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Friday, February 16, 2007

Nashville Snark and parting gifts...

Last night was another boisterous evening at Nashville Star. First of all, I have a little snark for you.

Randy Owen's jacket makes me wish I was a contestant so I could get up there and sing "Black Velvet" and dedicate it to him.

Seriously, does the dude have a stylist?

In other wardrobe-related discussion, I have decided that if Prince were a hillbilly, he'd look a lot like John Rich did last night in his full-length fur coat and rock-star sunglasses.

However, the best Nashville Star snark had nothing to do with the show last night. It had to do with me getting gifts. Lots of them. We'll call them "parting gifts."

You see, Newman from the local radio station was in charge of entertaining the crowd before the show started. So he decided to do that by asking folks if they had any Valentine's horror stories. Now, my recent fiasco was not exactly Valentine's-related, but it kind of was, and I was tempted. I could make it about Valentine's Day and as I pointed out to my friend Michelle, who was with me: "I'm pretty sure that if Newman hears my story he'll give me everything in that sack of prizes." She agreed.

Well, time was running out and I really didn't feel like rehashing with 500 strangers, so I let it be. Besides, I didn't want to make an ass of myself.

But this other lady did. You see, she and her daughter drove 4 hours and spent $400 to stay at the Opryland Hotel but couldn't make it to the studio on time so their seats were behind the cameras and they couldn't see. And she decided to make a ruckus. Why she thought a local DJ could get her better seats for a national TV show he just happened to be attending, is beyond me, but she attacked him.

So, no time to tell Newman my story.

The show went on and the crazy lady didn't get ejected, although I'm pretty sure I saw some crew people give her the finger.

After the show, Michelle and I are walking to the parking lot and we run into Newman and we got to talking and the subject of crazy lady and I told him, "I should've rescued you with my Valentine's horror story. Sorry about that."

He still has his swag bag in his hand. He says, "You have one? Let me hear it."

So, I told him about the girl on the radio (see my Valentine's Day post) who didn't get his joke about the husband and the boyfriend. And then I tell him about someone's new, "more practical" girlfriend. I threw in the boss part because it made it even more fun.

And Newman starts taking CDs, hats, t-shirts -- the entire contents of the bag -- out and putting it in my arms. He gave me everything in the sack, and I think anything he had extras of he gave to Michelle just for putting up with me. He told me that my story was much better than "my girlfriend and I got in a big fight."

Then he gave me a big hug.

As he was leaving, I told Michelle: "See, I told you my story was worth the whole sack of prizes." Then I realized we should've asked him for some tickets for next week since it's getting harder to get in each week. Oops.

I haven't ruled out e-mailing him.

Of course, I called Kay to tell her the whole story. I mentioned that I'd definitely have to blog about this whole incident.

And then I said, "But I don't know if I should because Mike's dad reads my blog and all."

She caught my mistake rather quickly. I tried to get out of it, but my explanation was quite lame.

Nevermind. It's funnier this way anyhow.

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