Does anybody read these?

What a week!!!

I had originally planned to talk about all kinds of fun stuff because for the most part Saturday was good: I went to an old-fashioned farm day and had fresh apple cider; I went to the Ohio-Kent football game and it was very fun and OU won; and I got falafel from the stand Uptown. I just love their falafel. I'll even say that seeing the yellow-haired boy in People was a highlight. I thought it might make up for the incredibly shitty week I had. And then all hell broke loose.

So much went wrong this week, and I shouldn't have deluded myself into thinking that life was OK. Ooops. I had a bit of a run-in with one of my dearest friends, and I'm pretty sure she's pissed at me and I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Honestly, I'm just praying it'll all be OK.

Have you ever had two friends tell you two stories about one event? And you listen and you're pretty damn sure that one of them has to be lying for the other one to be telling the truth? This especially sucks if there is no point at all in taking sides, which there wasn't. I've heard a lot of crazy shit lately, and at some point I decided that I'd just roll with it. It doesn't affect me personally and I don't know anything for sure because I'm not involved in the situation. So, I'm just staying right in the middle. And honestly, maybe I just need to bury my head in the sand because realistically it sucks to think that anyone would lie to you, and worst yet, that anyone would feel like they had to make up lies to be my friend. That's just silly. Especially when you're a very cool person regardless.

Yes, I'm sure I came off all wrong in the way I handled the whole mess. There were lots of reasons. I had sun poisoning yesterday and I didn't feel good. I had a really shitty week. Like I said, I'm worrying most about the things going wrong that personally affect me and I'm totally at a crossroads on my feelings about the yellow-haired boy. So add to that the realization that you may have been completely and totally hosed by a friend and not knowing exactly how to process that information. Even when it's looking you right in the face, it sucks to have to think that about a friend. Especially when you and that friend had a bumpy road and you were excited that maybe things would be OK. I don't like choosing between my friends. And yes, I realize that I'm the one who put myself in this situation and at the time it seemed like the right thing to do. I just wish I had a clue what to do next. I guess I've explained myself and if our friendship is as strong as I think it is we'll be OK. And it's not like I doubted her; I just didn't want to be wrong about someone else. Maybe I'm just too idealistic to think that everyone could be telling some version of the truth, somehow. Honestly, I've just been a sympathetic ear and I've been rolling with it. Only time will tell...

Song of the day: When I was growing up, my favorite song was Bonnie Tyler's "It's a Heartache." Well, today on the radio I heard a cover of this song. Trick Pony, I guess. It's still a great song. And it totally fit my mood. Trying to decide what to do about a boy who seems very interested in me, but doesn't seem to know what the next steps are. And feeling like I have done all I can and not knowing what this means. And, of course, not liking AT ALL what I think it means. Being worried that a very good friend is upset with me and not knowing what I can do about it. Being at an impasse with work and having to make some decisions there and being a little scared of what's next in life. Yep, it's all one big giant heartache. On the plus side, Heidi Newfield has done a great job with this song. I get very picky when people cover my favorite songs, and I didn't turn it off and run screaming from the building!

posted by Laura at 2:38 PM