Does anybody read these?

The Final Chapter of the Laptop saga...

As you all know, my Compaq laptop has pretty much been a piece of shit since Day One. Aside from the hard drive failing (which HP fixed after a prolonged battle on when I purchased it. It's called a receipt, assholes.)

Anyhow, my big problem has been with Circuit City. And you know how I love to let you all know when I've been wronged by corporate America. So, with that I present:

The final chapter of the laptop saga.

And the reason it's the final chapter is because my "two-year extended warranty" is not an extended warranty at all. You see, it expires in two weeks, which is two years after I bought my laptop. That means that while I spent A LOT of money for this two-year plan, really I only got one because every time I called them in the first year, they told me to call Compaq.

This whole thing has been a nightmare. First, the idiot who sold me the computer was probably so excited that he was making a $1400 sale that he registered the computer to someone who was not me. He put someone else's name on my receipt. So it's been a complete and total bitch to even get them to talk to me.

I have the laptop. I have the credit card that was used to buy it. I have the receipt. I don't care if Santa Claus' name is on the account. It's my computer and I need you to fix it.

But that ended up not even being an issue, because they won't fix my computer. Apparently it's my fault that my piece of shit power cord has been falling apart since a couple of months after I bought my computer. The guy on the phone suggested that maybe my dog ate my cord and then he got to hear about how my dog is dead. Nice, asshole.

They'll replace a battery that it's obviously your fault if you need a new laptop battery. When I bought this bitch, I didn't think it'd run on the same battery forever. Just like my iPod doesn't or my cell phone or my TV remote or anything else. Batteries are not invincible. If you use them, they must be replaced.

So, I figured that if they'd replace a battery when it was your fault, they'd replace a power cord when it wasn't your fault.

Nope. Apparently much like it's always your fault when someone hits you and your turning left, it's always your fault when the plastic on your cheap piece of shit power cord starts to separate and the wires start to stick out.

And icing on the cake? The guy I talked to six months ago should've told me that. Because I told him the exact same thing I told Bob tonight. Of course, Bob's name probably really is Bob and he spoke English, unlike the other guy. And if that guy had told me, maybe I'd have scraped together another $100+ bucks to replace it.

Because my friend that fixes computers? He says that most likely there's a problem with the connector inside the laptop too from the stress of the defective power cord. And Bob tells me they can't fix that because my power cord is broken. (No fucking duh, Bob. Are you in Mensa?)

And I don't think the money fairy is going to help me find an extra $140 or so for a new power cord in the next two weeks, and my "extended warranty" is about to expire. So, that means when the time comes I will have to pay someone to fix the connector too.

Wow, and the people at my part-time job wonder why I never push extended warranties on the customer. They have to be the biggest rip-off in all of America. I feel dirty when I sell one. Because they don't fix shit. Even if they say they are great; they are really not worth the paper they are written on. None of them.

Anyhow, the saga on the laptop has concluded because there is no time left for these assholes to fix anything, assuming that anything was covered.

Although maybe in a few days I'll call them and tell them I need a new battery. I don't, but I could probably sell it on Ebay to get the money for my power cord.

But I know for sure I won't be buying my power cord from Circuit City. Because -- God as my witness -- if I EVER go in there again, I want my legs to develop some ailment and fall off my body. If I had my receipt, I'd return the $19.99 DVD I bought there last week.

So, if you need a new computer, just get a Dell. Don't fuck with the retail outlets. The Dell guy will come right to your house, even if you have a laptop. And you can bet your ass if I'd called Dell about this power cord, they'd have sent me a new one -- no questions asked. I know this because I accidentally stuck a paper clip in the disk drive of my boss' laptop -- 100% my fault -- and they sent me a new one. And I told them what I did and offered to pay for it.

Actually, now that I think about it, it just might be time to switch back to Macintosh. I forgot how much I loved them until I got my iPod.

Whatever my next computer is (and I hope I have to get it later than sooner), you can bet your ass it won't be from Circuit City.

posted by Laura at 12:48 AM