Does anybody read these?

Maybe...

...someone will give a shit about this mish-mash of a blog post.

May's theme is "Maybe." I guess the idea is to focus on how to turn your maybes into realities. Of course, maybe you didn't notice that it is already the second day of the month, yet I've only written one post for May. Maybe I can just start fresh today.

And, not to set myself up for failure, but I'm leaving on Thursday and I'll be gone for five days so my brother can get hitched. So, yeah, I guess I am setting myself up for failure.

I'm finally getting a second to breathe at work, which is part of why you are getting a blog post. It's hard to believe someone who used to eat, live and breathe a whole separate life on the computer barely turns the damn thing on these days. But, guess what? I'm reading books. Real ones. And they're good.

And I drink coffee and discuss them with strangers, which is fun.

Yesterday after church (a place I had not been in some time), I went out to Chris' and he changed my oil while I played playground, ice cream shop and tea party with Shelby. Sometimes when he smiles, I just wish we could go back where we were. The other night, we were talking and I told him that he's a good person and a good friend and sometimes he knows me better than myself, and he said the same for me. I concluded that we're still a good team; we're just playing a different game now.

I thought I'd be married by 35. Well, really, I thought I'd be married at 30, but I gave myself an extension. Now, with just 19 days to 35, I'm realizing that being single is OK. I don't have any desire to be married, and I've made my peace with the fact that I probably won't get to be a parent, although I haven't closed the door on the possibility of foster kids once I get a little more financially stable.

But, in some ways, I like being on my own. And right now I have roommates, but it'd be OK if I didn't. I even keep going back and forth about getting another cat.

I feel slightly compelled to write something about Osama Bin Laden being taken down by the Navy Seals, but I'm not nearly as optimistic as some, and I'm definitely not jubilant. Killing is bad, and we need less of it in this world. I still feel like there will be retaliation, and it surely didn't make our president more palatable to those who hate him. I just want to say, I may think George W. Bush is a moron and I may hate the way Republicans have divided this nation, but I don't hate any of them. In fact, I pray for them daily. But, this does not often seem like a courtesy that extends both ways.

I miss intelligent discourse. I miss the gentility of politics back in the day. Most days, politics and government in this country and the discourse (if you want to call it that) surrounding it make me a little nauseous. So, what should be an occasion for our country to band together and have national pride has just been a way for the haters to blame even more shit on the black guy.

It's been a year since Nashville's floods. For most people, things are back to normal. For many, things will probably never be "normal" again. I'm just glad the weather's been kind to us lately and pray for those to whom it has not.

posted by Laura at 1:28 PM