Does anybody read these?

OK, I wonder...

...does my family realize my door is open, and I can hear every word they are saying?

This has been a very long week. You see, the perfect brother is back from Florida until tomorrow. So, of course, if he is here then we all get to hear how perfect he is.

Some highlights:

Of course, EVERYONE is going to Florida for his wedding. He's perfect. It's going to be a great wedding. Blah, blah, blah.

I am still worthless and lazy, in case you were wondering. Now I am also the world's worst roommate and completely and totally insane for going to a strange city with no job. Oh, and I'm pathetic because the state sent me to a career counselor. And so many other things I'm just too pissed off to rehash.

I can't wait to get the fuck out of here. I am so sick of it. It's been the longest year of my life. The daily self-esteem boosters are really more than I can handle. I need to get away from the negative energy. I told someone the other day that I'd rather be homeless than live here. I just don't get why they think I'm such a loser for finally following my hopes and dreams. So many other people believe in me. Some of my cousins and my aunt, my career counselor, my friends, my former co-workers. Why can my parents and my brothers not believe in me? I am sitting here ready to cry just thinking about it. Luckily it makes me want to go and work my ass off to prove them wrong. Seriously, if I have to work 3-4 jobs to make ends meet, I will. I just can't do this anymore. There are no jobs here, and no one really wants me here. What other choice do I have?

So, don't expect lots of posting from me in the next two weeks. Assuming that Karen and I get along this Friday when we meet, I am still planning to get down there early May. I was worried about some obligations I have here like Sunday school, but they will live without me. It's time to do what's best for Laura now. I've put my dreams on hold for other people for far too long.

posted by Laura at 12:35 AM