Does anybody read these?

Tuesday, August 05, 2008


I hurt my back over the weekend. It seems better now. I'm going to try to go to the gym at lunch.

I have been trying to eat well and work out, but I did get waylayed for a couple of days by the excruciating pain in my back.

I cooked all my farmer's market goodies over the weekend. I haven't made much progress on the eggs, but I think I'm going to whip up my famous low-fat rum cake...

... probably mostly because I need the booze. Luckily, my neighbors and I are having a Sex and the City party on Friday because Kay has never seen it. I'm in charge of Cosmos! Yay, my favorite task.

I wish I could grow a backbone. I really need to say what's on my mind, but I'm just content to let it go. I just don't see the point, as it hasn't helped before. Krista says I am never going to find the love of my life because I won't let anyone in and trust them enough. I trust someone. More than I trust myself. I just don't believe that relationships are supposed to hurt when someone loves you. Maybe I expect too much. I don't know.

Friendships. Loves. Lots of walking away and new beginnings lately. Lots of tears, and my little heart just keeps getting smaller and smaller. If only the rest of me would follow.

I just wish I could deal with my ghosts, but I have no idea where to start.

My island getaway is looking less and less like reality lately. I'm not sure what's going to happen, but much like everything else, I'm kind of over it and not 100-percent sure I care.

Ironically, when I went to the doctor last week I told her that I didn't feel depressed at all. And, really, I'm not depressed. I'm just having a really bad case of PMS this month, and everyone has decided to shit on me while it's happening. I should be used to it.

I'm dancing around the issues. I don't know who reads this anymore, and I'm sick and tired of people reading stuff here and getting pissed off about whatever... I just have to get some of this out before I curl up in bed and refuse to come out for days on end. I'm just in a funk. I wish I could get away for a while. I'd go to Ohio for my long weekend, but my mom is coming here halfway through it. Ironic. I can't wait to see my mom. I miss her, and I'm sure we'll have lots of fun.

I need to go to the gym. I could use a little endorphin boost right now.

Holy shit. None of this really makes sense. To think I call myself a writer. Well, it's my blog and my disjointed thoughts. I guess if you don't like that, I don't really care.

1 comment(s):

I still read if that makes a difference. I don't always post a response though.

By Blogger rosalie, at 8/10/2008 3:45 PM  

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