded than usual lately. I'm still job searching, and sometimes that means a little self-censoring is required. You don't want to offend anyone or say something that makes them believe you can't do whatever it is you would like them to hire you to do. I hate that it's like that, but I get it. It's hard to be tight-lipped when you've literally spent 30-some years of your life writing whenever the spirit hits you. I don't just write as a job; writing to me is a way to stay sane, to convey my thoughts. As I go from conference room to conference room attempting to make a good impression on a person who literally can change my entire future, I've realized two things: 1) I'm a much better written communicator than a talker, and 2) I think I became a journalist because I'm a better interviewer than interviewee.<br />
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So, I keep trucking along and hoping that the right position comes along. In the meantime, I've been cooking up a storm (remind me to tell you about my new Instant Pot). I'm going to Florida next week (and taking the Amtrak -- I'm so excited). I'm getting ready to take my advanced certification exam for Adobe InDesign. I studied and took practice tests all day today. I'm fighting with my TV with all the political excitement.<br />
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But I miss having colleagues. I had to put a whole bunch of muffins in the freezer because I couldn't eat them all myself. There's a little herd stress on the homefront with everyone home at the same time so much.<br />
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It's hard not to get down about yourself. Remember how I quit with the online dating because it's so easy to get down on yourself when people you barely know treat you badly and rush to judgment about you? Well, trying to find a job is a lot like that. Except when a date goes horribly wrong, you may just end up paying for your own meal. Right now, meals are the least of my worries. I have a mortgage and a light bill and a car payment that have to be paid. It's frustrating.<br />
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I know I just haven't found the right fit yet. There really haven't been many jobs that I was absolutely devastated to not get. There have been a few times that I wished that I had gotten an interview for a job that sounded great but they didn't even consider me. There have been places that sounded fun to work or people I would've enjoyed being on a team with. But I get it, there's just someone out there they like better. But at some point, something's got to give. Because it's been a long time and I'm running out of money, and it gets scary. And it's hard to not take it personally. People usually like me. It's hard to be the person that people don't like when you're used to people liking you.<br />
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I'm not going to be negative though. I'm just not a negative person. I like to see the bright side in things. And someone, somewhere is going to see that I am a seriously talented hard worker who will probably make you zucchini chocolate chip muffins because it's summer, and that's when you make you tasty things with zucchini.<br />
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I figured I'd post an update. Really no news is no news these days. You'd think I have more time to post things, but I have a pantry (and just about every other nook and cranny in my house) to clean.<br />
<br />Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10807072237172210759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16302302.post-86334989568314598202016-06-24T00:04:00.001-05:002016-06-24T00:09:34.593-05:00Truth in LendingI knew the minute that I picked up my piggy bank that I had a problem. Here I was, 449 miles from home, and the money I had in my piggy bank -- the money I had painstakingly kept track of for months -- seemed to have dissipated in the three weeks since I forgot to bring it on my previous trip to Ohio. Once a year, I take the contents of my piggy bank, which is literally every single penny that I have saved over the year, to the credit union for the alma mater and deposit it into my bank account.<br />
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But this year, with me being unemployed, the money was not to pad my bank account or buy my drinks during my annual girls' weekend with my college coworkers. This year, the money was my gas money for a trip I hadn't planned to make -- the trip to bury my dearest cousin who was killed in a horrific car accident last week.<br />
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So, here I am at the credit union looking at my change. The bank was about half as full as I remembered three weeks ago. Just last week, I'd put in more than six dollars in quarters from cleaning out my purse, and it was clear that there was no way all of those quarters were still there. The quarters that I needed to make the seven-hour journey from Ohio to Tennessee.<br />
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I knew exactly how much was supposed to be in my piggy bank. First of all, I had counted it in May when I was supposed to bring it and forgot it. That day it was 46 dollars and some change. As I'd mentioned, I'd added almost eight dollars last week.<br />
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The bank told me they would count the money and let me know how much they deposited. I spent the next four hours in the car hoping that they would somehow tell me there was 54 dollars, but I knew they wouldn't. Since my father gave me his loose change jar for my high school graduation, I've obsessively kept track of my loose change, and I have the uncanny ability to eyeball a pile of coins and tell you how much is there. So when I told a friend, "There's no way there's 30 dollars in that change," I knew I'd be right.<br />
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Yet I hoped and prayed that I'd be wrong, because being right meant a lot more than not knowing how I was going to get the gas money to get home.<br />
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Twenty-two dollars. Thirty-four cents.<br />
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By the time the credit union called me with my final total, I was pretty angry, but when I get off the phone I was seething. I'm still seething. I have never, ever been this angry. Truth be told, I've never even been close to being this angry, and some pretty shitty stuff has happened to me in my 40 years on earth.<br />
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But, I'm trying to figure out what could be shittier than someone you think is a friend, going into your private room, in a home you own, and raiding your piggy bank. Not just raiding it, but in three weeks taking more than half of its contents. A contents that you had been saving for almost a year. Money that you needed to travel to your cousin's funeral. It's pretty high up on the despicable scale, if that's an actual scale that exists.<br />
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It was thirty-three dollars. Pennies, dimes, quarters and half-dollars. But it represents so much more. It represents someone whom I trusted to be in my home not only taking advantage of me, but violating me and making me feel unsafe. For just thirty-three dollars, my friendship was pissed on and damaged beyond repair. There is literally nothing that can be done to fix this that does not involve a U-haul trailer and changing the locks. Nothing.<br />
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I think the worst part is that even though I have no job and money is tight, I would probably have lent it if I were asked. There was no reason to steal from me except to be shitty. I am the absolute sweetest person in the world until you give me a reason a not to be. And once I am done with someone, I am done with them. And, for those of you who have followed my blog for some time, you know that if I don't trust someone then there is no place for them in my life. So, that's where we are.<br />
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I've made up my mind. It's hard to face the added living expenses, especially since I still don't have a job, but I can't have someone in my house I don't trust. I will not be disrespected, and I will not worry about someone taking my belongings in my own house. Will not.<br />
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It sucks to be treated poorly. I am trying not to be too hard on myself for obviously creating an environment where someone thought this was OK. I am trying not to be angry that I didn't get my $46 to the bank a few weeks ago. But I have absolutely no negative feelings about the decision at hand. I'm just done. DONE. Once I am to the point where I don't want to see someone's face or hear their voice, the options are limited, and that's where we are.<br />
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At least, while I'm in this place of anger I'm getting words out and making sentences and pretending to be some type of writer. I must need more angst for the words to flow. You would think someone with no job would have more angst. Well, I guess we're about to see with more household expenses.<br />
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I just can't imagine throwing a friendship away for thirty-three dollars. Of course, I suspect it's because there really was no friendship in the first place. Or it was a jacked-up version of friendship that I don't subscribe to. But, as I pointed out yesterday, Judas sold out Jesus for a handful of change, so maybe I'm in good company.<br />
<br />Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10807072237172210759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16302302.post-84467737278520370652016-04-19T11:43:00.001-05:002016-04-19T11:50:34.582-05:00Blue Apron, Day 5: DisasterThe first week of Blue Apron went so well. Everything stayed fresh, even towards the tail end of the week. I enjoyed all of the meals. If there were hiccups, they were small.<br />
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I think for week two, I let my guard down. I'm actually a bit frightened by the prospect of week three at this point. The first meal was a bit sketchy but what did turn out OK tasted pretty good. And then there was the second meal.<br />
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I'm not sure why I decided to cook the chicken before the catfish, but I should not have done that. The week before they had sent me instructions to cook fish first because it might not hold up, but the salmon was fine, so I thought the catfish would be. And it was, but the bread for the sandwiches was completely moldy. I just turned it into catfish fillets with a salad, but it left quite a bit to be desired. I contacted Blue Apron, and they told me I was supposed to refrigerate the bread. Thanks for the heads up before it was covered in purple polka dots.<br />
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So, after tossing the moldy bread I tried to cook up the catfish according to the directions. This meal had the least amount of prep time of any Blue Apron meal so far, but it was also a disaster. First, the bread was moldy. Then the catfish breading stuck to the pan so it was just a greasy, barely-breaded fillet. The salad didn't taste horrible, but it was just lettuce and radishes. I liked the dressing I made (mayo, spice blend and lime juice) but I had to put a little of my own mayo in there. The packet that came with it didn't look anything like three tablespoons.<br />
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I am sure if the bread had not been moldy that it would've turned out much better. And I've learned my lesson. Next week's delivery comes tomorrow, and I'm going to do the entree with bread -- Korean Bao Sliders -- the first night, and the one with fish -- Seared Salmon and Green Potato Salad -- the second night. This was the week I meant to skip because I'm planning to be out of town for a few days, so I will have to be creative on when I get things cooked. But I'll definitely have to eat the meals for lunch and dinner, so that will help. The chicken with couscous will last for a minute. I'll stick the chicken in the freezer to be on the safe side.<br />
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I'm not planning to review all of those meals, but I'll give an update of the whole week once I complete it or if something so spectacular happens that I have to share it just then. After that week, which I had meant to postpone, then I will be taking a break for a while. I just can't justify the expense when I'm jobless. After all, I am about to eat pork chops and mashed potatoes because I need to cook it before it goes bad. That's kind of random lunch food, although not as random as the egg-salad sandwich I had for breakfast to off-set it.<br />
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No photos tonight. No one wants to see that.Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10807072237172210759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16302302.post-29857011658501294982016-04-15T09:00:00.000-05:002016-04-14T21:13:26.671-05:00ImprovementsAside from taking way too many pictures of my food and getting in lots of kitchen therapy, my life has not been the happiest time lately. However, by the time you read this I will be sitting in day two of an extremely awesome graphic design class, and I have several more days of training that will make me more competitive in job market. And it's being paid for by a scholarship. I've got a few job leads in the hopper and some more offers of freelance work. While life doesn't look like I thought it would, it doesn't completely suck.<br />
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I was thinking about this training. I never would've had the opportunity to take this training if I hadn't lost my job and received a state-assigned career counselor. And this training is what's getting me more freelance work. So, things are looking up. I know when you are sitting in the bottom of a pit, crying and hoping someone will hear you, that it's hard to imagine that this is better. I know this because this has been my life for the past few months. There have been jobs that I've wanted that I didn't get, and sometimes I took that personally (especially the jobs that I knew I could really rock), but for whatever reason that's not where I'm supposed to be.<br />
