Does anybody read these?

A little update...

There are lots of things running through my mind, but honestly by the time I get 15 seconds to write and sit down, I can't remember what they are. I am working like crazy lately, and I'm not sure how that's going to work out for me.

I guess what I'm really trying to let you all know is that if I don't post here, don't worry about me. I'm still alive. I'm just working way too many hours trying to make ends meet. I'm still looking for a job, but it's still not going well. I'm really starting to wonder if I'm in the right career, but I can't honestly think of anything else I'm even remotely qualified to do. I'm totally pigeon-holed professionally, and to be honest I've made some career choices that just didn't really fit. So I'm a little behind where I need to be on my professional skills, which sucks. I can't get a good, steady temp job because I'm completely overqualified and my shitty temp agency refuses to send me on interviews for positions for which I'm qualified. The real problem is that I don't want to do anything else. I write. I love PR. It's what I do. I don't know how to do anything else, and even if I did I wouldn't want to.

So what's next?

I'm supposed to have two interviews next week. The first one would be something different, but it'd be fun. And it's a lot of money and that'd help right now. I could also quit my part-time job, which might not be a bad thing because I think we're going to have a showdown regarding my schedule tomorrow. I can't just do that right now. If they don't get it, then I'm sure I can find another retail job somewhere to help make ends meet. I kind of backed into this job anyhow. I'd said I was going to go to a clothing store so that if I ever had enough money to buy clothing, I could utilize the employee discount. But when this was offered, I didn't want to turn anything down.

Anyhow, I'd like to believe that I'm going to be getting a job soon, but mostly I wonder why I'm so defective that people talk with me on the phone or interview me and I never hear from them again. Especially the guy that I finally heard back from today (when I asked him why I hadn't heard back from him) who told me I was definitely getting a second interview and then he tells me today that he found other people who were more qualified.

I don't know what the problem is. I don't know what to do about it. I'm just not sure what to do next in life. Working 70 hours a week is going to kill me, and it's the only way I can make ends meet. It's not like I can go home; there aren't any jobs there.

I can't think of anything else I'm good at it. I can't think of any other career I'd like to have. Yet apparently other people do not think I am as good at my job as I do.

I don't know what's next in life. I'm scared. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do. And I know I'm supposed to be positive, but I just don't feel positive today. I'm sure it's not a long-term thing. I'm just having a shitty day. Or maybe it's a shitty week. Or the way I'm feeling lately, it's probably going to be shitty for quite a while.

I'm just going to stop whining now. You don't want to hear it anyhow. And since all I do lately is work, sit in my car, sleep and occasionally whine, maybe for now I shouldn't be blogging so much.

And also because according to most of Greater Nashville I'm not a writer anyhow.

posted by Laura at 11:30 PM