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Wednesday, April 18, 2007


Last week, my friend Jake from high school found me on MySpace. That was very cool. He seems to be doing well. He has a son and he coaches high school basketball. That doesn't surprise me.

Through Jake, I got a little reacquainted with some other classmates. I'm not going to befriend them on MySpace, because I wasn't friends with them in real life. (Although I did take the opportunity to make fun of a few of them with some friends from high school. It seemed like old times.)

Of course, I had another reunion of sorts last week, which seriously caused me to have doubts about a huge part of my life and apparently get so drunk that I don't remember anything, but, according to Kay, I almost took a header into the Cumberland River. It also took me five minutes to figure out how to put my flip-flop back on, which I tried to do in the middle of a street with a little bit of traffic.

Now that I've run the full gamut of emotions after my little blast from the past, I think everything will be OK. It surely won't be as I'd hoped or expected, but it's going to work out. You can't hate someone you spent so much time loving, now can you?

They say all things come in threes, so my third blast from the past arrived in my inbox this morning. It was also from a person who disappointed me and also involved MySpace. Seriously, say what you want, but someone has a lot of balls to ask to be my friend there. Lots of balls. At least Mike apologized profusely before he asked if we could try to salvage our friendship. However, this person did not. She doesn't really have to, because even though she's never asked for my forgiveness, I gave it a long time ago. I had to forgive her so I could move on.

And move on, I have. I have a great job in a fantastic city. I have friends who love me and aren't lunatics, and life is grand. I'm surrounded by music, and every night when I go home I'm met with warm doggie kisses. Things haven't turned out exactly as I'd planned, but my plan seems to suck compared to God's anyhow.

I've forgiven, but forgetting isn't always as easy, and that's a good thing. I briefly toyed with the idea of letting her be my friend on MySpace, although friend is hardly the word I'd use to describe her these days. I'm not sure she ever was my friend, or if she's capable of being one. I checked out her profile, because at first I thought my eyes might be deceiving me. But there she was, along with some other people who weren't so nice to me. Now, why on God's green earth would I befriend them anywhere, even on MySpace, where people aren't really your friends?

I've let my guard down a little more lately, and there are many, many days that I wonder if I'll get burned immensely for doing that. You have to live, though, you know. And when an apology is accompanied by a good explanation, it makes it easier. Some things are excusable and you move past them. Some things you just chalk up to life's examples and move on without ever looking back.

I was just pondering today how paranoid I've become in my life over the past few years. After everything that's happened, how could I not be? I just can't help but wonder what the ulterior motives are when someone you've written off tries to contact you out of the blue like that. You wonder what her angle is, because you know she has to have one. She always does.

I don't have time for games. I'm 30 years old. When I'm not working, I'm having the time of my life. There's really just no time for games, even if I wanted to play them.

Wouldn't it be nice if everyone grew up?

6 comment(s):

This may sound incredibly patronizing, but I'm so proud of you. You seem to have come full circle since moving to Nachville and I have "watched" (even knowing it's barely scraping the surface of your life) you change and grow through it all. Thanks for sharing what you do. Thanks for sharing this journey with us all however small that part may be. Good luck and keep smiling LJ.

By Blogger Sheri, at 4/18/2007 12:58 PM  

Sheri, it doesn't sound patronizing at all. Thank you. As you know, this was probably the craziest thing I've ever done and there have been trials and tribulations all along. I think some of the growing automatically happens when you turn 30, but I think sometimes life grows you up pretty quickly too.

I am smiling. I had a little bit of trauma last week, but I'm feeling a lot better about it now. When Reese Witherspoon won her Oscar, she said that June Carter Cash used to always tell people, "I'm just trying to matter." Aren't we all?

By Blogger Laura, at 4/18/2007 1:06 PM  

Glad to see you are still moving on. Good for you.

By Blogger rosalie, at 4/18/2007 9:26 PM  

you know seriously.... I don't know her... but I have waffle housed with you and I am sure that she is so not worth it. "Cause (you know)you rock in a seriously (and cool) massive way.

By Blogger trying2hide, at 4/19/2007 6:05 PM  

I am not so sure I would allow this person to be "my friend" on MySpace. It's like that little saying goes, "Screw me once, shame on you. Screw me twice, shame on me."

By Blogger Gerbera Daisy, at 4/19/2007 8:44 PM  

Oh hell no, she doesn't get to be my MySpace friend. I didn't just fall off the stupid bus. I'm over her drama. Completely.

We know she's delusional. Perhaps she's so delusional she doesn't realize we're not friends?

It might've been different if she'd thought to send an apology with that friend request.

Yeah, probably not.

By Blogger Laura, at 4/20/2007 8:38 AM  

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