Does anybody read these?

Realizations

I think I might need to rename this blog, "I go to therapy so you don't have to!" This has been a week of stress, heartache, sadness, and -- perhaps most importantly -- self-reflection and realization. Expect to hear a little bit more about self care in the future.

I don't have much time to write at this minute. It's the busiest week of my year at work, and I did not need someone to upset my apple cart but being a jerk earlier this week. While I didn't have time for grief and loss, I have spent all my free time realizing a lot about myself and the behavior of others.

I have learned a few things this week. I learned that when you love someone that it's OK to let them walk away. While it hurt for me to be released from their lives, I also learned that they needed me to release them, too. They need to work on themselves and focus on what they want and where they are going before we could figure out where -- if anywhere -- we are going together. As I said earlier today, "Someone will always have a place in my heart, but she will need to seriously man up before she can have a place in my life again." And I meant it.

At the same time, pushing me away doesn't make your problems lessen, it just pushes them away and you don't have your support system. Severing ties with me will not make you love your husband, put food on the table, make you straight or help your children behave. All it does is postpone the inevitable, and now you don't have your biggest cheerleader there to help you and cheer you on.

My heart hurts, but I will be OK. I have plenty of people who do love me and who are there for me. All I can do now is pray that everyone else finds the same thing for themselves.

Take care of yourself. It's the best thing you can do. And maybe running away and hiding from reality is how you do that for a while. Just don't make it a habit, OK?

posted by Laura at 10:37 AM