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Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Blah

Things are about to get crazy in my life again. Work slowed down for a little bit, but starting this week, it's ramped back up. So have my hours at TRU. Blech.

Things with the boy were going well, and now they're kind of blah too. Maybe we're just getting in that comfortable place in our relationship. But the girl in me who doesn't do well with relationships thinks maybe not.

Which kind of sucks, because this whole thing with the boy kinda-sorta precipitated this huge argument with my best friend. If I thought he was a flash in the pan (I still don't), maybe I would've spared her feelings. But it's been brewing for a while, and the boy was just one piece in the puzzle. It's ugly, and I'm not sure if it'll fix itself this time. That being said, I have apologized for what I needed to apologize for, and I have made my peace with it. If she really wants to never talk to me again, it is her loss as much as mine, maybe more. My love for my friends is unconditional and it doesn't go anywhere even if they do. Nothing's changed on my end, except that I realized sometimes I need to be a little more conscious about others' feelings and make an effort to never deliberately hurt anyone.

I've grown up a lot in the last year. I'm in a really different place. Not that I want to settle down and have babies or anything, because the babies aren't an option and I'm not 100-percent sure I see the point in settling down if you can't have babies. But I'm happy professionally and personally, and I haven't seen that combo in a long time. I don't know that I've told Mike this and I know sometimes he reads my blog, so I hate to say it out loud here first, but having him back in my life has really helped me resolve a lot of issues I've been harboring all these years. I still have A LOT of work to do, but I'll get there eventually.

I'm hungry and it's lunch time, so I'm going to sign off for now. I hope things will slow down enough to check in sometime in the near future, but don't hold your breath. Also, say a little prayer that the negotiations between my insurance company and my doctor's practice go well, because Laura is way too high-maintenance to look for a new doctor. You know me, I'll just stop going, and that can't be good for me.

Song of the day: "Maybe She'll Get Lonely" by Jack Ingram.

4 comment(s):

Fingers crossed about the new Dr. I just moved to a new state and had to "settle" because of the 5 recommendations for Dr that I was given they ALL have 3 month waiting lists... It sucks..

Sometimes when it comes to friends you just have to say how you are feeling and let it all work out.
I did the same thing with a friend 3 years ago and we lost touch, it was toxic to have her in my life.
We have re-connected and its like no time has been lost. It was a hard thing to do but better for both of us in the long run.

By Blogger Random Musings Of My Life, at 3/11/2008 8:38 PM  

If you try to bail on your health care I will personally fly there myself to kick you butt. Things will get better; your friends know how lucky they are to have you and I am sure things will get better there as well. We have known each other awhile and I think this is the first time I have heard you say that you were happy personally and that you enjoyed your job.

By Blogger rosalie, at 3/11/2008 11:00 PM  

I'm really glad to hear that things are looking up for you and that you can finally be happy. I hope it last a long, long time.

You shouldn't give up on your friend, I was in the same situation about 3 years ago with a close friend and I told her how it was and didn't speak to her for a very long time. I've seen her out a few times in the last 3 months or so and we've spoken a little. Things aren't back to where they were, but I'm still hopeful that they will get at least close.

By Anonymous Patty, at 3/12/2008 9:09 AM  

Ah, that post made me want to cry. We've all been there Lj, hell the two of us have been there together over a bunch of really stupid shit. We parted ways, in a not so nice way, but never burned the bridge that linked us. Relationships, whether it be with a friend or a new love, have a way of working themselves out if they are meant to be salvaged and those that aren't meant to be are just memories, good or bad, to fill up the -dash- in your life.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3/16/2008 11:38 AM  

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