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Life is still not rosy. But I'm getting out of the house and I am staying busy. In addition to the design training, I am finally signed up for those comedy writing and performing classes that I keep meaning to take. I have a few events coming up to sell my jewelry. I have a friend from college having her first child in June. I have two friends from college finally getting married after 17 years. I am turning 40 at our annual alumni weekend. I am going to Detroit for a Tigers' game weekend. If I'm still not working in June, I may go on family vacation with my brother's family once the kids get done with school. So while it absolutely sucks to not be working, I have a lot of things on my calendar that might not get to happen if I had a full-time gig.<br />
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I have a little money in the bank (although I'm not excited at the prospect of blowing through it). I have projects to keep me busy and keep my creative juices flowing, and I'm looking for more opportunities there. I actually have plenty to keep me busy. I have health insurance through ObamaCare. I would love to have a great job, and I feel like I am going to find something that will challenge me and utilize my skills and allow me to be in a great collegial and collaborative environment. I am not in a place where I feel desperate to just take whatever at this point, so I feel like something great is coming. If not, well, then I'll figure it out when I get there.<br />
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So, life doesn't completely suck. In fact, it could be a lot worse. Yes, I miss having coworkers and going to an office everyday and doing great work, and I'm still a little sad at how that ended. No one wants to feel written off, like they never mattered. No one. I don't care what they say. I miss my grandma. My mood's improving, but I still haven't gotten to the gym. I'm still working too much at Babies R Us. I'm still frustrated with other things.<br />
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But I got out of bed, put on clean clothes and killed it in my class today. That's so much progress.Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10807072237172210759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16302302.post-52138356790117416762016-04-15T08:02:00.001-05:002016-04-15T08:02:33.909-05:00Let's get physical!Let's start with a random fact about me. When I was in kindergarten, "Physical" by Olivia Newton John was my favorite song. I had no idea what it meant, obviously, but I thought it had something to do with fitness because the video looked like a Jane Fonda tape...Kind of.<div>
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<div>
Now, let's fast forward -- ahem -- 30-some years to today. I was walking into my training class with my little lunch pail and notebook (like I was in grade school, if we want to continue our flashback). The office plaza where the learning center is happens to be beautiful. It has a pond with a fountain with a little patio area and picnic tables nearby. Offices have lots of windows to see the view. Lots of glass windows. Windows that act like mirrors in the early morning sun.</div>
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Do you see where I'm going with this?</div>
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So I happen to glance over into a wall full of windows and see my reflection. I'm short and dumpy and way too fat. It was a very unflattering look. I was not excited to see it.</div>
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Now, before you say that we are our own worst critics, bear with me here. This is not necessarily a bad thing. And not in an unhealthy way. </div>
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I'll explain.</div>
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I keep wondering if my appearance is causing me to not get jobs. It shouldn't because I am pretty qualified. But it might. Maybe I don't have the look they expect for someone in my field, even when the person hiring me looks like a hot mess. Seriously, I've gone into a few interviews, looked at the person responsible for making the decision and thought: Surely this person won't rule me out for my looks. Surely. But yet, I'm wrong. </div>
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I'm not getting into any fat-shaming, self-hating conversation here. I've worked way too hard to build my self-esteem for that. But I'm also a realist. And it's not like I don't want to improve anyhow. After all, this is Project Old Lady Learns Stuff. So maybe old lady needs to learn how to get to the gym and work out again.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I have to go. Following a relatively set out food plan is not seeing any results without it. (I'm still not buying that 80 percent nutrition, 20 percent fitness equation so many people tout as reality.) I need to do a half marathon anyhow. I want to go do another Disney race. I'd like to do the Detroit half-marathon again. So, it's time. </div>
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Just thought I would share this. Maybe words on a page will make me more accountable. Worst case scenario, I've got a few months of unemployment and I have plenty to keep me busy. Or I can just take a job while I work on having the look that my career wants me to have. </div>
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Who knows? Maybe it did help me to have someone fat-shaming me at every turn.</div>
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Just kidding. That shit got old, and it totally made me stress eat. </div>
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See you at the gym. </div>
Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10807072237172210759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16302302.post-40718183544817992292016-04-14T20:33:00.003-05:002016-04-19T11:48:35.050-05:00Blue Apron, Day Four: So hot.If I had to use one adjective to sum up my latest <a href="http://www.blueapron.com/" target="_blank">Blue Apron</a> meal, it'd be hot. First of all, I used way too much chipotle pepper and my lower lip is tingling, and second, I have learned my lesson about cooking anything from Blue Apron on 475. Never again.<br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_MEmZVQRru0Q2mO5RNoI2IrMBcrgOZlLaSELHAWg1ooOBFV9ciDMgins2ppgnlQ5Ph9wvn4q9K7OgR_xeIrtAbOjZgcl57Jc1Lu5Md7TYISS0YAkTdLw-Iv_2rJlmGgxa8RA8/s1600/IMG_3443.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_MEmZVQRru0Q2mO5RNoI2IrMBcrgOZlLaSELHAWg1ooOBFV9ciDMgins2ppgnlQ5Ph9wvn4q9K7OgR_xeIrtAbOjZgcl57Jc1Lu5Md7TYISS0YAkTdLw-Iv_2rJlmGgxa8RA8/s200/IMG_3443.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">All of the ingredients</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Tonight's meal was Roasted Chicken and Mixed Mushrooms with Crispy Rosemary-Orange Salad and Chipotle Pan Sauce. I did this one first because I was really worried that the little box of mushrooms wouldn't hold up for several days. As it was, I had a few pieces of greens that just did not look very palatable so I tossed them.<br />
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Let's talk about the biggest positive first: The rosemary-orange salad. I had never used collard greens before, but thinly sliced and cooked with orange pieces, orange zest and water in a pan that was used to brown chicken is not the worst idea ever. The "dressing" was the second half of the orange pieces, a drizzle of olive oil, fried rosemary (I know it sounds weird) and a little salt and pepper. It was great.<br />
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The chicken, which was just bone-in, skin-on thighs sprinkled with salt and pepper, browned in a pan <br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihq_B7bZ5FpFn-qrUzKgdbAKc75KpH4x9PZyjEg4oDm8fgy_yr1v-bZpz09XAqqQxv14M8o2Xswkkr1Z30CWQxWv6VCWBS_lPH7dLTe5Oa7sJi0-YbpWM0FngZKjqNFrOjGL4n/s1600/IMG_3447.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihq_B7bZ5FpFn-qrUzKgdbAKc75KpH4x9PZyjEg4oDm8fgy_yr1v-bZpz09XAqqQxv14M8o2Xswkkr1Z30CWQxWv6VCWBS_lPH7dLTe5Oa7sJi0-YbpWM0FngZKjqNFrOjGL4n/s200/IMG_3447.JPG" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I've never roasted <br />
mushrooms before!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
and roasted in the oven tasted very good, but one thigh is not enough for dinner. It's not an expensive cut of meat, and if one of your thighs was paltry (like mine), then you might have been hungry at the end of your meal. Especially if your mushrooms were shriveled to oblivion, but we'll get to that in a second. If I hadn't needed a lunch to take to my all-day class tomorrow, I would have eaten the entire two portions for dinner.<br />
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The roasted mushrooms. Not roasted. Petrified. I should've learned my lesson about cooking anything from Blue Apron on 475 for the directed amount of time after <a href="http://ljrichards76.blogspot.com/2016/04/blue-apron-day-1.html" target="_blank">the sweet potato fiasco</a>, but I let my guard down after two perfect recipes. I actually didn't cook them the entire time. They were still shriveled up pieces of charcoal edible fungi. Disappointing.<br />
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This sauce was good, but way too spicy. I was a little nervous about cooking with chipotle peppers, especially after the warnings to cut them last and wash your hands, cutting board and knife immediately after. The recipe did say to taste as <br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZTEtQVFPQiMks_Tdut85v4mlhuRMIm3ieWlsj-vExUeZqZD804xavi64QbKsaw4mOOhNmAmXVI49hD8E5lIRbs4OvTllqRMvFAxDQethiZZ8kbSmVV8fs_JdlDjlC7IzvGEbl/s1600/IMG_3448.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZTEtQVFPQiMks_Tdut85v4mlhuRMIm3ieWlsj-vExUeZqZD804xavi64QbKsaw4mOOhNmAmXVI49hD8E5lIRbs4OvTllqRMvFAxDQethiZZ8kbSmVV8fs_JdlDjlC7IzvGEbl/s200/IMG_3448.JPG" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Oops.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
you added the pepper to make sure that you didn't get it too spicy, except chipotle is a slow burn so it didn't taste that spicy as it was cooking. And then I plated it and ate my food, and my lip is finally regaining its feeling.<br />
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My plate wasn't that pretty tonight. First of all, those poor mushrooms. Secondly, my drizzle of creme fraiche did not look like I'd hoped. I did use a beautiful Fiesta plate just in case it turned out nice.<br />
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I did drink some wine tonight. I didn't match it perfectly to Blue Apron, because I had another local wine to drink. This one was a 2014 Kinzley Reserve from <a href="http://www.arringtonvineyards.com/" target="_blank">Arrington Vineyards.</a> It's mostly Sauvignon Blanc (with some Symphony grapes thrown in), so I knew it would go well with an orange-sauced chicken. It has nice citrus and tropical fruit undertones. It went really well with spicy, citrus chicken. The wine was another highlight of tonight's meal.<br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixKc1zzDqAFfox4PxrnuPVGUTTHkX9hT-UUuaYXhMWnEQisgwguLqoevs6m0A2uodAQZdNl7iuDM0NrsAqur32LCv5f2TWBCgvYzPB71RHj8CmoUnfzw0HByVRx7ZztelF-TpY/s1600/IMG_3449.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixKc1zzDqAFfox4PxrnuPVGUTTHkX9hT-UUuaYXhMWnEQisgwguLqoevs6m0A2uodAQZdNl7iuDM0NrsAqur32LCv5f2TWBCgvYzPB71RHj8CmoUnfzw0HByVRx7ZztelF-TpY/s200/IMG_3449.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The plate is pretty. The actual plate.<br />
It's Fiesta ware.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Lastly, this recipe took a lot longer than the 35-45 minutes the card promised. It actually took 35 minutes for the prep and over an hour for the whole meal. A good chunk of that was pulling each individual rosemary leaf off the stalks. But rosemary briefly fried in olive oil is delicious and it makes your house smell lovely, especially if someone put in a Christmas <a href="https://scentsy.com/" target="_blank">Scentsy</a> and your house smells like pine trees in April, but I digress.<br />
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This was my first disappointment with Blue Apron, and it was still not horrible. I had never roasted mushrooms before, and I would've loved for them to turn out. I guess I am just getting aggravated that I can't successfully navigate 475 degrees on my oven. Tomorrow night is catfish sandwich day. I am hoping it is as easy as it looks. Also, I totally missed the cancellation deadline today (I think I was messed up being in Central Time Zone, because I thought it was noon and it was really 11 a.m.), so I am getting one more week. I don't know if I will keep blogging about it. I may just post on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter instead of dissecting the whole process. But that will definitely be my last week for a bit.<br />
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P,S. Blue Apron had a contest to have someone video you while made tonight's meal. I kind of wish I would since it was such a hot mess, but I don't think that's what they were hoping for.Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10807072237172210759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16302302.post-5152635789424446452016-04-12T21:22:00.001-05:002016-04-12T21:22:33.062-05:00Blue Apron Day 3Today was probably the most challenging <a href="http://www.blueapron.com/" target="_blank">Blue Apron</a> day -- which isn't saying much because Blue Apron makes things really easy -- but it was also the most delicious Blue Apron meal that I've had.<br />
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Tonight was Nepalese Chicken Tarkari, and I wasn't sure what to expect because I've never had any type of Nepalese meal before. I knew the spice blend included some curry, but aside from I had no idea what this meal would taste like.<br />
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This was the last night of my first Blue Apron week, and everything was still fresh. I was a little <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq2KCtVAsHGXoRBP5p3BxBy0Gvei2pUXZVeT6V0VdqFnD2b1TQfEsoK3DpZ9j9m4LeeyueQfGONBvXTiziZNB_3SeaM5Q26fAqyuEvqXneaQ-xe5aJVNVs_yxB9-sMVJ2S0Fg6/s1600/IMG_3436.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq2KCtVAsHGXoRBP5p3BxBy0Gvei2pUXZVeT6V0VdqFnD2b1TQfEsoK3DpZ9j9m4LeeyueQfGONBvXTiziZNB_3SeaM5Q26fAqyuEvqXneaQ-xe5aJVNVs_yxB9-sMVJ2S0Fg6/s200/IMG_3436.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">In the beginning...</td></tr>
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worried about the produce, but I just didn't have time to get to the meal before this afternoon. The produce was not bad, but it was not as fresh as it was six days ago. I was impressed by that. I also realized a few days ago that there was creme fraiche for this recipe and it was not in my fridge. I am pleased to report that the packaging kept it fresh in the knick-knack bag.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnHxJo7xlJVky0pjiQdAceqoHSRZXYaWH6A16KRyo0v9piiz2HgOCmBOqEatWPt20RgKmrMVsj1bcjDoFzA8RvjtzKQhRxTFreoV-ri5mwyJz6xwNgJlwO9DPHF7N1VgNcd0yg/s1600/IMG_3438.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnHxJo7xlJVky0pjiQdAceqoHSRZXYaWH6A16KRyo0v9piiz2HgOCmBOqEatWPt20RgKmrMVsj1bcjDoFzA8RvjtzKQhRxTFreoV-ri5mwyJz6xwNgJlwO9DPHF7N1VgNcd0yg/s200/IMG_3438.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Fresh ginger and garlic!</td></tr>
