Does anybody read these?

Friday, April 15, 2016

Let's get physical!

Let's start with a random fact about me. When I was in kindergarten, "Physical" by Olivia Newton John was my favorite song. I had no idea what it meant, obviously, but I thought it had something to do with fitness because the video looked like a Jane Fonda tape...Kind of.

Now, let's fast forward -- ahem -- 30-some years to today. I was walking into my training class with my little lunch pail and notebook (like I was in grade school, if we want to continue our flashback). The office plaza where the learning center is happens to be beautiful. It has a pond with a fountain with a little patio area and picnic tables nearby. Offices have lots of windows to see the view. Lots of glass windows. Windows that act like mirrors in the early morning sun.

Do you see where I'm going with this?

So I happen to glance over into a wall full of windows and see my reflection. I'm short and dumpy and way too fat. It was a very unflattering look. I was not excited to see it.

Now, before you say that we are our own worst critics, bear with me here. This is not necessarily a bad thing. And not in an unhealthy way. 

I'll explain.

I keep wondering if my appearance is causing me to not get jobs. It shouldn't because I am pretty qualified. But it might. Maybe I don't have the look they expect for someone in my field, even when the person hiring me looks like a hot mess. Seriously, I've gone into a few interviews, looked at the person responsible for making the decision and thought: Surely this person won't rule me out for my looks. Surely. But yet, I'm wrong. 

I'm not getting into any fat-shaming, self-hating conversation here. I've worked way too hard to build my self-esteem for that. But I'm also a realist. And it's not like I don't want to improve anyhow. After all, this is Project Old Lady Learns Stuff. So maybe old lady needs to learn how to get to the gym and work out again.

I have to go. Following a relatively set out food plan is not seeing any results without it. (I'm still not buying that 80 percent nutrition, 20 percent fitness equation so many people tout as reality.) I need to do a half marathon anyhow. I want to go do another Disney race. I'd like to do the Detroit half-marathon again. So, it's time. 

Just thought I would share this. Maybe words on a page will make me more accountable. Worst case scenario, I've got a few months of unemployment and I  have plenty to keep me busy. Or I can just take a job while I work on having the look that my career wants me to have. 

Who knows? Maybe it did help me to have someone fat-shaming me at every turn.

Just kidding. That shit got old, and it totally made me stress eat. 

See you at the gym. 

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