Does anybody read these?

Not so hooteriffic

Sorry about totally bailing on NaBloPoMo. I just got busy with the holidays, but you all told me this would happen. I am trying to keep up the best I can. Luckily most of my work projects are done and it's quiet around here.

Perhaps it's so quiet that no one noticed that our lunch took two hours today? I hope so, but I'm still pissed that we couldn't even get dessert.

When I first started working here, one of the girls in the office went to Hooters every Tuesday with the guy who worked on our computers. Not long after I arrived, he got canned. And while we don't go every Tuesday, I have picked up his slack and accompany her to Hooters. It doesn't hurt that I love Daytona wings like it's my job.

Every year, we go to lunch at Hooters right before Christmas. We call this lunch our "Hooters Holiday Extravaganza." We go, have lunch, exchange gifts. Fun times. The last two years we've gathered up others from the office to join us. Our only two rules are: You're not allowed to share a dessert (you have to eat the whole thing), but sharing of fried pickles is highly encouraged. Whatever we end up eating, it always ends up being a lot of fun.

I got hooked on Hooters' food back when I had a friend who worked for them. Everything tastes great, and they really do buy their food from quality sources. Their seafood is actually pretty awesome. And most of the girls there are pretty sweet.

However, I will not lie and say there are not challenges to bringing your own hooters to Hooters. While some waitress are a lot of fun and treat us like everyone else, others assume that because we aren't there to stare at their tits or try to touch their ass that we aren't going to tip as well as the horny businessmen. And that generally translates into shitty service.

Yet, the good times outweigh the bad and, in the past, the holiday extravaganza has gone off without a hitch. Today was a whole different story.

I don't know if our waitress was new or stupid or paid more attention to the guys. It was hard to make an assessment of someone who said about 4 words to us and we only saw three times in the two hours that we were there. Yes, I said two hours. And yes, we were on our lunch HOUR, not "hours." And that two hours was such a clusterfuck that we didn't even get dessert.

So, I am probably a little grumpy. You know how fat kids are when you don't let them have cake.

But, in addition to not being able to order dessert because of the slower-than-molasses service, we also had checks and meals that were completely and totally FUBAR, not to mention that I got overcharged because she told me the lunch special listed on the menu as Monday-Friday, 11-3, was only available on Friday. Once again, stupid? New? No one really knows...

I didn't want to tip her, but Shay said something about it being Christmas, so I felt bad. So I gave her 10 percent, but when you figure that she overcharged me by $3.20 plus tax, then really I probably gave her way too much money.

I wish my friend still worked for Hooters' corporate office, because I'd be calling her faster than you can say "disgruntled customer." But she doesn't. I looked through my e-mail to see if I still had her e-mail with the name and contact info for the owner of that particular Hooters (from the time they told me they didn't have Daytona wings), but I must've deleted it. I guess after four years of relatively good luck, I wasn't expecting such a horrific lunch there.

I guess it would piss me off less if we didn't still have one more week with our time-card Nazi boss who was waiting for us when we arrived back at the office (As far as I know, no one from our group got yelled at, but another group of late lunchers did.). Two hours isn't acceptable for lunch during the work day. And they weren't any busier than any other day when they get us in and out in an hour. Trust me, it's not that hard to make some wings and fries.

Plus I got overcharged. I think that pisses me off almost as much as being late to get back to work. I always go there and get the exact same thing, so I have no idea why the fries didn't come free with the wings today. Plus I got charged for blue cheese that never quite made it to the table, despite me asking for it twice before I gave up. But considering it took 45 minutes to get our checks, there was no way in hell I was questioning it. I didn't have another half hour to spare while she tried to figure it out.

I'm trying to decide if I should call the manager. I hesitate because they were not helpful during the Daytona wing fiasco of 2006. However, there's a lot of turnover in food service. It could be a different person now. I did leave a passive-aggressive comment on Twitter in which I tagged Hooters. I guess I would probably bitch if I thought it would help. But, at the end of the day, I'll probably still be overcharged and even more frustrated and grumpy than I already am.

Oh well, I guess I will stew on it until the lunch rush is over. I know better than to call a restaurant manager when they are busy.

At least I get to see Garth Brooks tonight. If I could figure out how to make my own Daytona wings, I'd probably just break up with Hooters, but I haven't quite figured it out yet.

posted by Laura at 1:36 PM