Does anybody read these?

There's always time for a quickie!

I had a late night last night, but I'm digging that I'm starting work at 11 a.m. for right now. Unfortunately, I need to work out my schedule with my other job, which has quickly become a nightmare. I didn't find out about this new temp job before she did this week's schedule and I am supposed to be there during the day today. I can't get there until this afternoon, so hopefully they won't be too pissy about it. And even if they are, oh well. I am planning to tell them today that I'll do whatever I can to help them with whatever they need done, but if my schedule is going to be an issue then they need to bump me down and just let me be a service desk person or whatever they want to do. I really do like working there, but honestly I'm happiest when I'm doing stuff like service desk and running a register. I really have no aspirations to be anything more exciting.

I got an interesting email last night, and I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do with it. I absolutely hate that I'm in a spot where I can't trust people. It sucks. I know I'm pretty much damned if I do, and damned if I don't. So I guess aside from this post, I am ignoring it. I just still feel the same way I felt a few weeks ago. There's no point in hashing things out, no reason to share points of view. I'm not going to say anything anyhow, for fear that it'll be used against me. And honestly, even though I rarely talk about it, there's nothing that any one of them can say that can ever make it better. Ever. Not that I really think that's the reason the invitation was made.

If I don't go, I am sure it will be said that a peace offering was made and I didn't accept it. If I did go, then I'm sure the first thing that will be said is that I go a year without talking to someone and they dangle free food and drinks in front of me and my raging alcoholic ass beats feet to get to the restaurant. See, I can't win.

I just don't understand how someone could read this and think the appropriate response was to invite me out to dinner.

All I understand is that my heart has been broken too many times. And if I've learned nothing else lately, I've learned that I'm a big, giant retard to deliberately put myself in situations where I know I'll get hurt. So, nope.

Do I hate it? Do I hate that someone I once loved like a mother/sister/kooky aunt is going to be in town and I'm just ignoring it? You bet your ass I do. But I'm not the one who made it this way. At all.

posted by Laura at 9:49 AM