Does anybody read these?

Tired

I'm still pretty worn out. I've got lots done at work, so I thought I'd take a break. I am thinking I'm probably not going to turn my computer on at home tonight, so I figured I'd check in.

I have a friend who used to have a blog somewhere on the Internet, and she used to move it a lot. Anytime someone she didn't want to know about the blog would figure out about the blog, she'd just move it and e-mail everyone and tell them where to find her. I always thought that was so crazy.

But, in some ways, it makes sense. So does making this blog private, which seems a more likely course. Hell, if it were private, maybe I'd really talk about what I'd like to talk about. Actually, I really say whatever it is that I'm feeling anyhow, which is why instead of having friends reading my blog, I have people with nothing better to do camping out here waiting to pounce on everything they interpret to be offensive. If those people still talked to me, I would kindly tell them: "None of it's about you," and continue to move on with my life.

I told you a while ago that part of me craves anonymity again, but doesn't want to give up my real and virtual support networks, both of whom check in here and on my MySpace. But, the thing about being a writer is that if no one reads what you write -- does it really matter? Because I'm not sure that it does. And, frankly, I suck at keeping a journal. That's why I like all of you. Whenever I go and buy a fancy book and a nice pen, I might eek out a few sentences before I lose interest. But here, if I decide I don't want to write, I can count on Cindy and Speez to e-mail me and ask me to update my blog. I need that accountability.

I want to write good stuff again, instead of ramble on about bullshit.

So, maybe I will turn the computer on at home tonight (after I work out and clean, of course). Because I want you to hear the McGavock Pike story that I promised yesterday. If I can get the words out like what's in my brain, I think you'll all find it to be a look inside my soul.

And besides, sometimes it's nice to toss a bone to those who think it's all about them.

(Validating your decisions usually feels pretty good, too.)

posted by Laura at 3:44 PM