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There were a lot of firsts in this recipe. I never use fresh garlic and fresh ginger because they are a pain in the butt. I am not sure I did the world's best mincing job, but they gave the meal amazing flavor. (I did learn that I probably need to break down and get a nice knife set because I had trouble chopping up my cooked spinach too.) I also cooked rice and had it turn out, which never seems to happen in my world. I like all the little tips that Blue Apron gives me.<br />
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Speaking of the rice, it took a lot less time to cook than I thought it would and it just kind of sat there (and got a little bit sticky) while I was cooking the chicken and preparing the sauce. The chicken was a place where I went off recipe for a minute. I used the glass lid to my pan instead of tenting the pan with foil to speed up the cooking time. One of my chicken breasts was really thick and the other one was almost a cutlet. I had to remove the thinner one first and let it sit on the plate while the other finished cooking, and it took longer than planned.<br />
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The sauce was easy to make and it was great. I will probably use canned crushed tomatoes more often <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicjFGdLYmsi6t4oKqS5Frvxb3QFPyhH3NibXkboKV67ZH8dUFukYakAxcsACBH_BOCFBVPPDAGpSqQKuWriYkSPvbHv_VP3qacmeefR91XfNsKs_zJ37cx7AFszXTw3eY5WuTW/s1600/IMG_3439.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicjFGdLYmsi6t4oKqS5Frvxb3QFPyhH3NibXkboKV67ZH8dUFukYakAxcsACBH_BOCFBVPPDAGpSqQKuWriYkSPvbHv_VP3qacmeefR91XfNsKs_zJ37cx7AFszXTw3eY5WuTW/s200/IMG_3439.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">So much sauce</td></tr>
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in cooking because I really liked the flavor and consistency. The creme fraiche really helped balance out the acidity and the spices.<br />
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The smells coming out of my kitchen for this meal were probably my favorite part. Everything smelled so delicious that I was literally salivating waiting to get everything plated. It still took me more than 40 minutes. Tonight's meal came in at 55, but maybe I am just not a speedy cook. I know my kitchen has a horrible layout, and I am sure that doesn't help. This was my last free meal, but I'm going to go ahead and try another week of Blue Apron and then I may take a little break. I don't want to get burned out on it. I am just really looking forward to what I'll be getting in the package tomorrow.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVN_S2FJ4BkbmZ6cqcMIo68FsRajcrrdeuCYEB2r-TYy4iQCbdrbY3HP9iRsmF9RIfeJkbEAOj0ghFVmQWUKcIQIvh8S20wjfR2UH6hPZ3Hd9ebzPsOPvya56RzE2Cvutuu21e/s1600/IMG_3440.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVN_S2FJ4BkbmZ6cqcMIo68FsRajcrrdeuCYEB2r-TYy4iQCbdrbY3HP9iRsmF9RIfeJkbEAOj0ghFVmQWUKcIQIvh8S20wjfR2UH6hPZ3Hd9ebzPsOPvya56RzE2Cvutuu21e/s200/IMG_3440.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The finished product</td></tr>
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Perhaps my only complaint with this meal, which is going to sound silly because of how delicious it was, is that there was a lot of food for this one. When I looked at the recipe card I couldn't figure out how this came in at more than 600 calories. There was so much rice, and I probably had to put about one-third of a cup of the sauce down the disposal (although the sauce is so delicious that you might want extra). I just hated to waste any of it because the whole point of Blue Apron for me is to cut down on waste.<br />
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I also didn't do the wine pairing tonight because I was feeling dehydrated and stuck with water. I think if I had paired it, I probably would've gone with a Pinot Grigio because of all the spiciness that was happening.<br />
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I can't remember everything I'm getting next week, but I know there is catfish and pork chops. Stay tuned to see what else I have to say about this experiment. Today I was telling my aunts that they should try it. They have been really struggling to get dinner on the table without grandma running their kitchen as only a retired dietary manager could. They asked me a lot of questions about recipes, value, how it is delivered. I suspect at the end of the day they may be too finicky with their food preferences and they worried that they lived too far away for the deliveries, but I would love for them to try it.<br />
<br />Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10807072237172210759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16302302.post-33297269049568965372016-04-09T18:23:00.003-05:002016-04-09T18:24:10.019-05:00Blue Apron: Day 2So, I am getting the hang of this Blue Apron thing. I'm getting more familiar with following their recipes, and the meals are getting more delicious. I am really looking forward to next week's recipes because I am not sure if they can top this week.<br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPm9GBQC2hABd3YAfa1HfSsKP_JdZGc84G6aunrkpqY8WWO27jFgTUQsOPkHIw9-MO7364pHh-KosfA1skVhLChLDtr4EJLUZ0Etv1o4Etw6oHNfoOzne7WDwx-U0CX4t8Zm8r/s1600/IMG_3419.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPm9GBQC2hABd3YAfa1HfSsKP_JdZGc84G6aunrkpqY8WWO27jFgTUQsOPkHIw9-MO7364pHh-KosfA1skVhLChLDtr4EJLUZ0Etv1o4Etw6oHNfoOzne7WDwx-U0CX4t8Zm8r/s200/IMG_3419.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The beginnings of meatball ragout</td></tr>
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My second meal was Meatball Ragout with Swiss Chard. Today's true confessions are that I've never made a ragout before (it's like a stew), and I can't remember a time that I've used chard. I wasn't sure how the chard would hold up for several days, so I decided to cook it before the chicken dish that I'll be making tomorrow.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpp7NRDyTJVhPoBlD2fMIv5-Au2_ldknwbUQ4UhWERvDG2z29st7ipXC3M0zyZCxgek0d9uPmTSWpf65oGwRfdNoi2vz_9mkxn3j5IpTNXe1Xzl4wVp9FML3uYoVX_lYBGJcFk/s1600/IMG_3421.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpp7NRDyTJVhPoBlD2fMIv5-Au2_ldknwbUQ4UhWERvDG2z29st7ipXC3M0zyZCxgek0d9uPmTSWpf65oGwRfdNoi2vz_9mkxn3j5IpTNXe1Xzl4wVp9FML3uYoVX_lYBGJcFk/s200/IMG_3421.JPG" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">So. Much. Prep.</td></tr>
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This meal required a lot of prep. There were lots of veggies to cut up, meatballs to roll out (although this was the easiest time I've had making meatballs), and lots of cooking. The meat had to be browned, then the potatoes had to get started before you added the other veggies. And then you had to add the browned meat back in <br />
with the chard and some water. It was very labor intensive, and it didn't take 40 minutes. It took 59. I set a timer to see if I could deliver in under 40 minutes like it promised. I didn't even have to find the corkscrew this time. But even with all the prep and cooking, it was still easier to prepare that if I'd done it myself, and it was delicious. This was, however, a meal that I might try to replicate on my own. It's a perfect stew for a cold, rainy day, so it worked out that I made it yesterday.<br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXbB65-92SRRvY8im_Zl38KYoWzDVEIg1asgEP-QRT1Y4EVSAICRkYhBv2ANZoS2tw0mQhZTKx_HStZ1WgpYKK1k4A5wMeYuS3EzVtEhq7pciCaKMQ0WNOfNkvAjc70wqfRnfS/s1600/IMG_3422.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXbB65-92SRRvY8im_Zl38KYoWzDVEIg1asgEP-QRT1Y4EVSAICRkYhBv2ANZoS2tw0mQhZTKx_HStZ1WgpYKK1k4A5wMeYuS3EzVtEhq7pciCaKMQ0WNOfNkvAjc70wqfRnfS/s200/IMG_3422.JPG" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Meatballs before</td></tr>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLVWoh7o7S2VANLPIsl9ADJFVEnK7lWkB4c8zPp0OFc1Tf8XSOibyqQjLAbyOO-yxJmj2j1Ul7WbdY9M5FNa-skwnkycYDDkAi90eG-ZEZjXpxFvDL1rLp9CC3M9CpO4xz24Iq/s1600/IMG_3424.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLVWoh7o7S2VANLPIsl9ADJFVEnK7lWkB4c8zPp0OFc1Tf8XSOibyqQjLAbyOO-yxJmj2j1Ul7WbdY9M5FNa-skwnkycYDDkAi90eG-ZEZjXpxFvDL1rLp9CC3M9CpO4xz24Iq/s200/IMG_3424.JPG" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Meatballs after</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6JYC5a6PMShK8s7PUVC8jsLLd2bGrC9zrY-4jsvIAU34YPeHjgHPYRdu-tynYS0CHk4mpGy2eYADpV_MiuuIri9wYKMnLrBYyZNWwqR1nzjPOfWrhfyEGr6XEkKFf7ioi05uR/s1600/IMG_3423.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6JYC5a6PMShK8s7PUVC8jsLLd2bGrC9zrY-4jsvIAU34YPeHjgHPYRdu-tynYS0CHk4mpGy2eYADpV_MiuuIri9wYKMnLrBYyZNWwqR1nzjPOfWrhfyEGr6XEkKFf7ioi05uR/s200/IMG_3423.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Meatballs during</td></tr>
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While I am not still not sure about the value of Blue Apron and I have concerns about all the waste of <br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsqTiWu95T7N8gQ22zM8KmfD4-fl-VMEQE2C8Cc6CtjYPKTNZPJwF3TNoRkzva8XL6NFO-FAXW_BupEJDDMkcRga_YRbcaLf8ysctCcISxL7rIyFsfGsrYDN3u4O5lwiY_-FLP/s1600/IMG_3427.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsqTiWu95T7N8gQ22zM8KmfD4-fl-VMEQE2C8Cc6CtjYPKTNZPJwF3TNoRkzva8XL6NFO-FAXW_BupEJDDMkcRga_YRbcaLf8ysctCcISxL7rIyFsfGsrYDN3u4O5lwiY_-FLP/s200/IMG_3427.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lifesavers!</td></tr>
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these tiny, individual packages, some of the specialized ingredients in this meal were appreciated. Two tablespoons of tomato paste in a packet is perfect. I waste so much tomato paste in my life. You buy a whole can for one or two tablespoons, and then a few weeks later you throw away a half can of moldy tomato paste. And another one of the "knick knacks" in this recipe was a tablespoon of beef demi-glace. Demi-glace is something that eludes me in my culinary adventures. I was glad that I didn't have to attempt to make it on my own. Add in a tablespoon of corn starch and 1/4 cup of panko bread crumbs, you're adding a lot of convenience if someone likes to cook but doesn't have a very well-stocked pantry.<br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9yWUu8Fun__22_c82Q6FVDG3Nk47peFusC4TkbCVmFEUH38kLnIjbcWUcTvh4Gg5mprxE_kY7B49EpV7PBg_YRv2gWjckx7Y6KFnbHi73EcU3gv47HI3HgP81Vjf9VZle2Nwk/s1600/IMG_3426.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9yWUu8Fun__22_c82Q6FVDG3Nk47peFusC4TkbCVmFEUH38kLnIjbcWUcTvh4Gg5mprxE_kY7B49EpV7PBg_YRv2gWjckx7Y6KFnbHi73EcU3gv47HI3HgP81Vjf9VZle2Nwk/s200/IMG_3426.JPG" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cooking the veggies</td></tr>
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The meatballs were perfect. I'm not sure I can replicate that spice blend if I decide to make this again later. They were just the right size and cooked perfectly. I loved the tips on that part of the recipe. The chard wasn't hard to work with, and I liked the flavor. All of the veggies worked well with the meat, along with the beefy, tomato-y flavor. And this recipe made a lot of food. I was told when I started that there would be some meals that would probably be more than two servings and this was one of them. I ate it for dinner two nights in a row, and I might have it again for lunch tomorrow. (Or maybe for a snack later tonight, if we're being honest.) But it was filling. I didn't eat a bowl of it and starve later in the evening. It was just so delicious and there's still some in the fridge, and it may just end up in my belly. And it's not bad for you. The only carbs were from veggies and a tablespoon or so of panko bread crumbs, and it came in at 550 calories per serving, assuming you ate half of the pan in one serving.<br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr8sjDve5Af6yqhWQy7yI7Qlqlj7-2p7B3HI64XGWxUKBJ62jIRjERblVOJ-mST5w1iSVRg_3gtKTzOD8ofGGklsaSRo3fP-ZDy9tWmxcLDo_mqSUe21h-aky_ZzK6iq4q8WMu/s1600/IMG_3428.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr8sjDve5Af6yqhWQy7yI7Qlqlj7-2p7B3HI64XGWxUKBJ62jIRjERblVOJ-mST5w1iSVRg_3gtKTzOD8ofGGklsaSRo3fP-ZDy9tWmxcLDo_mqSUe21h-aky_ZzK6iq4q8WMu/s200/IMG_3428.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">After adding the chard and meatballs</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I am still really enjoying Blue Apron, but even if I had the money right now I would have to take weeks off here and there. The food is good, but I could see it getting to be a bit much. Some nights I still just want to throw a turkey burger on the George Foreman grill. I don't need gourmet meals every night, and this is from someone who likes to cook. For one thing, all of this prep dirties a lot of dishes. So far I've been able to keep everything limited to one cooking pan, but all of the bowls to hold all the various veggies so that you can follow the process can be overwhelming. Thank goodness I have a dishwasher. And, honestly, I am trying to follow the process because I'm reporting on it. If I were just flying by the seat of my pants like usual, I would just throw stuff together to not have so much to clean up.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4ab1D6WZ9u-Ka1kxlPxXTxB6hjVfo4r_CtQyxbWa0piqY5oWfOYGe11Y7d4bfQP8FZoYbfpACnKk569KPEqH0wRKCJObpZRQif_SaV2MpAAgDbeRMV4ZXZ1VjNsSFJARQZ2la/s1600/IMG_3429+%25281%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4ab1D6WZ9u-Ka1kxlPxXTxB6hjVfo4r_CtQyxbWa0piqY5oWfOYGe11Y7d4bfQP8FZoYbfpACnKk569KPEqH0wRKCJObpZRQif_SaV2MpAAgDbeRMV4ZXZ1VjNsSFJARQZ2la/s200/IMG_3429+%25281%2529.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The finished product</td></tr>
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Tomorrow night is something totally different: Nepalese Chicken Tarkari. I have never made any Nepalese food before, and it looks good in the pictures. I am guessing it might be a little spicy.<br />
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Stay tuned for a full report.<br />
<br />Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10807072237172210759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16302302.post-87961468941585452512016-04-07T08:00:00.000-05:002016-04-07T08:00:05.289-05:00Blue Apron: Day 1To start off, I've been wanting to try Blue Apron. For those not familiar, Blue Apron is a subscription service that sends you a box of ingredients to cook several meals for the week. They tout the meals as "restaurant quality," and so far I think that's a fair claim. The first meal I tried was BBQ-spiced salmon and roasted sweet potato rounds. It wasn't crazy fancy, definitely not too hard to cook, but it wasn't something I'd normally make on a random Wednesday.<br />
