Does anybody read these?

Blah

It's been so long since I wrote anything here that I forgot that I'd already told you that I suspect I am depressed because of the accident. I definitely am, and until all this mess gets straightened out, I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do about it.

I'm sure the fact that there's a little trouble in paradise doesn't help. I'm just about over it. I hate to say that, but I am up against a wall and I don't know what to do. I can't support three people on what I make. Maybe I should be able to, but I have a lot of bills. I could with no problems if I hadn't bought a new car, but I did. And that was probably a good thing, because I drove my old one the other day and it's making some very unattractive noises.

But really, I shouldn't have to support three people. I have two jobs. When I didn't have a job, I looked everyday and worked in places I didn't want to just to make ends meet, which is why I still have two jobs now. Would I like to make enough so that Chris could just stay home and have Shelby all the time? In some ways it'd be nice, but in other ways it would make me resent him. I hate to say that, but somedays it pisses me off that I work two jobs to buy cigarettes that I not only don't smoke, but make me a little sick...

I need to get back to work. God knows I need to keep my job right now. I have something in the hopper, but I don't know how that's going to work out. All I really know is that I am in a funk. I have to meet the trainer today and I don't want to at all. I don't care, and I don't want to spend my money on a trainer anymore. I don't enjoy it anymore. It doesn't matter at the end of the day. Oh well. I just don't have money to piss away anymore, and I'm all about resenting people that make me spend money. I didn't used to be like that, but maybe the recession is finally getting to me.

posted by Laura at 8:51 AM