Does anybody read these?

Mental Health Day

I took a mental health day today. Since I'm not working, it was more a mental health day from life. The most challenging things I did today were buying all the stuff for the swag bags for our trip in 2 weeks, taking some packages to the post office, ordering a pizza and painting my fingernails.

I am thinking I'm going to lose it tomorrow morning. I am totally putting everything off. I have no idea what to wear. But you can't be like "F--- you, funeral! I'll show you, death. I have no clean clothes! I have no dish for the funeral luncheon! I'm just not dealing!" Because frankly, death does not care. It doesn't make it any less real. So, you end up going to the funeral in dirty wrinkled clothes and to the luncheon empty handed. There was no point in totally dogging what I needed to do. But now it is 12:30 in the morning, and if I don't get some sleep I'm really not going to be able to deal.

I am not sure when I'll be checking in again. I hope tomorrow. I hate to disappoint you, but frankly I just don't care about much right now. I think in addition to being pissed off that very good people have to bury a little baby tomorrow, I am not particularly happy that someone I considered to be a very good friend could not put aside petty bullshit to give me her condolences. That sucks ass. My friends have been absolutely great. I don't know what I'd do without them. Hell, strangers have been praying for me. And to have someone I'd do anything for not even acknowledge I'm hurting sucks ass.

If you go here, it should let you read the obituary if you're so inclined. For being 10 days old, it was a pretty nice write-up.

OK, I'm done bitching and feeling sorry for myself for today. See why I haven't been posting? Who wants to read that? Who wants to write it? Hell, I depress myself.

Wishing I were here right now...



And the song of the day, because for some reason I still believe in soulmates even though my give-a-damn is completely busted regarding life in general is "Yes" by Chad Brock. For those who don't know, this song is actually the song of how Chad and his wife met. Unfortunately after he made it big with this song, they got divorced. So maybe they weren't soulmates after all. I have no idea what Chad does these days...

posted by Laura at 11:23 PM