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A friend offered a free week of Blue Apron for me to try. A week normally costs $59.94, and that gives you enough food for three meals for two. I wondered if it would work for a single lady, but my single friend does it and packs the second portion for lunch the next day. This is what I'm trying this week. Despite the fact that I waste a lot of food buying either a ton for one recipe or letting stuff waste because I get sick of leftovers, I'm still mulling over whether or not it's a value. I've committed to giving it two weeks to try. Luckily they are pretty good at letting you opt out if you can't do a week here or there. If I were still busy working 70 hours a week, it might be a completely different story. It really saved me a lot of time in the kitchen and allowed me to control my portions. $60 is just a lot to budget with so little money coming in. Most likely I will really commit to this service once I have a full-time job and time is more at a premium again.<br />
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Having everything I needed for a recipe right in front of me on the counter and having a recipe card that actually says: "While the potatoes are cooking, make your salad dressing and toast your walnuts," saved me a ton of time. A ton. It is supposed to take you no more than 40 minutes to cook a <a href="http://www.blueapron.com/" target="_blank">Blue Apron</a> meal, and I don't think my first effort took that long. And I did get a little behind because I wanted wine and my corkscrew had to be located while the oven was pre-heating. That was supposed to be my slicing-and-dicing time.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hey, hey, Hahira Red!</td></tr>
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Speaking of wine, Blue Apron also recommends two wines you might want to pair with each meal. Clearly someone at Blue Apron is my spirit animal. However, I did not try either a Zinfandel or Pinot Noir with this wine (I had both) because I had a red wine I purchased in Georgia that I thought might be corked and going bad. I wanted to drink it while I still could, but it now appears that it was probably just hand bottled and the cork was fine. It still went well with barbecue salmon and sweet potatoes, so I'm still winning. I do, however, recommend maybe not buying the last wine you try at a tasting because it didn't really taste how I remembered it. However, if you're looking for a red that says it's a dessert wine but is fine with a hearty meal and you ever find yourself in South Georgia, try Hahira Red Supreme at <a href="http://www.horsecreekwinery.com/" target="_blank">Horse Creek Winery</a>.<br />
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Now, back to the meal. My meal was delicious. There were a few things that were just OK, but it was nutritious, well balanced and tasty. My biggest issues were that the 475 temp on the sweet potatoes was too high. I suspected that when I turned the oven on, but I figured our Blue Apron friends were wiser about these things than I am. Even cooking on the short end of the recommended time, I burned about one-third of my potatoes. Not even like "this-could-be-a-potato-chip" burned. We're talking ashes.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sweet potatoes going into oven</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sweet potatoes after</td></tr>
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The salad was delicious with a great flavor profile. It was also very healthful with a ton of greens and apple pieces, a spattering of toasted nuts and a vinaigrette made with olive oil, whole grain dijon mustard, diced shallots and red wine vinegar. Based on the wet paper bag for my "knick-knacks," as Blue Apron calls them, I'd say that my little vinegar bottle sprung a leak. I put what was in the bottle in the bowl and added almost two tablespoons of my own red wine vinegar (side note: using old wine to make vinegar is working y'all) and it was still a very pasty consistency, not like a vinaigrette at all. It tasted good, but it just didn't look/feel like a salad dressing. I could have done something wrong, but I thought I had followed the directions. (Actually, I appear to have missed a note in parentheses and put too much shallot in. That might have made a difference.)<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Wild caught salmon. Yay!</td></tr>
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The salmon was great. I haven't cooked salmon at home for probably 12 years or so because I got violently ill from eating it once. I have had reactions since then. However, I recently realized that it might be the <a href="http://qz.com/358811/heres-why-your-farmed-salmon-has-color-added-to-it/" target="_blank">dye they use at factory farm</a>s. When they told me I was getting salmon this week, I decided that I would try it because if they are using salmon that I can eat, then I will be introducing it back into my diet when I use this service. Anyhow, the salmon was dipped in a barbecue spice mix, which was brown sugar, paprika and some other good stuff. Then I just pan seared it for a few minutes on each side. I haven't eaten much salmon in my recent memory, but it was very delicious.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Salmon dipped in the seasoning blend</td></tr>
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All in all, I like Blue Apron so far. I hope I get to stick with it. I am a pretty good cook, but I stink at coming up with meal ideas. It is also nice to have everything y<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Look! I'm toasting nuts!</td></tr>
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ou need delivered right to your door and having it right there when it's time to cook. While it's a little odd to just get a single carrot in my package, the only things I used out of my kitchen were salt, pepper and olive oil. This let me get in my kitchen therapy without taking up too much of my life. It also challenged me. Do you know that in my 20-some years of cooking, I've never toasted nuts?<br />
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In addition to saving a lot of time planning, shopping and finding stuff in your kitchen, I think this is perfect for folks who don't have immediate access to a grocery store. I live halfway between a Kroger and a Publix, but if I lived in a big city like New York, Detroit, Chicago or somewhere else that grocery access can be sketchy, I would love this. Surprisingly Southern cities have much better grocery access (I'm looking at you, Nashville, Atlanta and Miami), so there isn't as much of a need for me. Even when I lived by the sketchy urban Kroger here in Nashville, there were two fancy suburb versions nearby.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The delicious finished product.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
So, that's day one of Blue Apron. Tomorrow I'll be making Meatball Ragout with swiss chard, mostly because I'm a little worried that the chard will not hold up as well as the meat will in the fridge. I guess we'll figure those kinks out in the next two weeks.<br />
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<br />Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10807072237172210759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16302302.post-59588901365063086702016-04-06T18:25:00.002-05:002016-04-06T18:25:41.726-05:00The times they are a-changin'If I could use only one sentence to sum up the last six months, it'd be: <b>My life has completely changed.</b><div>
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I feel bad that I haven't posted here. But sometimes saying things out loud make them seem more real, and honestly reality hasn't been great. Not that I'm living in a fantasy world. Most days just living at all is the most I can manage. I'm not going to rehash all the torrid details, I'm just going to sum up why I've been so quiet lately. To be honest, the biggest reason is because no one likes a whiner, and that's what I've felt like. I think (hope?) I've finally turned a corner, so maybe we can get back to business around here.</div>
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Let's start with losing my job. It was unexpected. That's all I'm going to say about that.</div>
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Then my paramour went back to California. I miss him dreadfully. He sent me a two-sentence text message a few months ago. </div>
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My grandma died at the beginning of February. It was very unexpected, and my family is managing the best we can. Some days are OK, many are not, and none are particularly good.</div>
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So, here I am, one month away from turning 40. I have no job. I have no grandma. And what fond memories I have a great guy are fading and being replaced by the shitty feelings you get when you reply to someone's text and realize they are done talking. </div>
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I think I mentioned that I worked on a project that talked about the effects of technology on people's lives. And in the course of that project, the psychiatrist they interviewed said that people go online because seeing pictures of smiling people and puppies and cute babies cheer them up. The opposite is true; sob stories on the internet bring people down. So, I've been trying not to be that person. But it's hard when your life seems to be rapidly circling the drain some days.</div>
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I know things will get better because eventually they have to. It's just hard getting there. I've had a lot of good interviews, but nothing has percolated yet. I know that means it's not the right fit, but I'm not sure that the bank that holds the note on my home is going to take "I haven't found the right fit," instead of cold, hard cash.</div>
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I figured you all deserved an update. I wish I had a better report. However, I promise to be less scarce. In fact, tomorrow I'm going to start the first of three reports on <a href="http://www.blueapron.com/" target="_blank">Blue Apron</a>.</div>
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Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10807072237172210759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16302302.post-4845021362826562152015-11-02T12:55:00.002-06:002015-11-02T12:58:30.370-06:00Best if sold by...<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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After having a significant other disappear on me with no
explanation, the thought of having a relationship with an expiration date
seemed like it might be a good idea. I wasn’t looking for anything serious,
because I wasn’t positive that I wouldn’t completely change course if the
dysfunction came back knocking. (I know that sounds horrible, but if I start
lying on my blog I might as well pack it up and go home.)</div>
<br />
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So, enter the adorable, charming, smarter-than-smart guy who
needed someone to show him around for a few months while he was here on a special
assignment from work – work that is normally 2,200 miles away in California. (And
I’m not going to say where he works, mostly because they make it very easy to
search for things on the Internet. But they may or may not be the people who
power this blog.)</div>
<br />
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You know I love showing people around Nashville, so I am
sure that is part of the reason that I decided to swipe right (remind me we
need to talk about this swiping right absurdity). After having a few months of wondering
how I got so lucky with the swiping, I went back and looked at his profile and
I remember thinking that he was my age and liking the picture of him and his
kids, although they are pretty much grown now. </div>
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And, just today, I realized the concept of a relationship
with a known expiration date is the shittiest thing ever. Because all of a
sudden, months went to being days and literally now I can probably count the
hours that I get to spend with him. And that sucks, partly because there are
things I know we probably won’t get to do (like having breakfast at the
Loveless Café and then taking a leisurely ride on the Natchez Trace or him
teaching me how to play his new video game that he’s been super excited about
since the day he got it), and partly because he’ll go back to his exciting life
in tech-land, and I’ll go back to my parade of deadbeats and fuckwits. </div>
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Let’s all be honest here. None of us think that lightning
will strike twice. The chances of me finding someone who can keep up with me
intellectually, is actually more progressive than I am, does OK for himself, is
dead sexy without even trying and takes care of me (but not in a non-feminist
way, because he is a way bigger feminist than I am, which I found out when I
went on my bossy vs. leaning in tirade the other morning. I’m OK with being
bossy, by the way.) are pretty slim. I don’t even know where you would find one
of these people here unless they have been sent here on a special assignment
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Of course, part of me wonders if the reason he’s so awesome
is because there is an expiration date. Maybe he’s being nice because he knows
he only has to put up with me for a few months, and it’s in small doses.
Whatever it is, I’m having a hell of a time, and I’m doing my damnedest to keep
it together when I think about the sand in the hourglass slipping away at what
seems like a very rapid clip. A few weeks ago he told me he was going to be a
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Actually, now that I am trying to gain a little nerd cred, I
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although I’ve always been a fan of the TARDIS, even though you’re apparently
not supposed to call the guy Dr. Who. Seriously, how was I supposed to know
that? I did accidentally watch the SyFy channel all on my own yesterday, and I
feel like that earns me 26 million points if we are keeping score. (And he probably is keeping score because he's a gamer with a highly competitive streak.)</div>
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As I was crying this morning, one of my friends pointed out
that nothing in life is guaranteed. We aren’t promised another second with
anyone. And I guess that’s true, and probably the best way to think about it.
