Does anybody read these?

Monday, November 05, 2007


(I found this post in my dashboard, and it never got published. I figured I'd post it now, so that people could see that this didn't have anything to do with Will, and it's been a very long time coming.)

I feel like my life is in limbo right now. I'm not sure what to do about it.

There are just some things that I'm not sure how to deal with right now.

I've been kinda-sorta looking for a new place to live, but nothing's really blown my skirt up. I should probably stand up for myself, but I get the feeling that's not acceptable where I live. So, I just stew and try to find something that might be a solution, all the while realizing that it's not the best time of year for me to be thinking about moving.

I found a place over the weekend. It'd be my own bathroom, which would be nice. There's just not enough room in our tiny bathroom for three people. It'd also be nice to live in an apartment where if the faucet started to drip or the tub clogged up, you just call the office and they send someone to fix it. That's one of the benefits of renting that I really miss these days.

Maybe it'd help to say something. Maybe I should just be a pussy and move without dealing with it. I don't know anymore, but something's got to give.

I'm also having an issue that's been kind of on-going, but it's nothing that I can't just put into the back of my mind because it happens so infrequently. You know the deal: You have a friend; you introduce that friend to one of your friends; they become friends; and then you get lost in the shuffle. I have this group of friends where this has happened. When they all gather in Nashville, which happens a few times a year, sometimes they invite me along and other times they tell me that they have no plans and then slip up and accidentally mention something from which I was excluded. Most of the time, though, I just sit there and am ignored while they have a grand old time. One time I went somewhere with them, and another of my friends pointed out that from the pictures and their commentary that she didn't even realize I was there. Yeah, imagine being the person who is there feeling that way. It blows.

Anyhow, I guess what I'm getting at is that it's just about time for all of them to gather here in Nashville for one of my best friend's birthdays. Now, I am pretty sure from all that I've mentioned that I know my place in the pecking order regarding friends. I've made my peace with that. When it's just the two of us, we have lots of great adventures here. When it's all of us, I am the gum stuck to the bottom of their shoes.

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