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Saturday, September 16, 2006

The work post...

Recently, I was accused of being a raging alcoholic who was incapable of holding down a job. That, of course, is BS, considering that I've only been drunk twice in the last six months. I'd think I'd have to try a little harder if I were a raging alcoholic, don't you?

The reason I mentioned that was because I'm beginning to wonder if work might be more tolerable if any part of me thought it was a good idea to drink to the point of numbness before I got there. But I don't. How would I even get there? I know this would be hard for someone who can't find Cool Springs to understand, but it'd be expensive to take a cab from Downtown everyday. And even more expensive to get a DUI...

So being drunk at work's out. Hmmmmmm... Well, let me tell the story.

Remember way back when I had the interview to be a district special events manager for a major retail chain? Well, obviously I didn't get that job, but they offered me the same position at the store level. Enter Cool Springs. And I figured that it'd be fine as long as the one person who was a total jack ass and highly unqualified from the group interview were not the person who got the district position.

Do you all appreciate the irony yet?

Anyhow, I'd always intended to work retail to help pay the bills while I was temping. I have no problem with it. I figured that I would pick up 20 hours a week or so and it'd pay for things like the light bill and life would be grand.

Except my "part-time" job expects me to be available 24/7 and live and die for them. And honestly, I've gotten to the point (when the manager handed me a 3-page to-do list for a four-hour shift) where I've realized that I'd really just like to be a mindless peon that runs the service desk. I don't want to be management. I don't aspire to be in retail forever. I just want to do it now to pay the bills. And once I get a "real" job, I want to do it to pay for my trip next fall. It'd be nice to have "mad money," and right now the only way I'll have that is with a second job. And actually right now it's not even "mad money," unless not being able to eat makes you mad. (It does, actually...)

So, MY plan was always to keep my days free for temp work and do retail in the evenings. I was honest and straight-forward with the district HR person when she recruited me. Since I got there, I have turned down two very good temp jobs. And every time I struggle to figure out where the car payment or the rent is coming from, I get really pissed off about that.

There are plenty of retail jobs out there. And yes, I like my job. And it does make logical sense for a PR person to do special events for a major retail chain. But it doesn't make sense for me to think I can live on $360 a week before taxes. Just for your knowledge of how little money that is, I talked to the student loan people this week and I don't have to pay my loans for a year because I don't meet their poverty threshhold. So that's good because that's one less bill. But bad because I'm so fucking poor I can't pay attention.

All I know is if I EVER ask my mother's sister to borrow rent money again, she said she is coming here with her truck and dragging my ass back to Ohio. And I'm not leaving Nashville.

I am trying to implement my plan. For the most part, I am doing OK with it. This is just a huge hiccup. And I didn't even mention the part about being jerked around by everyone, including that jack ass who beat me out in the group interview. (You KNEW he was the one who got the job. It couldn't have been the other folks...)

So, I'm frustrated with my job. Every day I go in there wondering if that'll be the day when I go to lunch and never come back. So far it hasn't happened, but the potential is definitely there...

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