No one knows what tomorrow brings, but you’ve all been here long enough to know
that I sure as hell like to worry about it. </div>
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If nothing else, spending time with him meant that I missed
that 11:45 p.m. message that could have only been one thing (Sidebar: it’s
funny; he works for the company that is a major reason that we’re all super
connected and have the attention span of gnats, and I very rarely look at my
phone with him; at least I’m not wasting our time together, although today I’ve
kind of wished I’d stuffed a few more things in here and there). And, he keeps
getting after me to finish my half-written novel, so maybe that’s what ends up
coming out of this. I’m working a lot less because he mentioned he only saw me
once a week, and I realized that wasn’t just someone being controlling and not
trusting of me. And every single minute we’ve spent together has been a
treasure. This is probably exactly what I needed after the machismo. I hope,
just a little bit, that I’ve somehow made a positive impact on his life, but I
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And who knows, maybe I’ll celebrate finishing my book with a
trip to the land of wine, Ghiradelli chocolates and cable cars. Finishing the
book is actually just ahead of “Go to Napa” on the bucket list anyhow.</div>
<br />
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Song of the day: <a href="https://youtu.be/K-H35Mpj4uk" target="_blank">Wildest Dreams by Taylor Swift</a></div>
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</div>
Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10807072237172210759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16302302.post-56791076490707039312015-07-30T15:05:00.001-05:002015-11-05T14:02:26.889-06:00I would've...<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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I haven’t really written for a while, but I’m pretty sure if
I don’t do so today that I will actually go insane. Have you ever actually felt
your mind reeling and your soul shocked and not known what to do with yourself?
Yeah, that’s me right now.<br />
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So when I last checked in last month, I was telling you that
things had not worked out with the adorable boy from Michigan who lit up my
world with his smile. I loved the way he smelled. I loved his bald head. I
loved the sound of his voice. I loved that he knew to give me Vernor’s when I
had an upset stomach and had his brother send us BetterMade chips to take on a
road trip. I loved the way he called me babe or mama and always told me he
loved me as our heads hit the pillow at night.<br />
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When I was last here in June, we were broken up. We both
made mistakes and it seemed like we were doomed. But then at the end of last
month, he called me one night and told me things he swore he never told anyone
else. I was there right next to him when his mom was in the hospital for a
week. I held his hand, I rubbed his back while he rested his head on my chest,
exhausted and worried about if she was going to be OK.<br />
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I was the first person he called when he found out he was
getting a big promotion and raise at work. They were sending him to Chicago for
training, and he wanted me to meet him up there at the end of the week so we
could spend some time together. I hated that I was out of town, but we promised
to celebrate when I got back.<br />
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He said he was working long hours, getting his shop ready
for the new equipment coming from Japan, and maybe he was. He apologized
profusely because now that I had free time, he was the one working 14-hour
days. I told him not to worry because I wasn’t going anywhere.<br />
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But apparently I was. Last week, we talked several times and
he seemed happy. He sent me a text every morning to wake me up, using words
like “beautiful” and “baby.” We talked on the phone and he ended every call
with “I love you.” He told me that he was really missing me and was working on
finding some free time to see me, but work was “crazy as shit.”<br />
<br />
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The last thing he said to me on Friday was, “See you
tomorrow, babe.” He was coming to his sister’s birthday party on my side of town
the next day, and we were supposed to meet up after I got off work.<br />
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Friday, 6:15 p.m. See you tomorrow, babe.<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Saturday I texted him to see if he made it to work. He didn’t
answer, but he had told me his phone was acting up, and I knew he was trying to
get his work done to go to his sister’s party. I got busy with my day too.
Finally on my way to work I sent him a message that I hoped his phone was working
and to let me know if I was going to his mom’s when I got off work at 10.<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I hadn’t heard back at 9:30, I worried about how to get
in touch with him, figuring his phone was not working. Knowing his sister
loves to post pictures on Facebook, I figured that I’d check to see if there
were any from her party.<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I was unfriended. Figuring it was a mistake, I sent a
new friend request. I drove to his mom’s as planned, and it was dark and his
car wasn’t there. I decided to call and I saw my friend request had been
declined. He didn’t take my call.<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, here we are five days later. He did finally send a text
saying that he was sorry it happened this way.<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
That’s nice, but I still don’t know what it is or what this way
is. I have no fucking clue how we went from “I love you and I miss you mama,”
and “See you tomorrow, babe” to crickets.<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nothing. Not a word. No explanation. I am not saying that he
owes me some big dissertation or some weepy break-up scene. If you’re going to
be a pussy anyway, just send a two-sentence text or something.<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Apparently there is a new phenomenon that you just disappear
rather than break up with people now. But that’s for after a few weeks maybe,
not on the six-month anniversary of the day you met.<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t deal well with not knowing or understanding things.
Not having any type of answers or warning is really not good for my mental
state. I have had some pretty bad break-ups, but this is so bizarre and I don’t
even know how to process it.<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
And while I know it’s his loss, and I know whatever he
thinks he found out there is not going to be as good as what I had to offer
him, I am kind of feeling a little used right now. I feel like maybe there wasn’t
anything there at all and I missed it and there was some agenda that I didn’t
realize. And that’s not a good way to feel.<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Every day is easier than the last, and the shock is wearing
off. I’m beginning to see that maybe he wasn’t the person I thought he was. But
I also like to think I’m a pretty smart cookie most of the time, and this whole
situation has left me feeling like the dumbest shit in the history of the
universe. I also feel like maybe, perhaps I was just a big girl who lost her
mind because someone paid attention to her. It never felt like that at the
time, but he sure did get what he wanted and high-tail his way out of town,
didn’t he?<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
“See you tomorrow, babe.”<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had really hoped it was a broken phone or a
misunderstanding. And as I realize that it’s not, there are so many fresh
wounds and raw emotions that I can’t tamp down.<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
If I’d known that was our last hug, I would've held him
a little tighter for a little bit longer.<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
If I would've known it was the last time I would hear his
voice, I would’ve listened a little harder so I wouldn’t forget it.<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
If I would’ve known it was the last morning I woke up to
those big brown eyes , I would’ve stared into them a little longer.<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I would’ve said “I love you a few more times.”<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I would’ve called more and texted less (although it’s nice
to still see the words on my phone).<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I would’ve grabbed a cup of coffee and headed to his house
that night I was tired and just wanted to go to bed early.<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Would’ve. Would’ve. Would’ve. We never really know when our
last day with someone is, regardless of the circumstances.<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I wish I could call him and talk to him about the Tigers trading
Dave Price today.<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Oh, and to say: </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I love you, and I am really missing you, babe.<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Song of the day: "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey (because it had to be. Come on, now.) </div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10807072237172210759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16302302.post-49440898280914511792015-06-09T16:31:00.001-05:002015-06-09T16:31:34.837-05:00Too longI'm not quite sure why I haven't been over here for so long. It's embarrassing really. To some extent, life's been good so I haven't needed to bitch about it. In other ways, I've been clinging on to the edge hoping that no one steps on my fingers.<br />
<br />
And nine times out of ten, they do. But that's a story for another day.<br />
<br />
Let's see... what have I been up to?<br />
<br />
Well, I fell in love. With a sweet, adorable boy with a job who paid for things sometimes because he had a job. He was from Michigan too, and we bonded over our love of coney dogs and Tigers baseball. We even went to Florida for spring training.<br />
<br />
And then it went to shit and he was gone as quickly and unexpectedly as he arrived.<br />
<br />
Oh well. Thinking that it must not have been meant to be helps me sleep at night.<br />
<br />
My new bed -- the first one I've purchased in my entire life -- also helps me sleep at night. I have the improved sleep apnea numbers to prove it. This new bed contains memory foam, a regular mattress and a layer of gel under a pillow-top to keep me cool. It's pure heaven. It's also way too tall for a short girl, but like to think watching me get a running start every night is entertaining. <br />
<br />
I completed a quarter marathon in May, which was crazy and exhausting, but I'm sure it surprises no one that I am registered for a half marathon in September and actually thinking about doing 8 Tuff Miles in February. (And by thinking about it, I mean it's most likely going to happen.)<br />
<br />
I started selling jewelry. In my attempt to wean myself off of several of the various enterprises and occupations I have, I added something to hopefully bring some money in. We'll see how it goes. If it could just replace about 20 hours of these 60-hour weeks, I'd be happy.<br />
<br />
And less exhausted. Maybe have a clean house. Who knows?<br />
<br />
Anything else going on? Not really. The year without a mouse is going somewhat well, although I haven't ruled out one day in the Magic Kingdom at Christmas. We'll see how my week in the Caribbean is shaping up first.<br />
<br />
I think right now I am going to commit to at least a weekly update. I feel like I've developed ADD or something. If I can't say it in 140 characters on Twitter, it just isn't happening lately.<br />
<br />Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10807072237172210759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16302302.post-40153542081389383592014-12-15T10:49:00.001-06:002014-12-15T10:55:44.886-06:00The Student Loan SagaI don't like to air my dirty laundry on the internet (OK, that's a teeny bit of a fib), but I want to make sure that everyone understands what we are doing to our young people with student loans. Yes, I know that I am not young. Yes, I understand that I probably should've paid my loans off by now. And yes, I know that ultimately it's my problem if they don't get paid, but when my loans were managed by the U.S. government, they seemed less interested in ruining my life than this private outfit that manages them now. So, here is my whole letter today after my bajillionth letter from Granite State Management and Resources (I hope they google themselves) saying that I need to work with them, despite the fact that every time I call them, they are unwilling to work with me. Enjoy, and pay your bills, kids!<br />
<br />
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1418660611825_6807">
[Note: I am copying the office
of my Congressman, Jim Cooper, on this letter. I would hope that since
you are a contractor for the federal government and under that contract
at the will of the U.S. Congress that bringing his attention to the way
you do business will help other student loan borrowers in the future, if not myself.]</div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1418660611825_6808">
<br /></div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1418660611825_6809">
Thanks
for your letter. I am going to reply by email, which was one of the
ways that you suggested contacting you. I appreciate that you are
checking in on me and warning me of all the horrible shitty things that
could happen to me if I don't pay my student loan. However, I will not
be calling you from my office where my co-workers can hear my business
to listen to you tell me once again that you are unwilling to work with
me on my student loan despite my willingness to come to a solution that
works for everyone and your monthly emails saying that you want to work
with me (which is zero percent true at this point, but I'm sure the
federal government makes you send those out). </div>
<div id="yui_3_16_0_1_1418660611825_4783">
<br /></div>
<div data-setdir="false" dir="ltr" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1418660611825_8277">
<span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1418660611825_8286">First
of all, while I have missed several payments this year (which as I
explained and you do not care, was due to my roommate not paying her
rent for several months leaving me in a very precarious situation), I am
now paying you above the minimum payment required every month. Although
with the amount that I am in arrears, it will take several months -- if
not years -- to get myself back into a situation where I am caught up. I
am fully aware of this, but the last person I talked to explained that
as long as I made my payments it knocked 30 days off the number of days I
was in arrears and as long as I stayed under 365 (which I was well
under at the time I had this conversation) that I would not default.
