Does anybody read these?

Friday, August 08, 2008

I'm alive

I just wanted to say that I'm not a bad person. When I hurt people, I do apologize for it, but I'm not going to sit around and continue to be crucified. I am so good to people I care about, and sometimes that causes me to get taken advantage of -- actually, lots of times.

I've gone through more heart ache than most people could ever imagine. A lot of it, people will never know about, and that's just fine.

Things change. People change. I like who I am right now, and I'm really looking forward to my future. I have lots of things to get in order, but when I do -- watch out.

I'm relatively happy, but sometimes my mind drifts to a place that it shouldn't. I really should be used to being blown off and excluded, and maybe even hated at this point. I know I'm not a bad person, and sometimes things happen and even if we don't realize it at that point, they're for the best... It's just hard when you invest so much time and so much love. Even right now, I have a gift that was never given, and I'm not sure what to do about it. I think I will probably just send it along with a little note. I never stopped caring about anyone else. I probably never will. Not when someone is such a big part of your life.

I need to just work on me for a while. I have a lot of things that I need to take care of over the next year or so, and it's all very exciting. It's also all very top-secret, but as soon as I feel like I can tell I probably will.

I'm doing OK. Life is actually pretty good. I have a lot to look forward to, so it's best to just leave the past in the past.

Song of the day: "I'm Alive" by Willie Nelson. I think that will always be one of my favorite songs...

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