Nothing like procrastinating...
It's not going away. I stayed up late last night. I've been having trouble sleeping lately. But I was up bright and early this morning and already hopped in the shower.Yet I still procrastinate. I still haven't figured out what to wear since I never picked anything out last night. So, I'm sitting here in my robe blogging half-trying to find something to wear. Good job, Laura. I still have an hour before we have to leave anyhow. Plenty of time to get ready.
I'm also very sick to my stomach right now. I'm looking forward to going there and coming home and sleeping for a looooonnnnngggg time. That is, if I don't puke. I wonder if Luke will be here. I haven't had a chance to talk to him. At least I have fingernails. Luke probably chewed all his off. That's one habit I'm glad I wrote off the books. Occasionally if a nail breaks and there's an icky piece hanging there I might chew my nails to not be inconvenienced by it. But most days I'll file and paint the trainwreck that is my hands.
I just want to go back to bed. I can safely say that if I didn't have to take my dad today, I wouldn't be going at all.
posted by Laura at
7:25 AM
2 comment(s):
LJ....I'm just getting caught up on email and blogs. Sorry about all that has been happening. As a neonatal nurse for the last 15 years, all I can say is that it NEVER EVER gets easy for me to work with a baby who is loosing the fight. I cry every time. I used to not want the families to see me cry, but once a dad took me aside and said "thanks for letting us know how much you cared about our little one." I have seen a lot and even held a little 1 pound baby while he died because I couldn't let him die alone and never having been held and loved. It is a horrile thing and I will never understand it. Even with all we can do it is so hard when we can't do enough, but that's God's way of saying that it wasn't meant to be. The only thing I can say is that they are not suffering anymore and they are free of pain and feel loved by God and what a great place Heaven must be. It doesn't help much but now she is her brother's guardian Angel and will watch over him forever! I can say that a lot of twins that I have cared for have amazingly done better after they loose their twin. It's strange but I think of it as the one helping the other get better! Maybe it's just me and they way I look at things but it helps me get thru it. My heart goes out to the parents as I have seen the pain they go thru on a daily basis. You are all in my prayers.
By
Anonymous, at
3/08/2006 12:46 PM
Ok...
#1 Trust me on the grieving thing...I have taken entire classes on the subject and been to MUCH counseling to deal with grief...Let it out...write it..yell it...pray it through whatever you need to do.
#2 Grief is like the ocean. It comes in waves but will never take you out to the sea never to be seen again. It comes and goes just ride the wave through and you will see the surface again.
#3 On the sleeping thing...I have never been able to turn my mind off at night so I have a couple lighted handheld games that I mindlessly play for 5 or 10 minutes until I fall asleep. It works for me.
By
one4JC, at
3/08/2006 4:33 PM
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