However, your current email talks about all the bad things that happens
when one defaults, so I am beginning to wonder if this was yet another
of your fibs and exaggerations. Or maybe it's just a heavy-handed
attempt to milk blood out of a turnip. I'm not quite sure. If you could
enlighten me on where exactly we are in that process and if, in fact, I
am shaving 30 days off my impending doom in my attempt to catch up, that
would be greatly appreciated.</span></div>
<div data-setdir="false" dir="ltr" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1418660611825_9548">
<br /></div>
<div data-setdir="false" dir="ltr" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1418660611825_12545">
Thanks
for the newsflash that you are about to trash my credit several months
after you have decimated my credit. I could not even get a loan to buy
lunch at this point. I pray to God everyday that my car won't stop
working, and I live in constant fear that the bank will recall my
mortgage due to the rapid free fall of my credit score, and I will be
homeless. All because I missed a few loan payments and you refuse to
work with me. I am not asking for debt forgiveness. I am not asking for
reduced payments. All I want is a reasonable agreement that will allow
me to not be punished for the rest of my life because I fell on hard
times for a few months. Literally, this situation has me understanding
why people feel like there is no way out and kill themselves over their
student loans. Because most days I feel completely and utterly hopeless
that I will never be able to overcome this because I don't have $2,400
sitting around. Because I keep sending payments, yet the amount that I
am in arrears seems to be growing, not decreasing. And despite that fact
that I am now making payments and supposedly decreasing the amount of
time that I am in arrears, now I am getting a letter saying I am about
to default, which should not be happening if the last person I talked to
gave me correct information.</div>
<div data-setdir="false" dir="ltr" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1418660611825_12544">
<br /></div>
<div data-setdir="false" dir="ltr" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1418660611825_12543">
I
would love very much to work with you on this. But every single month I
call, you tell me there is nothing that can be done. And then every
single month you send this BS letter saying that I'm the one who's not
cooperating. I send $300/monthly, which is more than what is required,
but I cannot afford to send that much extra. And obviously the
$300/month is not helping. </div>
<div data-setdir="false" dir="ltr" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1418660611825_27083">
<br /></div>
<div data-setdir="false" dir="ltr" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1418660611825_14397">
Feel
free to call me on this issue if you have any ideas on how to fix it
besides sending me lip-service letters while ruining my life and my
future. I am willing to work with you, but there has to be some give and
take on both ends because at this point I am completely drowning and
terrified about my entire future due to this situation. And I want to
make sure that Congressman Cooper's office knows how the student loan
process makes people feel, because I feel like our people deserve
better. At least I'm 38 and own my home and vehicle. I can't imagine
what it must be like for young kids just starting out to be in this
situation.</div>
<div data-setdir="false" dir="ltr" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1418660611825_14404">
<br /></div>
<div data-setdir="false" dir="ltr" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1418660611825_14403">
My cell phone number is [redacted] if anyone would like to contact me. </div>
<div data-setdir="false" dir="ltr" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1418660611825_21857">
<br /></div>
<div data-setdir="false" dir="ltr" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1418660611825_14401">
Sincerely,</div>
<div data-setdir="false" dir="ltr" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1418660611825_27084">
Laura Richards <br />
<span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1418660611825_8286"></span></div>
<div data-setdir="false" dir="ltr" id="yui_3_16_0_1_1418660611825_8324">
<span id="yui_3_16_0_1_1418660611825_8286"><br class="yui-cursor" /></span></div>
Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10807072237172210759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16302302.post-37886831929182002962014-08-27T13:51:00.005-05:002014-08-27T13:55:40.283-05:00It's not all about you.I'm pretty sure that I told you that I cared very much about a person who chose to delete me from her life. No real explanation, no attempt to mend fences: Just proclaiming our friendship "awkward," telling me that there was no point in trying to fix things and deleting me from her life, including social media.<br />
<br />
As much as it pained me, at that point I just went along with my life without her. If she doesn't think our friendship is worth saving there isn't much I can do about it.<br />
<br />
And life has moved on without her. And that's fine. Each day is a little better than the last one. But, a lot has happened in my life that she's not privy to. Of course, that's her choice. It isn't one I would make, but nothing's accomplished by sitting around and hoping that she'll come to her senses, because I just don't see that happening. There were times that I thought about apologizing and seeing if I could patch things up, but I did nothing wrong and patches usually only last so long.<br />
<br />
So, even though it really sucks some days, I don't pick up the phone and call her when I have a shitty day like I used to. I think about what happened at Disney World, and how for a long time, she's the only person who knew besides my family who was with me. But, when everything in the world was going horribly wrong, she's the person I wanted with me. Her smile kept me from losing my shit. Her voice was the one that I wanted to hear.<br />
<br />
I would have loved for her to have been there for me when we buried a young man who was like a brother to me. I would have loved to have been able to call her when I watched my parents break down because a boy they thought of like a son had taken his own life.<br />
<br />
But she wasn't there, and that was her choice. Not having me in her life has been her choice. I never did anything to her but care for her and love her, for better or for worse.<br />
<br />
When Robin Williams killed himself a few weeks ago, my heart was still stinging from my personal loss. Having someone leave my world by suicide rocked me to the core. It is really the absolute worse thing that can happen to a family and/or friends. It is unexpected and devastating, and it leaves you wondering, wishing what you could've done to stop it, even if the answer probably is absolutely nothing.<br />
<br />
So, Robin Williams passed away, and I was still reeling in my own grief and pain. And, on a mutual friend's Facebook page, I summed up my feelings about Robin the same way I summed up my feelings about my friend:<br />
<br />
"So sad. What a permanent solution to a temporary problem."<br />
<br />
Well, apparently <i>someone</i> felt like that was a jab at her. You know, because she did actually utilize a permanent solution for a temporary problem and all. Of course, that also depends how you define permanent. I am surprised that I figured out that's what my perceived grievance because the only reason that me not being in her life would be permanent is if she remains to prideful to do anything about it. So, she blocked me from Facebook, which I wouldn't have even noticed if a mutual friend hadn't tagged her in something. Because I hadn't actually looked at her Facebook since she deleted me as her friend. I can take a hint. <br />
<br />
But it wasn't about her. Not at all. And I am kind of pissed that she thought that.<br />
<br />
I'm not pissed that she blocked me. I'm pissed that she thought I was taking a jab at her so she blocked me. First of all, I'd have to give her a thought to take a jab at her. And secondly, she doesn't know what's going on in my life because she removed herself from it. She wasn't there for me when my friend killed himself. She wasn't there to comfort me when I was hurting. <br />
<br />
It doesn't matter. I'm not sad that she blocked me. I am sure it will upset her way more than it upsets me. In fact, I just hope that some day she finds peace and happiness and love in her life because she deserves all of those things, whether she believes it or not.<br />
<br />
Song of the day: <a href="http://en.musicplayon.com/play?v=399803" target="_blank">"You're So Vain"</a> by Carly Simon (and I <i>still </i>need to know who this song is about)<br />
<br />
<br />Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10807072237172210759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16302302.post-78448826137495733072014-08-13T10:53:00.000-05:002014-08-13T10:53:15.307-05:00Time flies byAm I the only person who feels like the older we get, the shorter our days seem?<br />
<br />
Time is flying by. It's hard to believe we are half way through August. If you see the eight months that have come and gone with warp speed, let me know.<br />
<br />
Over the weekend, I went to New Orleans. That place was awesome. More on that later, including a possible rant about the dangers and pitfalls of this always-connected society.<br />
<br />
Now I am home. The week started off on Monday with a lecture from my nurse practitioner about not meeting my weight loss goals. This new gal is really take-no-prisoners, so I need to step up my game.<br />
<br />
With that in mind, here are some short-term goals related to fitness.<br />
<br />
1. Working out at least five times per week.<br />
2. Logging food for at least 20 days in a row.<br />
3. Wog (walk/jog) a 5k on Sept. 27 (which is already paid for).<br />
4. Complete the 30-day tricep dip challenge, with another challenge to follow.<br />
5. Lose 10 pounds by the time I go to Disney World in October.<br />
<br />
I also have several personal goals that I need to work on. Yesterday I finally realized that I am in a much better place than I was at the beginning of the year emotionally, even though it took me a helluva long time to figure it out. I deserve to be with a partner who is truly my partner, who is free to love me as much as I love him (yes, probably him). This means no more people with exes or spouses or emotional baggage that is holding them back. I shouldn't have to say that and it shouldn't have taken this long to figure it out. The reality is, when God sends you the person you are supposed to be with, that person will not be encumbered to someone else. They won't. They'll be ready to love you. And if you meet someone who isn't quite there and you love them, well, let them go and pray for them until he or she can figure his or her shit out. It's not your job to figure someone's shit out for them.<br />
<br />
Which reminds me, after I get back from Disney I am tightening the belt and getting in a better place financially, even if it means eating dried beans for half my life. I need to not rely on any other human being for anything, including my ability to pay my mortgage and/or my light bill. At some point I really do need to live like a grown-up, which means paying all my bills myself and not living beyond my means. Ideally, I would like to have my mortgage and my student loans be my only debt by the end of next year at the latest. This could be an interesting year.<br />
<br />
Lastly, I want to get back on trying new recipes every week. I know I keep saying that, but I am for real this time. I have 70 million cookbooks and get at least 16,000 recipe emails per week. So why am I going back and forth among the same recipes? It's time to get creative.<br />
<br />
That's it for my update. In short, shit's about to get real and it should be pretty fun. If nothing else, I promise you'll get a laugh or two at my expense along the way.<br />
Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10807072237172210759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16302302.post-76322510330377857052014-06-22T14:11:00.001-05:002014-06-22T14:18:47.949-05:00Not a bad thingIf I had seen this video before everything fell apart, I might have used it to plead my case.<br />
<br />
It's <a href="http://youtu.be/Vjty080jy60" target="_blank">not a bad thing</a> to fall in love with me.<br />
<br />
It really isn't. Despite what you may have heard.<br />
<br />
There's no pleading now. Ships have sailed. I don't know about everyone's heart, but mine is in 20 million tiny, little pieces.<br />
<br />
I lit a candle today at church. I prayed that she'll be OK, whatever that means. Her place in my heart is secure, even if it gets smaller as time passes by.<br />
<br />
Lessons learned. Tears shed. It really is getting easier everyday. <br />
<br />
But some days I would still love to run after her, apologize for whatever imaginary grievance is in her head...but I know that's not fair to me, accomplishes nothing and will probably only end up hurting me even more in the end.<br />
<br />
Every single nook and cranny of this part of town reminds me of her. Every single day when I go to work it's like pouring salt into wounds.<br />
<br />
Not sure how to fix it. Not sure how to fix anything.<br />
<br />
But anyways, back to the topic. I seriously am pretty damn lovable, and I promise that I'll catch you if you let yourself fall...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10807072237172210759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16302302.post-88465516796907776832014-05-13T14:37:00.000-05:002014-05-13T14:37:55.734-05:00It's the same...only differentAbout this time seven years ago, someone who had walked out on me reappeared in my life rather miraculously. Folks who have been around for some time, know what it was like for me to reunite with someone who is truly my soulmate (just not the house, two kids and a golden retriever kind of soulmate) and rekindle our friendship like we had never been apart. There have been lots of tears and laughs over the past seven years, and it's hard to believe that we've known each other since 1997, because I can tell you almost every detail of the day we met like it was yesterday. And I -- this will shock you -- was pretty not sober the day we met. I was wearing a plaid flannel shirt (it was the 90s, I was in college and loved bands from Seattle) that day. We were standing by a fish tank in a house in Dayton, Ohio, talking about how much we hated John Engler. Of course, we had to be lifelong friends. <br />
<br />
And we have been for the most part. I adored him, and I thought we'd be married and have kids, because I thought we were that kind of soulmates. And, had he not been gay, I am 99 percent sure we would have been. Of course, that sticky little point led to a lot of problems between us and a lot of heartache for both of us. He, because he couldn't love me and didn't feel like he could tell me why; and I, because I loved him with my entire heart and didn't understand what I was doing wrong and why things weren't going the way I thought they were supposed to.<br />
<br />
Ultimately, rather than tell me why things weren't working, he disappeared off the face of the earth. It was before cell phones, but landlines were disconnected and emails bounced back. My belongings that were in his possession were returned to me unceremoniously in a box in the mail with no return address and no explanation.<br />
<br />
Sparing you all the gory details, I will say this is not a good way to leave someone who likes to blame herself for all the world's problems. It took me a long time to recover, and as I sit here right now going through a similar situation and feeling all the same feelings of rejection, negative self worth and blame, I am wondering if things are ever really OK.<br />
<br />
Before I moved to Nashville, I was riding in the car with my mother and my aunts from Detroit back to Ohio. I was sitting in the back seat, when I looked over and saw his car next to us. When he passed us, I saw that he had Georgia plates, and I remembered that the last time I saw him he told me that he was going to move to Atlanta when his parents retired to their property in East Tennessee. I told him this story when I found him later, and he never saw me that day. Oh, and did I mention that I-75 is one of the largest roadways in the United States? When you think about it that way, seeing him that day had to be a miracle.<br />
<br />
When I moved to Nashville, I knew he lived in Atlanta from that encounter on the highway. I knew his parents lived outside Chattanooga because he had shown me their retirement property. At a friend's urging, I looked them up and reached out to them. They gave him the letter I wrote to them, and he contacted me. And I will never forget that day I came home to Carol's house and saw an envelope with his handwriting on it on the kitchen counter, mostly because it was a day that I never thought I would see. I thought he hated me. <br />
<br />
So, let's fast forward to 2014. If you have been following me since February, you know that I found myself in a very unexpected relationship that I believe ended because the other person involved couldn't reconcile her feelings about me with how she thought she was supposed to feel. Throughout our relationship she kept telling me that she was crazy about me but it was complicated and she would explain it, but she never did.<br />
<br />
Sound familiar?<br />
<br />
Anyhow, we tried to be friends and I thought we were doing pretty well with it, but ultimately she declared our friendship "awkward" and walked away with no more explanation than that.<br />
<br />
I should've been getting a sense of deja vu about the whole thing, but I was too busy being sad that someone I cared about so much was walking away from me. I have also spent a lot of time trying to figure out what I did wrong to make someone go from loving me and being crazy about me to completely discounting my existence as a human being, deleting (and/or blocking) me from all aspects of her life and treating me rather cruelly. It's so odd, because I never would've imagined myself in this situation, and at the time I didn't feel like our relationship was so big, but this is a lot more painful than I ever thought it would be.<br />
<br />
And then last night, I was telling someone who told me he had no gay friends the story of me and Mike. And then it hit me.<br />
<br />
When Mike walked away (also because he couldn't reconcile his relationship with me with his sexuality), I never thought I would see him again. I blamed myself because I didn't know the truth. All I knew was that I didn't know how I could go on without my best friend in my life anymore.<br />
<br />
But then, several years later, once he and I were both in better places, God had him drive past me on one of the busiest and largest interstate highways in the world. And, not long after that, we were finishing each others' sentences again. Yeah, it's different now, but all I really wanted was to have my friend in my life, and I do. And it's exactly what God always intended for us.<br />
<br />
