Does anybody read these?

So, today's the day...

I'm a mess today. An absolute mess. I have to leave here in a little over an hour to go have my tooth surgery, and I'm a mess.

I know it's just a tooth. My mom keeps saying that it'll be less painful and traumatic than my getting my wisdom teeth removed. After all, there were three of them, and this is ONE tooth.

I beg to differ. My wisdom teeth were not fused to my jaw bone, and did not have to be cut off of it, with what I'm assuming will be a very sharp knife.

I also have the world's biggest fear of the dentist that you have ever seen. I am terrified of the dentist. Luckily I've had some really great dentists who deal the best they can, but that doesn't really make me want to cry any less. A few years ago, I had an awful root canal and somehow the dentist (who'd been warned of my dental fear) felt that it would be appropriate to scream at me for crying. He said I was scaring the other patients. (His screaming didn't help, I'm sure.) And to be fair, I did scream that day. But he did hit the nerve (which was not as dead as he thought, apparently) with the drill. You'd scream too; admit it. He hit the nerve. I screamed. He yelled. I cried. He yelled more. I cried more. It was the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

So, here I am, heading to the oral surgeon today. I'm scared to death. I'm scared about them cutting something out of my mouth. I'm scared about how long it'll take me to recuperate. I'm scared about not having a tooth for who-knows-how-long, and I'm scared of how I'm going to pay for all these shenanigans.

I keep trying to chicken out, but I can't because dental insurance sucks. So I have to get the tooth taken out on my 2006 insurance claim so that I can get my replacement (whatever that may be) on my 2007 claim. Apparently dental insurance has had the same benefits cap -- $1,000 -- since the 1970s. That'll cover half of this. God forbid I want to get my teeth cleaned anytime after all this.

I just want to cry. I'm grumpy because I haven't been able to eat since midnight last night. I just want a damn cup of coffee. I'm worried because I have to take my contacts out for the surgery and my glasses are broken. I never feel more vulnerable than when I can't see. Well, that and when I'm trapped in a dentist's chair. Yay, banner day!

Aside from venting about how scared I am about all this, I guess the purpose of this post was to let you all know that I'll check in when I can. I'll have free time, but I'm hoping to be hopped up on pain-killers, so I'll hardly be articulate. (That being said, if you see craziness here, just write it off to the drugs.)

So, I'll see you as soon as it's safe to write again. I'm sure I'll have plenty to bitch about.

posted by Laura at 10:45 AM