Does anybody read these?

Last one

I have gone back and re-read many posts because I was cleaning up my dashboard. It was eye-opening.

The reality is that this did not happen because I decided to pursue a relationship with someone who my best friend doesn't even remember she spent a night with. In some ways, it'd be easier to believe that it did.

You all read this blog. And you, like me, know that she's been trying to find a way to get rid of me for months now. My guess is that she found new friends and didn't need me anymore. Although the more I read, the more that I realize there have been a lot of hurt feelings these last few years -- almost always mine.

If she wanted to be my friend, she would've forgiven me. Just like I've forgiven her time and time again. Sometimes your friends piss on you, whether they mean to or not (I didn't), and you forgive them because that's what friends do. And even if you don't forgive someone right away, if they really need something, you are there for them because at the end of the day you are still friends.

Cindy also told me today that it was OK to move on. She is right. It's OK to move on, but I'm not giving up anyone. I'm not burning any bridges. I'll always love her, if she ever wants to come back. Even though sometimes I wonder if it's against my better judgment. Love is like that some ways.

I just will always wonder why she felt like I didn't deserve a second chance when so many others get not just second chances, but third, fourth and fifth chances.

Maybe instead of inviting her to dinner and breaking the news to her gently, I should've just dumped her by text message and told her that I didn't want a relationship with her unless everyone else was busy, like other people have.

posted by Laura at 6:16 PM