And nowadays, it's easier. I've had the same phone number for 15 years. You can pretty much google anyone and find them. And as easy as she blocked me on all that social media, she could unblock me.<br />
<br />
Well, I take that back. Contacting someone when you're ready is easier. But getting there is still a big, giant pain in the ass that requires tons of work. And prayer. Everyone just pray that I will heal and she will find her way in life. In times like this, it's good to remember the words of Mother Teresa: "I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much."<br />
<br />Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10807072237172210759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16302302.post-41090617331126756962014-05-02T10:37:00.002-05:002014-05-02T10:37:57.859-05:00RealizationsI think I might need to rename this blog, "I go to therapy so you don't have to!" This has been a week of stress, heartache, sadness, and -- perhaps most importantly -- self-reflection and realization. Expect to hear a little bit more about self care in the future.<br />
<br />
I don't have much time to write at this minute. It's the busiest week of my year at work, and I did not need someone to upset my apple cart but being a jerk earlier this week. While I didn't have time for grief and loss, I have spent all my free time realizing a lot about myself and the behavior of others.<br />
<br />
I have learned a few things this week. I learned that when you love someone that it's OK to let them walk away. While it hurt for me to be released from their lives, I also learned that they needed me to release them, too. They need to work on themselves and focus on what they want and where they are going before we could figure out where -- if anywhere -- we are going together. As I said earlier today, "Someone will always have a place in my heart, but she will need to seriously man up before she can have a place in my life again." And I meant it.<br />
<br />
At the same time, pushing me away doesn't make your problems lessen, it just pushes them away and you don't have your support system. Severing ties with me will not make you love your husband, put food on the table, make you straight or help your children behave. All it does is postpone the inevitable, and now you don't have your biggest cheerleader there to help you and cheer you on.<br />
<br />
My heart hurts, but I will be OK. I have plenty of people who do love me and who are there for me. All I can do now is pray that everyone else finds the same thing for themselves.<br />
<br />
Take care of yourself. It's the best thing you can do. And maybe running away and hiding from reality is how you do that for a while. Just don't make it a habit, OK?Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10807072237172210759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16302302.post-69479366114664529102014-02-23T18:54:00.002-06:002014-02-23T19:10:21.563-06:00Katy Perry kissed a girl...and no one caredThis is probably the most real that you will ever see me be.<br />
<br />
And I am scared to death, but I firmly believe that the ability to tell your story makes you a better writer. And sometimes you have to bare your soul to do that.<br />
<br />
A few months ago, a friend mentioned that her life was going too well and it was making it difficult to write. I chuckled, but she’s probably on to something. Hemingway was a raging alcoholic (sadly, many writers are), F. Scott Fitzgerald probably gaslighted his beloved Zelda, and Sylvia Plath stuck her head in an oven. Tortured souls are not few in writing. And, while I would never have the balls to compare my writing or life experiences to theirs, I guess maybe angst and writing go hand-in-hand. Or, maybe it’s something in our personalities that make us writers in the first place. I’ve said many times that I have no idea what I would do if I couldn’t write anymore.<br />
<br />
But this story isn’t about writing. This story is about a recent stop on my life’s journey. I almost said “detour,” but I think detour implies that it was a path you didn’t want to take. While it wasn’t a path I ever thought I would choose, I am glad that I took it. And even though part of me feels colossally stupid right now, I know that I will look back later on and realize that this was all part of the route my life was supposed to take. <br />
<br />
I debated whether or not I should tell you all. After all, my heart was completely and totally ripped out of my chest this past weekend, so it doesn’t even matter anymore.<br />
<br />
Except maybe it does. I could say that I am doing it to help just one other person who is struggling with the same situation, and that would be all nice and make us all feel good. But really, I think that no one should have to be ashamed of the person they love, and I am pretty sure that if I ever find out why I got dumped, that will be the reason. <br />
<br />
I will never forget the first time I saw her. She had the most beautiful, big brown eyes, and the most perfect smile you will ever see, even with the gap between her two front teeth. She was with her grandson, although I found it very hard to believe that she was old enough to be a grandmother. While I was instantly struck by her beauty, I was also smitten with her intelligence, her kindness, and her sense of humor. She also has the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met, and maybe that’s a good thing and a bad thing. She was someone I wanted to be friends with, but I instantly felt like we connected on a deeper level.<br />
<br />
I will spare you all the details, but I will tell you this was very new territory and I never felt scared with her. In fact, I’ve never felt safer than when I was with her. Have you ever kissed someone and not known where your body ended and the other person’s began? That’s how it was. We were both wild about each other, and we had to keep pinching ourselves to make sure we weren’t dreaming. We did a lot of romantic stuff, but we did a lot of stuff that friends would do like going shopping for shoes in the middle of the night on Black Friday. <br />
<br />
It was complicated. She had a husband, and I understood that he came first. I liked him, and he liked me. We both wanted her to be happy. I had no illusions that we would live happily ever after, although I did ask her one night if something happened to him would she want to get married, and she didn’t even have to think about it. <br />
<br />
So, maybe I was foolish to think it could go anywhere. All I know is that being in this situation turned my life upside down. Was I OK with this, and what would I do if people found out? I decided, also perhaps quite naively, that I didn’t care. The only thing that was important to me was having her in my life. <br />
<br />
I don’t know what went wrong. She got a new job, and she was working insane hours. She was stressed out, and she told me that she pushes people away when she gets stressed. But at some point, I realized that she was shutting me out for whatever reason. And now, things aren’t good anymore. In fact, they’re about as awful as they could be. We had a horrible fight on a few weeks ago, and I’m pretty sure that she’ll never talk to me again. So, if I wasn’t sure what I’d done to make her stop loving me before, I guess I know now. Maybe it’s better, because now I have a reason for her to hate me.<br />
<br />
While it’s over and only about four people in the whole world even knew about it (although there may have been more because my roommate says we were incapable of looking like straight people when we hugged), I feel like I need to share this part of my journey. Am I gay now? No, I still like men. Very much so. I don’t even know that I would call myself bi, because don’t think that I would ever seek out another woman to date. What I realized was that no matter whether you call yourself gay, straight, bi, whatever – you don’t choose the person you love. If you do, you’re doing it wrong, and you’re probably missing out.<br />
<br />
I don’t even know at this point if my friendship with this amazing woman can be salvaged. I hope that it can, but I apologized for being an asshole and left that ball firmly in her court. Ironically, now that she’s told me that she just wants to be friends and stopped sending me mixed signals (which has been our dance for the last month or so), I would be OK with just being friends. In fact, I told a friend last week that I think I just do better when I only have platonic relationships anyhow. However, I was not nice, and I won’t be surprised if I never hear from her again.<br />
<br />
Would I go back and take a different path if I had the chance? Not anything except when she started to shut me out, I would have had more of a conversation about it (because I didn’t realize she was friendzoning me; I thought she was just pushing me away to deal with stress), and I never, ever would have fought with her last weekend. I wouldn’t have never met her, or never gone out with her, or never fallen in love with her. I treasure every minute that we’ve had, even if we never see each other again.<br />
<br />
Maybe someone will read this and have the courage to look for love in unexpected places. Maybe someone will read this and have the courage to come out. Maybe someone will read this and have the courage to deal with their own issues about their sexuality instead of hurting his or her partner. Maybe someone will just have the courage to talk to his or her partner instead of running away. After all, who would better know what you're going through? <br />
<br />
And, maybe just maybe, someone will read this and realize that no one really chooses who they fall in love with and that it’s not our place to speculate or judge about what happens behind closed doors.<br />
<br />
Whatever your journey, I hope it’s the ride of your life.<br />
<br />
Song of the day: <a href="http://youtu.be/hlVBg7_08n0" target="_blank">“Same Love” by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis.</a><br />
<br />
(Sidebar: The title of this post comes from the fact that <a href="http://gawker.com/does-anybody-care-that-katy-perry-kissed-miley-cyrus-on-1529277278" target="_blank">Katy Perry kissed Miley Cyrus this past weekend</a>. On the lips. In front of tens of thousands of people in the Staples Center. And no one seemed to care. The times they are a' changin', folks.)Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10807072237172210759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16302302.post-60369453615468938402014-02-02T20:32:00.001-06:002014-02-02T20:36:13.717-06:00Worth repeatingEven though I am a writer, I have never been much for poetry. I'm more of a prose person, and I tend to prefer nonfiction over fiction.<br />
<br />
However, about seven years ago, I wrote this poem. A guy I liked totally shot me down, partly because we were too different. Here I sit now, in a different time and in a different situation, and this time no one will tell me what I did wrong, just "I wasn't feeling it anymore. I don't know what to tell you."<br />
<br />
I have always been the type of person who wants to be friends with someone first. So my attempts at dating always end up going horribly wrong because most people aren't wired like me. And then I take it poorly because I have lost a friend that I would do anything for.<br />
<br />
This time it wasn't just me falling for a friend, I was pretty sure the friend fell for me too. I guess not enough to stop "feeling it" at some point. Regardless, right now I feel hurt, stupid and embarrassed because I totally got mixed signals and made a complete and total ass of myself. Plus, I am losing someone who had been my rock and was there for me more times than you can even imagine. I would probably still be sitting in Orlando crying about the Disney thing if she hadn't called to check on me.<br />
<br />
That was a lot of lead in to revisit this poem. After eight years and a lot of different experiences, we could probably change the lines a little bit here and there. But I didn't. The main message is still the same. I'll keep praying that some day I'll find someone who thinks I'm worth keeping around.<br />
<br />
Maybe someday ...<br /><br />I'll be thin enough.<br />I'll be pretty enough.<br />I'll be funny enough.<br />I'll be smart enough.<br />I won't be too young.<br />I won't be too old.<br />I won't be too liberal.<br />Or maybe I'll be liberal enough.<br /><br />Maybe I won't be too loud.<br />Maybe I won't talk too much.<br />Maybe I'll speak up when I need to say something.<br />Maybe I won't be flaky.<br />Maybe I'll take myself less seriously.<br />Maybe I won't drink too much.<br />Maybe I'll cuss less.<br />Maybe I'll go to church more.<br />Maybe I'll be in the right place at the right time.<br /><br />Maybe I'll just take life by the balls.<br />Maybe someone else will, just in case I can't.<br /><br />Maybe, just once, I'll be worth it.<br />
Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10807072237172210759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16302302.post-19679910338137957202014-01-15T15:36:00.001-06:002014-01-15T15:36:13.738-06:00SidenoteJust a quick sidenote to let you that it appears I may have been hasty in predicting 2014 to be "the best year yet." So far, it's failing miserably to live up to that proclamation.<br />
<br />
I might tell you more later. I focused on the Disney thing today because that's the only thing that made me cry at therapy today. I also tried a new hot dog next door, so that was awesome.<br />
<br />
Song of the day: Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus. (No, I am not linking to it because the video frightens me. It also frightens me that my life this week can best be summed up by a Miley Cyrus song, but sometimes bad things happen to good people.)Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10807072237172210759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16302302.post-6214534825734106022014-01-15T14:25:00.000-06:002014-01-15T14:25:10.658-06:00The Run Disney Fiasco(This is officially the longest post ever in the history of a blog. It's also something that I am really mostly writing to be cathartic. God bless you if you attempt to read it, but please don't think any less of me if you do. Thanks.) <br />
<br />
I am not sure if I mentioned it here, but my running trip to Walt Disney World in October ended up being a giant fiasco, and I ended up not getting to complete the race. Only a few folks in the whole world knew the whole story because it was embarrassing. Until now. I really feel like I need to share my story because I really need to get all of the information out there about what happened. This week, as I was planning a non-running trip to Disney later in the year, I started to have anxiety about it. Even though I am not running, I still have negative feelings associated with what happened, and I still worry that The Happiest Place on Earth just might not meet my expectations on future visits.<br />
<br />
I don't want to bad-mouth Disney. For the most part, their customer service always exceeds expectations. They do so much to make sure each and every guest to their properties has an exceptional experience. But, that can be a blessing and a curse, because that is why I am so pissed off about the whole situation.<br />
<br />
A few days after the fiasco happened, I sent this letter to Disney. A few weeks after that, I received a package in the mail with a race shirt that I will probably never be able to fit into, a necklace and a pin. I never did get my medal, but the biggest issue with this package was that there was no accompanying documentation. No letter, no note, nothing. I'm assuming I was given some swag because they felt bad for me after the fiasco, but there wasn't even a post-it note with a frowny face to let me know that anyone cared.<br />
<br />
I needed someone to let me know that they heard my concerns. I would've preferred that person apologize, maybe have offered me a discount to try another race later. That doesn't cost them anything. After all, they got my $130 registration fee, not to mention hundreds of dollars in souvenirs, tickets, freaking waters all day long on race day, etc., for a race that never happened. But, perhaps most importantly, I want to know that nothing like this will ever happen to me again at Walt Disney World, and that nothing like this will ever happen to another human being at Walt Disney World. No one should have to go through what I did.<br />
<br />
I am not going to rehash what happened. I hope no one will judge me for what you are about to read. I have made my peace with what I did in this story. I am sharing it so you can see my account and the information that was relayed to Disney. Perhaps you'll even think that I am justified in being upset that I didn't receive any feedback from what I told them.<br />
<br />
I think that's my biggest issue here. Companies all over the world train their employees to be more like Disney. If you've ever been to a Disney park, you know that it is a well-choreographed spectacle designed to provide exceptional customer service. It isn't even really the actions of the original employee who yelled at me and intimidated me that bother me at this point, it's the fact that I feel like this company that is known for it's top-notch customer service has completely and totally dropped the ball on guest relations here.<br />
<br />
<br />
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<br />
<div class="contact-info-box">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Oct. 10, 2013</span></div>
<div class="contact-info-box">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">RunDisney<br />
Walt Disney World<br />
<span class="contact-info-box-copy">P.O. Box 10000</span><br />
<span class="contact-info-box-copy">Lake Buena Vista, FL 32830 </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To whom it may concern: </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On Saturday, I was scheduled to run in the Tower of Terror
10-miler, but I was unable to participate. I wanted to share some feedback from
the event in hopes that changes can be made in the future so that what happened
to me does not occur again. And while my situation was disappointing and
embarrassing, most Disney cast members did what they could to ensure that my
visit to Walt Disney World met my expectations. A few even went above and
beyond and deserve to be commended, which I will do later in this letter.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We started our trip at the Expo at ESPN Wide World of
Sports. While it was busy, the lines moved more quickly than I expected and I
made some new friends while waiting for my bib and official merchandise. All of
the cast members and volunteers at the Expo were great, and the experience even
convinced my family members who were with me – my brother, aunt and
four-year-old nephew -- to try a Run Disney race in the future! I also
appreciated the tips to get ready for the race the next day, and I tried to
follow them as religiously as possible.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Unfortunately, that is where I ran into trouble. Because of
the race-day heat advisory, I took special care to remain properly hydrated for
the race. This might have been OK had there not been traffic that turned the
normal 11-minute commute from the hotel to ESPN WWOS into over an hour commute.
