Does anybody read these?

It's all about me!

Just in case anyone was confused: This blog and all of its contents are all about me.

And, you know what else? My life is about to become all about me too.

I'm single, and there's no one else to take care of me. I really don't see that changing, and I'm fine with that.

In the past year, I have paid off all of my credit cards except one, and I think that's pretty damn good. And that one? I'm not using it, and I'm whittling it down every month. I'm also down to about four more car payments, and I'm really hoping that once I get done paying for that, I might be able to work a little less. Although I do like the idea of banking all the extra money.

This year, I finally grew comfortable with my own skin. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was happy about the person that I am. Unfortunately, I realize now that's not good enough for the rest of the world. Because the world hates fat people. I know that's blunt, but I'm not blowing sunshine up my own skirt, because I love myself and I owe it to myself to not lie. If I don't lie to other people, why would I lie to myself? That's silly.

People don't want to hire fat people. Men don't want to date them. Even if they seem to love you, you can't compete with a hot, young thing when you're 32 and fat. You just can't. So, you might be the hot thing for a while, and then you're seeing another woman's purse in your boyfriend's vacation photos.

And besides, I could be healthier. Really, I could. So, I'm hiring a personal trainer. I don't know if it'll work, but one thing's for damn sure: This is my next big project. And every other project I've worked on lately has kicked ass, so I think this will too.

I really am doing this for me. It's not going to get easier as I get older. I don't want more problems than I already have. But I'm not going to lie and say that I'm just so fucking sick of listening to everyone treat overweight people like they are lazy and worthless. I'm just over the bullshit. And, I'm not lazy and worthless.

So, I'm going back to TOPS, and I'm hiring a personal trainer. And if I haven't had a marked improvement by May, I'll just go get my little lap band surgery and fix it that way. It's just time for a new me.

I hope you'll all be behind me.

posted by Laura at 11:54 AM