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Sunday, April 29, 2007

Clarification...

I need to stop posting when I'm tired, delirious and pissed off.

I wrote this note to a friend about my last post, and I wanted to share it with y'all.

I'm not an alcoholic. Most of the time my drinking is completely under control. (And yes, I do realize that every alcoholic in the world says this.)

I don't need to drink. I don't have to have a drink to function. I don't crave it, which all alcoholics tell me they do. I could take it or leave it.

But somewhere along the line, drinking has become a necessary feature in my social calendar, and I'm just taking a break from it for a while. When I am sober, I have no tolerance for people who aren't sober. So, I drink because they're drunk, and that makes them more palatable. It's a vicious cycle.

I just need a break. I don't need a meeting, or Cumberland Heights. I highly doubt that I'll ever be a tee-totaller or anything.

I guess I just want to see if any of my friends actually think I'm fun if I'm sober. Remember that episode of "Friends" where Fun Bobby stops drinking?

Can I make it through a Cinco de Mayo without a margarita? Can I watch the Derby without Maker's Mark? Can I skip a month of happy hours? Maybe, but maybe not. Today it still sounds like a good idea. We'll see.

I just don't want to have a shitty birthday. And lately I think maybe "not shitty"="alcohol-free."

Although, not shitty might also mean free alcohol ...

3 comment(s):

I just thought I'd tell you that most of us know that and love you.

By Blogger trying2hide, at 4/30/2007 5:26 PM  

I think you are pretty great just being you, minus the alcohol and all.

By Blogger rosalie, at 4/30/2007 6:18 PM  

You can do it, if you really want to. I was a social drinker, too. In 1999, I was hungover from a wedding reception got up and realized I still had to take care of 2 kids and that was the end for me. I've only had one drink since and it was at a concert. It was like grown up peer pressure that night. I don't miss it at all.

By Anonymous Tina, at 5/01/2007 8:37 AM  

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