Does anybody read these?

I need to be productive...

...but first I must blog. LOL.

Actually, I am being quite productive. I'm pretty impressed. Not wanting to go back to work tomorrow, especially when I realized that NO ONE else is working tomorrow. Yikes. And fun stuff like the Rose Parade is tomorrow. And all the football games. Blech. Oh well...at least I can get major progress made on cleaning my office.

Anyhow, I am still trying to figure out how to explain to my parents about my job. I am sure they will find some ways to figure out to blame me. True, I wasn't happy there, and I didn't always do my best, but the place was bad off when I got there. And I could only be as good as they would allow me to be. We had been planning a big fundraiser that my boss canceled. I can't help but think if we'd had it maybe that'd have helped. There are many things I'd have done over again. I'd have been more aggressive in our fundraising and I wouldn't have backed down when people pooh-poohed my ideas. Maybe I'd have spent my own money to join organizations we needed to be in to make the contacts that could've helped us raise the money we needed. But I didn't know how serious the cashflow problem was until the day I saw the shut-off notice for the water bill on the door. And that was October, and then it was too late. And that was right before my paycheck didn't end up in my account on payday. And those two things made me realize it was time to look elsewhere. I knew it was bad, but never really knew how bad it was. I am not sad to leave my job. I will miss the people. They are nice, but I will not miss my job. Fundraising in Detroit is very different than fundraising in Rural Ohio. I could go to one lunch at the Detroit Economic Club and raise thousands just at my lunch table. There just isn't that kind of money here.

I think mostly I will miss my family, but I will treasure this year that I got to spend here. It has been great. But this is just not where I'm supposed to be. Everyone who knows me has suggested I move to Nashville. I am not a musician by any stretch of the imagination (although my mom said I sounded good at church today). The reason I do PR is because I LOVE being behind the scenes. I just think that I am supposed to be there. Virginia said the other night when we had coffee and caught up that she was pretty sure that I would thrive in Nashville. That I would be in my element and it would all fall into place for me there. And I think she is right.

So, I'm sad that my job is ending. Partly because I wish I could've made it work or that I'd have stayed in Detroit and not ever come here. Partly because I will miss my coworkers. But I will miss my family. But it's not like they will be further than a car ride away. And y'all know how much I love my roadtrips. But I know I am headed in the right direction. God brought me here for a reason and I firmly believe that this job is ending so I can find where I'm supposed to be with no guilt. Because I knew before I ever arrived that I wanted to be in Nashville. This has been percolating since last fall. And I would've probably been looking for jobs in the spring except I felt extreme guilt for looking for a new job so shortly after I got here. God is letting me go...so I know that he will help me find where I'm supposed to be next. And maybe I got to spend this year here so I'd have money to chase the yellow-haired boy and make my new support network of friends. Because a lot of things that have happened wouldn't have happened if I'd been in Detroit. And maybe I spent a year with my family so that when I'm an extra hour or so away I won't worry so much about not getting home as often. Everything happens for a reason, and I think God's plan is becoming more apparent as the days go by.

Tonight I will be sending out a zillion resumes to all the jobs I have saved on careerbuilder and Monster. I need to do that before I send the laptop to the HP hospital on Tuesday. I might be up all night, but that's OK. I won't miss the sleep if I can manage to find a job.

Also, I am not making resolutions because then I'll feel bad if I don't keep them. They are almost like dooming yourself, you know?

However, I am starting Weight Watchers points tomorrow. Virginia gave me the stuff to do it. I have a 1/2 marathon in 17 weeks and I am nowhere near ready. And I'm too fat for my pants, and that pisses me off. So, starting tomorrow, no cheating on the eating and exercising everyday. And I'm looking forward to it. I need to get back on track. I'd like to lose 25-30 pounds before tour season starts, and definitely need to get it off for the Marathon.

Luckily I found the best snack ever yesterday and it's not too bad for me. It's Turtle Chex Mix. It has chocolate and caramel chex, caramel corn, peanuts and M&Ms. And it's still considered low-fat, with less than 30% fat. I try not to eat anything with more than 30% fat, so it's nice to know that this is out there. I think it just became the official snack of PMS!

Lastly, in my ongoing effort to become somewhat organized I found a really cool datebook at the store today and it was very inexpensive. It has all kinds of cool sections, including a shopping list section which I love because if you know me, you know that I am famous for writing down my shopping list in boring meetings. Bad, I know. But this helps with that. However, it was one of those kinds you write the dates in. They gave us one like that at my job on the first day and I hated it because I never sat down and did the whole book and then I never had dates to plan ahead so I just threw it in the trash. So, I decided to sit down and do all the dates today so I'd be ready for the year. And I sat down and did the monthly ones and that was good. And then I went to do the weekly ones and I was short three pages. Apparently they stick together. So I had to go white out half the year and re-do it. And now my brand-new datebook looks extremely ghetto. On the plus side, I will remember that I have choir practice at 5:15 on Wednesday.

posted by Laura at 4:05 PM