Does anybody read these?

So, I think I'm just going to cry...

I haven't really been myself lately. I'll blame a little bit of it on the massive amount of drugs I've been taking. Or maybe the pain that I have when I can't take the drugs. Or maybe because I'm on the drugs I can't mask the pain with Crown Royal, like I'm so fond of doing. Or chocolate. Or Merle Haggard songs.

(Well, I could self-medicate with chocolate and Merle, but I did start my diet on Monday. Aside from running for two hours that day and eating breakfast, that's not going very well either.)

I'm probably hormonal, and I still haven't managed to find a new doctor, make an appointment and get back on the drugs that help with those imbalances. (God knows I don't need them for anything else. They're like a really expensive Tic-tac for PMS.)

So, I'm a tad bit melancholy. Of course, if you read my last post, you probably know that. If you've talked to me in the last week, you may have figured it out, too.

Aside from drugs and pain and realizing once again that men are only good for one thing (although, see above, because apparently for me they're not even good for that.), I'm also depressed because of something else that I haven't mentioned here yet. Andrea and Kay are the only people here who know. And quite frankly, I guess I probably hadn't mentioned it out loud because I wanted it to not be true. I'm very good at denial, in case you're new to my blog. (Also explains the whole man thing, but really I'm done with that for now.)

My beloved pup Sparky is missing. And I blame myself. And he's probably not coming back and all I want to do is cry.

Sparky has been with me since the day that I started this blog a year and a half ago. He wandered into my life suddenly, warmed up to me quickly and ultimately that's why he's gone. He was still staying at mom and dad's, although I debated bringing him back to Nashville when Dawson left our house. However, he helped dad with the farm, so he stayed there. I even tried again on Christmas, and dad wanted to keep him. Who could blame him? He's precious.

But apparently Sparky missed me as much as I missed him, because when I left Tuesday he followed my car to the end of the road. And no one's seen him since. I don't know if he's lost, stolen or if he's been hit by a car. I just know he's gone, and it's killing me because I'm 450 miles away and can't do anything.

And, that's just one more reason that I want to cry.

If I didn't have plans this evening, it would so be me, my new Merle Haggard CD, a bottle of Crown and a bag of Hershey's kisses huddled up in my bed.

And if y'all could pray for Sparky, wherever he may be, I'd really appreciate it.

posted by Laura at 12:19 PM