Does anybody read these?

My doctor's visit...

So, I went back to Dr. Martin today. It didn't go badly. I really like her.

My blood pressure is still high, so we upped my medicine. She gave me this nose sprayer that I can use for my allergies since I'm not allowed to use over-the-counter stuff (except Claritin) because they can raise your blood pressure.

I need to lose weight, but we all knew that because I'm a giant moo.

She thinks I might have sleep apnea. I have to go back again in two weeks and if my BP is not down then I will have to go to a pulmonologist and maybe a sleep disorder clinic to be tested. I really don't want one of those bullshit breathing machines since I'm already so sexy people are afraid to sleep with me. That might just be so crazy I wouldn't know what to do.

Last, but not least, we seem to have progress in this hormonal craziness I've had since they took away my $30/month tic-tacs. First of all, I've been a crazy lady and everything sets me off. And things that normally set me off are uber-huge now. I'm just a big mess of nerves.

And not that I want to be graphic and tell you all about my "female problems" because while I'm pretty open about things like that, it just doesn't seem right to post it all over the Internet, I will share the following information.

• I am now on the third migraine of my period today.
• This may be partly due to the fact that my period is on its 6th day with no signs of slowing up.
• I had cramps so bad Sunday that I thanked God I could lean up against the service desk so that if I passed out I might not hit the concrete.
• I am super bitch to the point that I seriously considered getting in my car and going to rip someone's balls off, stopping only once for chocolate and Diet Mountain Dew.

So, Dr. Martin asked me how things were going without my pills. I told her that I'd like to kill myself and/or others because I am moody, on day 6 of my period and in perpetual pain. I am way too busy to be incapacitated for days on end.

I can't take my $30/month tic-tac because she's worried about it increasing my blood pressure, so she gave me this new thing. As soon as I figure out how to do whatever I need to do with it, it sounds like it'll be easier for me. And it sounds like if I ever find someone silly enough to sleep with me that I'll be much less likely to get pregnant, which is always an added bonus.

The only bad part is that it costs $60/month and the only way my insurance will pay for it (and then it's only half) is if I order it by mail. I needed it today, so I went to Walmart (where it's $44 for some reason) and I had a free trial coupon. So, it won't hit my pocketbook until next month.

Allegedly I ordered new contacts today, too. We'll see... I had doctor drama with that, too!

posted by Laura at 4:54 PM