Does anybody read these?

Tuesday, July 15, 2008


I am doing really well right now. I guess I just needed to hear some things were going to be OK. And, you know what? I think everything is going to be OK. No, actually I know it will be.

I worry about stuff that does not need to be worried about. I'm not sure why I do that, but I wish I didn't. I think it all stems from not liking myself all the time.

But I like myself a lot right now. I've had some changes in my life, and I see more in my future, but they are all going to be great. I'm pretty content with where I am. And if I'm not, then I will be soon enough.

One thing is for sure, I'm not ever going to shed tears over someone who wouldn't shed them over me. And I'm not going to be all upset about something that happened in the past when a) there is nothing else I can do about it and b) I know that no one else is overly concerned about it.

I haven't cried in ages, except for tears of utter joy over a recent conversation (some of you might know what was said) and the tears from my pain-splitting migraines. But number of tears shed over fucked-up relationships has stood at zero lately.

I'm just happy to be happy again, because I think I deserve it. And, yeah, I shed a lot of tears to get here, and but I learned a lot of lessons along the way.

And I haven't gone anywhere or shut any doors. I'm just putting in as much effort as everyone else, because putting in more is why I end up crying.

That lesson, right there, is worth all the gold in the world.

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