This might have been OK if I had known there would be no restroom facilities
available at ESPN or if at least six people – including cast members,
volunteers and the bus driver – hadn’t told me that I would be allowed to use
the bathroom on the bus. Because after drinking all that water and being stuck
in traffic, I really needed a bathroom break, and the bathrooms on the bus were
locked. When I got to Hollywood Studios and spotted the lines for the
porta-potties (at least 40 people in each line), I knew there was no way I
could make it, so I went up to the first cast member I saw (whose name I did
not get). I told her that I had to use the restroom emergently and that
everyone at ESPN had told me I could go on the bus and it was locked and if I
didn’t get to a bathroom very soon, I was going to have an accident and not be
able to race. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That cast member pointed at two porta-potties behind a tent
and told me just to go over and use them because there was no wait and I
wouldn’t miss the race. I took off as quickly as I could and headed over to
those restrooms. However, as I am on my way over there I hear someone yelling
and realize he is yelling at me. A cast member named Pat from North Miami
stopped me and told me that I could not be in this area because it was only for
cast members and volunteers. I then explained my situation and told him that a
cast member sent me over here to use the restroom. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I will be the first to admit that I was not behaving as the
ideal Disney guest at this point. I was in the throes of having a panic attack
and I know I yelled at him and probably used poor language. I was desperate and
upset and on the verge of having an accident right there in the parking lot. I
had been training for eight months and all I could see was the failure and
disappointment of not completing this race. He got upset with me and wouldn’t
let me through. He told me I had to wait in the line with everyone else, not
understanding that I didn’t have time to do that. When he got upset with me and
raised his voice, it scared me and because I already had to go to the bathroom,
I wet myself. No way could I run with wet pants for ten miles, so I just asked
a team member to put me on a bus that would take me back to ESPN and gave up on
my dream to complete the race. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know he was just
doing his job, but every single other cast member went out of their way to make
sure I that I was able to participate in the race. After I had my accident and
went back on the bus to ESPN so my brother could pick me up, the cast members
there even offered to get me a shower and find some shorts so that I could run,
but by then I was so upset that I didn’t have the mental energy to run. When
you look at that example, what would it have hurt for him to escort me over to
the restroom so that I wouldn’t have wet myself and been unable to complete the
race, especially after another cast member had sent me over there to use the
restroom?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After spending hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars and
dragging my family to Orlando, not to mention logging months of training, so I
could do this race, it was very disheartening that this happened. First of all,
I felt like Pat could have had a little more compassion. It didn’t hurt any of
the other team members to be kind. They all understood how hard I worked and
wanted me to complete the race as much as I did. But mostly, I think it is
important in the future to have a few porta-potties at ESPN before people get
on the bus, as well. Honestly, if so many people hadn’t told me that I could
use the bathroom on the bus, I would have found a way to go beforehand, because
completing this race meant a lot to me. I also probably would’ve stopped
somewhere to go if I would have realized that a) there were no restroom
facilities until the starting-line porta-potties (those always have lines) or
b) that the last bus didn’t really leave at 8 p.m. sharp. In fact, when I left
ESPN at 9 p.m., there were still people boarding the buses. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The whole situation was a comedy of errors and fraught with
miscommunication. Like I said, there were some cast members who did hate to see
me miss out and did want to make the situation right, including an ESPN cast
member named Jamie and a Run Disney cast member named Megan (Jamie said Megan
was the onsite manager for the event). Megan tried to find whatever solution
she could so that I could run and even offered to mail me my medal when I told
her that I just didn’t think I could mentally regroup in time. Except for being
unable to run the race (which was a huge negative), our trip went well and so
many great cast members provided us with a stellar experience. But I know that
lots of folks participate in the races and I feel like I need to offer feedback
that can help you improve in the future.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Most likely, I will be back for another Run Disney race. It
is a big expense, and I am not sure when I will have the money to do it again,
but it is something that I hope to experience in my lifetime. I am very sad
that I missed the whole thing when I see the photos on the RunDisney website
and when I saw everyone walking around Sunday in their medals and shirts. I
should’ve been there with them! While I did not get the whole experience, which
was unfortunate because Hollywood Studios is my favorite park and I really was
looking forward to running there, Jamie and Megan did work hard to make sure
that I didn’t go home with hurt feelings and I truly appreciate that. I just
wish that all cast members had been so understanding so that the situation
never happened in the first place.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hopefully you will take this letter to heart and use my
feedback when planning future RunDisney events.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thank you for your time. If you would like to contact me to
follow up or with any questions, my information is below. </div>
Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10807072237172210759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16302302.post-36050752821585530452014-01-03T15:27:00.001-06:002014-01-03T15:27:21.574-06:00BlockedSo, I have pages and pages of notes and, not surprisingly, I do not have pages and pages of a magazine feature article. I do not have pages at all. What I have is writer's block. Even with my deadline in less than two hours (although not really, because my boss is out until Tuesday), I have writer's block. Maybe the illusion of an extended deadline has not caused the fear and panic to set in. (Sidebar: remind me sometime to tell you about the new Bridget Jones book, which is, of course, just more proof that I am a Darcy-less, American version of Bridget Jones.)<br />
<br />
When writers are blocked, we're supposed to go find a prompt and just write about something. Just write and see if anything worth saving comes out. I'll apologize in advance because that's what you're -- as we say here in the South -- fixin' to read. I have a book of prompts shaped like a square called The Writer's Block (how clever) that used to sit on my desk for such occasions, but I took it home a few years ago when our former boss went on a tear and we all cleaned out our offices out of fear that we were about to be canned. Thank god for the internet.<br />
<br />
So, thanks to our new friends at a website for bloggers called <a href="http://dailypost.wordpress.com/category/daily-prompts/" target="_blank">The Daily Post </a>(with an assist from our pals at Google), here is the prompt I am going to write about.<br />
<br />
<h2 class="title">
<a href="http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/01/03/daily-prompt-truth/" rel="bookmark" title="Permanent Link to Daily Prompt: Truth or Dare">Truth or Dare</a>
</h2>
<strong>Is it possible to be <em>too</em> honest, or is honesty always the best policy?</strong><br />
<br />
For those of you who are not new here, you know that I don't lie. I don't have the energy to navigate the webs that are woven when folks start telling lies and covering their tracks. I don't have the brainpower to negotiate alternate versions of reality in my mind. What you see with me is 100 percent what you get. No fibs. No lies. No alternate realities.<br />
<br />
I don't believe you can be too honest, but I do believe that folks can be too direct with their candor. There is always a way to be tactful and respectful even when telling the truth. I don't believe in being deliberately hurtful, but I do believe that honesty is the best policy.<br />
<br />
Sometimes you might ask me a hard question, and it might take me a while to answer. I won't lie (duh). If the truth is unpleasant, I might try to find a way to avoid sharing it. Or I might be slowing down so I can minimize the collateral damage of what I'm about to say as much as possible. Other times, though, I can be a total straight-shooter and almost honest to a fault. I guess being honest and valuing honesty is a blessing and a curse.<br />
<br />
I just don't like lies. When I catch someone lying (and news to those who like to fib: you almost always get caught, even if you don't get called out on it), I lose a little bit of respect for them. Sometimes, the lie is big enough that I am just done. But often, because I am a good person, I will give the person a second chance. But every single time I catch someone in a lie, it erodes our friendship just a little bit more. And a lot of times, I wake up one day and they say something that I know isn't true and it's just it. And because I hate breaking up with anyone -- even on a friend level -- I either just disappear or just start fading them out little by little.<br />
<br />
So yes, in my world -- if you'd like to be in my world, that is -- it's best not to lie. Of course, sometimes I wonder if this is why my world seems to get smaller on a daily basis. But you'll have that, I guess.<br />
<br />
And seriously, if you do like to fib, make shit up, lie pathologically, whatever the kids are calling it these days, how do you even keep up with all that? I would be exhausted.<br />
<br />
In fact, I am just thinking about it. Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10807072237172210759noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16302302.post-76670211993930182282013-11-21T11:26:00.000-06:002013-11-21T11:26:08.393-06:00ExhaustingLife has been exhausting lately.<br />
<br />
Explaining myself. Explaining stupid shit that grown adults with half a brain should know. Running around like a lunatic, literally spending about four waking hours per week at my home. Dealing with things in my life that are all kinds of new. Having a sleep disorder. Christmas in Toyland.<br />
<br />
It's all very exhausting.<br />
<br />
My mind never stops. Work is wearing on me. Life is wearing on me.<br />
<br />
I don't even have time to sign up for the gym, let alone actually go there and get on a treadmill.<br />
<br />
Yet, in some ways, I really am putting myself first. I know that sounds hard to believe.<br />
<br />
Despite the exhaustion, I am happy. For the first time in a really long time, I feel safe and loved.<br />
<br />
I get to spend Christmas with my entire family -- all my brothers and their wives and children. I am beyond excited, and fully expect flames to come out of my Toys R Us credit card sometime between now and Dec. 24.<br />
<br />
I keep saying that the year coming up will be my year. This time I might actually be serious.<br />
<br />
At this rate, I have a feeling that might be even more exhausting.<br />
<br />
Stay tuned, folks. I promise that it will be great.Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10807072237172210759noreply@blogger.com0