Does anybody read these?

Let the healing begin!

"If you love something, set it free. If it doesn't come back, it was never meant to be."

I hate that quote. I've especially hated it lately. Yet, I still know it's what I have to do.

I am not closing the door. I'm just trying to stop hurting. I have to look out for myself.

I have had advice coming from me in all directions. People telling me to hold on and wait it out, that Oct. 22 isn't a long way away (these people have obviously never gone six days without eating). I have people telling me he's a bad person and we have nothing in common so who cares if I love him, I'm just delusional. But most people are telling me that I just need to give him time to get his life back together and figure out what's going on. But during that time, I shouldn't be pining over him and worrying about whether I'll ever get to see him again.

We're getting together and chatting tonight. I'm going to tell him that I love him more than anything and I want what's best for him in his life. I hope that he will love himself enough to stand up for himself and have that, but he's 32 years old and he has to do it on his own.

I am not giving up on him. I would never do that. He is a wonderful man and obviously I love having him in my life or I wouldn't be anguishing over him. I am just giving him space to make his decision and freeing myself from the hell that I've been living in for the last two weeks. Lisa may be controlling and manipulative, but she's not controlling my life anymore.

I don't know what will happen. Obviously, I want him to be with me, but I'm not sure his heart his healed enough to do that. I need to give him time to work on himself. And frankly, maybe I could use some time to work on me too.

I just hope he's not pissed off when he gets to my house and finds out that all of his stuff is at his house. His parents thought it'd be best if I took it yesterday while he wasn't there, so I did.

I love him, and I'm doing this because I love him. I just hope he understands that.

Well, if he doesn't, then I guess it wasn't meant to be.

I'll be OK. We all still need prayers, but hopefully we'll all be OK.

posted by Laura at 1:31 PM