Does anybody read these?

I hope this will be my last depressing post for a while...

It was the tiniest coffin I've ever seen.

It looked like one of those hard-sided American Tourister make-up cases you get when you buy a new set of luggage. Well, it didn't really look like that. It was just that size. But it seemed to be made out of marble. It was a teeny-tiny marble box.

Inside was the cutest little baby you ever did see. She looked a lot like her daddy. She had on an adorable yellow dress, probably something she'd have worn for Easter if she'd made it. And her daddy made sure she had a little white shawl to keep her arms warm in Heaven. Everyone said she looked like a little baby doll.

But she was a little girl and she went Home to sit on Jesus' lap. The minister did a good job. Rusty and Heidi are not Catholic, and some of the funerals I've been to in my life have been very interesting. I know that Catholicism isn't for everyone, but I like that you know exactly how things are going to go and there's no shocker in the service. Frankly, I've seen way too many ministers in my life spend less time remembering the person who passed away, and more time trying to add to his or her flock. I just don't think that's what a funeral is for, and it was nice that Tim didn't spend all his time proselytizing. Instead he focused on how we were all feeling and how we know that Raylinn is in Heaven now. We know that she had a purpose in life, and she has a purpose in Heaven. It was a great eulogy. I wish I'd had something to jot down all the Bible verses that he used, because they were excellent.

One thing that Tim did was that he reminded us all that life starts at conception, so Raylinn wasn't really 10 days old. And he thanked Rusty and Heidi for making that choice. It reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend recently. A friend of mine asked me for advice about a woman she knew (whom I've never met) who was considering abortion. This woman was Catholic; my friend is not. So I offered resources from the Church as well as my own personal thoughts for her to share. I also told my friend that we needed to pray hard-core that this woman would choose life. And my friend recently told me that this woman has decided to have her baby. They say there are cycles of life. So while Raylinn is up in Heaven, a new little baby will get a chance here on earth.

And so will Reiston. Heidi and Rusty were doing very well today, although we all shed many tears. My eyes and my nose hurt from crying. Rusty told me a few things about Raylinn's contributions in her short life. First of all, the doctors had never seen anything like this before. They were able to study her little body, and that knowledge will help other little babies in the future. Secondly, Reiston is most likely alive because of Raylinn. As I mentioned, they realized that she was sick before they were born, but the surgery was too risky to both babies to be done in the womb. The babies ended up being born early because Raylinn's situation was getting more precarious. But the doctors think if they hadn't delivered the babies last week that both Raylinn and Reiston, and quite possibly Heidi could've been in danger from the complications. So, truth be told, she probably saved her brother and her mom's lives. Not too bad for a little tiny baby, eh?

I think the saddest thing I saw today was my Uncle Al. I drove him home last night, and I wondered if he'd make it today. You see, 20 years ago in April, Uncle Al had a little baby who died when he was 4 hours old. Little Eric was born without a fully developed brain, and he never could've lived. From our conversation last night, I knew that he was not taking this very well with Raylinn. Some people weren't sure he'd make it to the funeral today. But he did show up, and he talked to Rusty for a really long time. He did not look well at all. I told everyone I was worried about him based on our conversation. The worst part, however, was when we got to the cemetery. My uncle and his wife got divorced a few years ago, and she had Eric's grave moved. Well, wouldn't you know who's buried about 10 feet from little Raylinn? Yep, I noticed my uncle fall to the ground in front of his tombstone, and my dad and my Uncle Dave were comforting him. He told my dad that it never gets easier, losing a child. Everyone decided that Eric and Raylinn are probably playing in Heaven. Although my cousin Brenda thinks that her dad, Uncle Leo, probably has them helping him do chores and riding on some of our ponies that are up there!

It was a very hard day. It was nice to see how many people took time off of work to be there. The funeral home was completely full. There were some people that I don't think have been in a church for years. I think we'll all be OK, and I know I feel a lot better after Tim's talk than I did this morning.

One4JC recommended this book to me in the comments the other day. I am going to get a copy for Heidi. It sounds like it will be really good.



I've written before about God talking to me through the radio, so I thought I'd share with you the songs I heard this evening when I went back to church for choir practice.

What Hurts the Most - Rascal Flatts
Tonight I Wanna Cry - Keith Urban
Holes in the Floor of Heaven - Steve Wariner
When I Get Where I'm Going - Brad Paisley and Dolly Parton

Seriously, I couldn't even make that up. And the weirdest thing? On the way to church I have to go over this HUGE hill. And the radio station that Brad and Dolly were on never comes in on the other side of the hill. Today it was still pretty good while that song was on.

But all in all, I did better than I thought I would. I did call Rosalie because I had to stop thinking for a while. Luckily she listened while I rambled on about exercise DVDs and which tanning lotion to buy at Walmart. I'm sure she knew exactly why I was calling...

posted by Laura at 10:44 PM