Does anybody read these?

This is not about fans. (Sorry.)

About a month ago, when I was home for my brother's wedding, I went in the day of the wedding (thanks to my grandma who scheduled everything for me when she was getting her hair done) for a manicure, polish change on my toes and hair cut and style so I could look half-way decent at the wedding. The hair salon I still go to is the one that I went to when I lived in Ohio, and, since it was two blocks from my office when I worked there, many of my coworkers went there too. (We used to go tanning on our lunch break. True story.)

While I was there last month, one of my former co-workers came in to get her hair cut. She had also moved away, although she had some bizarre commuting thing going on because she and her husband couldn't/hadn't sold their house there yet. It took me a while to figure out who she was, so by the time I did, I didn't really have time to catch up with her. Clearly she is working elsewhere or she wouldn't have the bizarre commuting situation.

Not to mention I don't really feel the urge to communicate with most of the folks there. It was just a year of my life that I generally gloss over and pretend it never happened. If I could hit the mythical rewind button, I'd change a lot of things that happened in that time period, both personally and profressionally. In fact, I'd probably still be in Detroit because I would have never, ever taken that job. But hindsight is 20/20, and life is good now, so I guess it was just a speed bump in the road.

There are a few people I really miss and wish that I kept in better touch with, and those are Erin and Robin, who were kind of my assistants but not really because other people were massive control freaks who didn't really let me do my job. Other than that, I'm not really interested in keeping in touch. And frankly, I'm guessing since no one heard my side of the story that they all probably think I'm a flaky loser anyhow. They don't know that every idea I had was abandoned mid-stream (not by me) and that I was essentially set up to fail. They probably don't know that the position that I was offered and brought on board for was different than the one when I arrived at the office (after moving my life 250 miles). For example, in some great scheme to pay for me (because my former employer had a great scheme to pay for everything) she'd basically sub-contracted me to another person for 10 hours a week. Another person an hour away. (I could also say another person completely unqualified for her job and all over the map, but that'd be mean of me.) And I couldn't turn in my mileage. But, this was something I learned after I'd worked there a few weeks.

The fact is, I was miserable in that job and it wasn't working out from the minute I got there. As a matter of fact, I'd already made up my mind to move to Nashville and had several interviews here the day that she basically told me that she'd hoped I'd failed with the to-do list that she'd given me because she had no money to pay me. The decision for me to leave was a lot more mutual than she let on, and the whole situation was dealt with very poorly.

But, like I said, hind-sight is 20/20.

I had an amazing team, and I do often wonder about all of the girls and what they are doing now. They are all strong, amazing women with good heads on their shoulders. I'm pretty sure they could do whatever they want to do in life. And I remember all the fun times, like when our team had Secret Santa and I kept leaving everyone presents to confuse them. Or when one of the girls posted a photo of her politician dream crush (yes, I used to work with political nerds just like me) and it turned out to be our boss's brother-in-law (and co-worker's brother).

Sometimes I even think maybe I'd like to do more of the nonprofit fundraising stuff. I help Carol when I can, but fundraising has never really been where my passion lies. Writing brings me joy (although yesterday when I had the writer's block that was debatable). And fundraising isn't bad when I have a passion for the organization. I get all excited about it when I am reading a proposal for Carol or working on the Vision Walk, but if it's a cause I'm lukewarm about, it's harder to get behind it. And while I'd love nothing more than to singlehandedly save Appalachia, there were roadblocks there. Community perception means a lot when fundraising. I've learned that along the way. And I just read last week that professional fundraisers should never be expected to shake down their personal connections. So, when I was hired for a job because I had the same last name as a lot of people in the area, it never should've been expected that I bring them all to the table, especially by an organization that had a perception problem in the community.

I think I'm going to start working on my Vision Walk fundraising sooner than later. I have the Alzheimer's Walk for work, and then I'm doing the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure because it means a lot to Shay and I need to get in shape for the Las Vegas Half Marathon in December. It can't hurt to have another skill set, especially if it allows you to raise money for charity.

I really don't know how this relates to fans. I really should've found a way to do that.

Actually, hold on -- sometimes a fan of going down memory lane. Not often, but sometimes.

There you go.

posted by Laura at 11:17 AM