Does anybody read these?

Monday, April 16, 2007

So many questions ...

I am supposed to be writing a letter. I don't have much of an update on the last five years, and I really wish that I were much more successful and/or happy than I really am. Not that I don't love my life, because I do; I just wish that I were as happy as other people seem to be. It's kind of like at your high school reunion ... you wish that you had kids, that someone who used to be really thin was fat, that you'd won more awards ... you know. Same thing. I've done well for myself over the past several years, but I'm not nearly as exciting as I wish I were.

Mostly, I want to ask a lot of questions in my letter. I'm sure it's the reporter in me -- always looking for the scoop. But I know I don't want the answers. I already know what they are, and I'm pretty sure they'll just piss me off.

Maybe I just want to hear him say what I already suspect, but what good would that do? Would I be more vindicated? Would I feel less like a loser? Nah, I know -- unequivocally -- that the answers I'd receive would only make things worse. I don't need to be feeling any worse about myself, really.

Song of the day: Unanswered Prayers by Garth Brooks.

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