Does anybody read these?

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Ask, and ye shall receive

Apparently you get yelled at when you go several weeks without updating your blog. But since I love Cindy, I will figure out something to write so she will be happy. A happy Cindy is better than no Cindy at all.

After all, been there, done that and got the t-shirt. And it wasn't very fun at all. Cindy is also fun. And she's known in these parts as a woman who has the amazing ability to talk me off the ledge. She can be my rock. And believe me, floating in the ocean with no sign of your rock is no fun. (Unless you're floating off Maho, but I think Cindy would agree with me on that...)

Really, that Cindy love-fest should be a sufficient post for her. Right? :)

All of that reminds me of the time when I didn't have Cindy in my life, when our friendship had fallen apart. I didn't think there was any hope of salvaging it. But I try to do what's right and never burn bridges in my life. (Although I can say there is one time that I am not very proud of when I was not very nice to Cindy. And I hate that I got caught up in all that drama and fell in that trap.)

I am a good person, and I try to be a good friend. Sometimes I'm not as good at it as I would like. But my friends, for the most part, seem to like me and stick around. Some of them have even told me that they enjoy spending time with me and consider me to be a good friend.

I'll go with that.

I've really been thinking a lot about friends lately. And I have been tempted to throw out the proverbial baby with the bath water. I've pared down my friends list and learned that some people were never really friends at all. Some people have just moved on with their lives, but some people, I believe, are truly incapable of sharing their lives in a healthy, meaningful manner with other people.

If you're reading this and think that last paragraph is about you, you figure out where you fit in the picture. I'm way too tired to try to do that.

For the most part, I have excised The Elf from my life. A while ago, I was asked to limit my contact with his fans and remove myself from any places on the Internet where he might be talked about. Although I found that request to be a bit asshole-y, I understood why it was asked and really that whole fan thing had run its course. And besides, you really do look like a pathetic biddy sitting on the Internet all day arguing with strangers about a stranger. And even if you do know what's going on, none of those house fraus are going to believe it. Because they are super fans and they know everything and you best not fuck with them.

(We interrupt this program for roaring laughter. Now, as you were.)

Really, after you've lived in Nashville and talked over beers with artists (big and small), you learn that being a fan is really not cool. It's OK to appreciate someone's music, but you don't need to be in their fan club or go to all their concerts or -- God forbid -- wear their shirts in public. And don't even wind me up about those fan club cruises. Let's just say that stars are not fans of cruising with fans, and leave it at that.

The Elf seems to hate his fans, and in some ways I can't blame him. After all, there are some days that I really hate some of his fans, but that's another therapy session.

However, some of my very best friends I know because of The Elf. Not all of them, but there are several that are not going to be pared off my friends list. But these are all friends that I can have meaningful conversations with that have nothing to do about The Elf. Which is good, because I don't know shit about him these days. I hear he has a new album coming out, and I'm sure I will listen if the music is good and he's not just singing about frat parties. He needs to grow up, but that's also another therapy session.

He's not in my life these days, aside from a random song on the radio once in a while. Much like all the drama mamas who populate his fan club, he actually seems to be a big fan of drama himself. I think he spawns it, to be honest with you.

But now he, his drama and his drama mamas are in my rearview mirror.

My friends these days are my friends. They are women who held my hand when I was scared. They are women who took my late-night phone calls when I had lost my shit. They are women who have travelled cross-country to visit me, and I have done the same for them. We travel together, and we know that no matter what, we are always there for each other. Sometimes, that is needing a place to crash when your brother's small Miami apartment is overrun by family and other times it is meeting someone at Walmart to get groceries because your roommate has run off without paying and you're hungry until payday.

Sure, with some of them, that initial meeting revolved around an aging country singer with a Napolean complex. And it seems like for every Elfin relationship that has been blessed, there is one that has been cursed. Celebrities make some people turn into nuttos, you know. Or perhaps they were always nuts, and it just took you a little while to notice.

I guess this week I have been reflecting on relationships. I'll blame that evil devil called Facebook. I think the straw that broke the camel's back, the incident that precipitated this post was when a friend (or I guess at this point I should probably say "former friend") deleted some comments on Facebook after I replied to them. I didn't have a falling out with this person that I knew of, although I hadn't talked to her for a while. I know I sure as fuck didn't do anything to her. True, I don't chase people I don't know across America to go into debt watching the same boring concert over and over and over again anymore, but that doesn't make me a bad person. Definitely not someone you'd delete your comments if they replied to them. And what I said was true. Up until that point, she was more than welcome in my home. Now, I'm a little pissed.

Sometimes you just grow apart from people. God knows I've grown up in the last few years. I am finally a homeowner. I have learned the importance of the balances on the Visa going down instead of up. This time last year, I was even responsible for the life of a child. Yes, I'm pretty damn grown up these days.

But everyone's journey is their own. That's important to remember. And if you have to leach on to someone else's journey because yours is not sufficient, then that is sad.

I don't even know what I am trying to say anymore. Just rambling on about friendships and lives changing. I guess if you're still reading and you're still my friend, I'd like to thank you for that. I'd like to think that I've surrounded myself with a great group of folks. I'd like to think they think the same thing about me.

I am sure things will still change along the way. Humans are evolving creatures. Life happens.

But for right now, I am content. And I sleep more without my phone being lit up by late-night drama.

1 comment(s):

Check your calendar girlie, it has been more than a couple of weeks since you last blogged and due to me being addicted to reading your words of wisdom, your rants, etc. I had to ask you (ask, not demand) to please update, lol.

You are so correct about TLM, however without him think of all the many people that wouldn't have shown up at some point in our lifes. Strange huh? For the good ones that have crossed my path I will always be eternally grateful...for those evil types I have to accept some of the blame but what a ride it was.

As far as being mean, can you see me waving my hand and can we say that both of us acted like we were in the 6th grade fighting over the same boy. Words can never be taken back, apologized for definitely but there is no big eraser that can remove ugly words that were spoken. Thankfully, somewhere along the way, we were able to look past the past and concentrate on rebuilding what was once a great friendship. While we both chose many bridges to burn ours was made out of concrete so it has been able to weather the storms.

So, while I am not as big of a fan of TLM as I once was, I am still thankfully that through him I found you.

P.S. Please keep this blog updated, it really helps to put things into perspective.

By OpenID cinnbham, at 7/21/2010 7:48 PM  

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