Does anybody read these?

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Disappearing Act

I had just finally made my peace with the fact that there's no point worrying about General Motors and that I had to trust that God would take care of my parents, and I do.

I thought maybe things would get back to normal and my re-entry into the real world would stop being so painful.

Then one picture, a picture that I'm sure folks thought was innocent, turned my whole fucking world upside down.

I don't know where to go. I don't know what to do. I don't know when I'll eat again or stop feeling like I'm being stabbed with a million tiny little daggers.

I don't know anything, and apparently I never have.

At first, I clung to my friends and sought comfort and advice. Now I just want to be alone. I just want to hole up in my house and never come out. Mostly because I'm too embarrassed to face the world. I can't think or talk without becoming an emotional mess.

I just need some time by myself. I don't know for how long.

I just wanted to let you all know where I was going and not to expect anything here for a while. I'm off to wallow for a while.

If you really need me, you probably know where to find me. Don't be offended if I don't answer, text back or respond to your e-mail. I'll get to you eventually, I promise.

I'll be back eventually. It might be tomorrow, it might be next week, maybe longer, but I'll be back.

I am thinking that perhaps I should get out of my funk before people come for Thanksgiving next week, although I am seriously debating running home to my mommy for a day or so. Of course, I don't even want to talk to my mom right now.

3 comment(s):

Ummm ok, what happened? What picture, im confused. Write to me and tell me whats going on!

By Blogger Jamie, at 11/19/2008 5:34 PM  

Dont hide for too long, honey.
I'm sending you positive thoughts and prayers.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11/19/2008 9:15 PM  

I'm confused too. I'm grateful I haven't posted my trip pictures because now I know it wasn't one of mine that sent you into a funk. I'm sorry you are feeling crappy, but I hope you work it out soon. E-mail or text if you need to get it off your chest. I hope to see the happy, carefree, island hopper that I know and love, very soon.

By Blogger Charlene, at 11/19/2008 9:43 PM  

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