Does anybody read these?

I spoke too soon...

One thing I've learned about liars is that they lie. So really, why am I shocked?

Remember my post 6 months ago? The one where I called the truce? I was dead-fucking-serious about the truce. And I moved on with my life. I've done so much in the last six months. Mostly I've moved here to Nashville and have gotten settled. And honestly, I put the past in the past and kept moving toward the future, because it's the only thing that you can change.

Other people, apparently, not so much. You see, while I was busy living my oh-so-exciting life, I'd completely forgotten about those folks I used to worry about all the time. Honestly, I didn't know if they were dead or alive, and I was 100% ok with that. They were completely inconsequential to my existence. And looking back that's very exciting to me, because the point of the 6-month retrospective and its accompanying truce was so that in a year I didn't sit back and think "Holy fuck! I've wasted a whole year of my life on retarded bullshit!"

And thank God I can say that. Because it's apparent that other people, not so much.

Perhaps while I was moving on, I let my guard down. But you know what? It felt good. Until lately. You see, all of a sudden people I considered to be good friends stopped talking to me. Folks who were normally very nice people started acting like total assholes to me and others. And allegedly it was all because of me.

I'm not getting into it all. There's nothing I can do. Except remind people that I haven't done anything AT ALL to you recently, and what I did "do" to you wasn't anything to be so freaking pissed about anyhow. If nothing else, I did you a favor. Because if I'm such a big fucking jerk you didn't really want to be my friend anyhow, did you?

I don't even care if you're alive. It's been a year. You don't ever cross my mind. Ever. You're dead to me. So, go play dead somewhere, OK? Get the hell out of my life. Now. For good.

It's like I said before. Nobody gets to win here and nobody gets to lose. If you're worried that I'll spill ALL the beans on your little secret rest assured that I have no intentions of doing that. Why? Because I don't fucking care.

I hope someday when you're old and gray (For those of you who aren't already, of course. Just because you act 12 doesn't mean you really are.), I hope that you can reflect on your lives and be proud of it and not feel like you wasted significant chunks on stupid, idiotic things. It took me a while to get to that point, but that's where I am now. Everything I do in life is something that I'll be proud of later. And I don't live in the past because there is no point in rehashing things you can't change.

So, why this post? Well, it's the last one. I'm pissed right now. And I'm sad for people who are so pathetic that they can't move out of the past. Just let a dead dog lie, and don't try to suck more people into your stupid bullshit.

Honestly, ask yourself right now if you'll be proud of the way you're acting ten years down the road. Or even ten days, weeks or months from now. And if you will be, then you're more pathetic than I thought and I seriously doubt anyone can help you.

Hell, think of all the sweaters and scrapbooks you could've made if you'd taken up a hobby like I suggested. Hell, I've written a whole lot of book while you've been off at the coffee klatch.

Oh, and P.S. If I were going to be pissed off with someone for eternity and harbor a huge grudge, it'd be over something better than an aging country superstar.

posted by Laura at 1:48 AM