Does anybody read these?

"Better than yesterday" is not necessarily good...

So, here we are. Friday. A new day. The follow-up to a complete shit day.

Today was better than yesterday, but when a day completely and totally sucks, is it really hard to top it? Ummmm...no.

After Thursday's pants-trying-on adventure and my massive depression from the realization that my thighs are huge and pasty and now seem to have developed cellulite. How the hell did that happen?!? My friends all said they didn't get cellulite until they were 30. I guess it's just one more birthday present because I noticed for the first time yesterday that I have some gross, dimply fat thing going on. Seriously, I even have knee fat. How did that happen? I'm not sure, but I'm guessing that using my running shoes for more than just a door stop would help.

So, Friday morning started at the doctor's office for that oh-so-fun annual exam. Yay, good times!!! It's even more fun when you have no insurance and have to pay for that bitch out of your own pocket. Dang.

This was a new doctor. And she was one of those doctors who believes in being healthy all over. This generally means a lecture when you're so fat you have knee fat. I got not only a lecture, but an ultimatum.

The diagnosis:

Drink more water. Lots more water. Nothing else, really. (I was very dehydrated when I got there today.)
Walk everyday.
Eat lots of fruits and veggies and make smart choices.

These are all things I try to do. Except sometimes I am lazy. But now I am lazy with knee fat, so something's going to have to change.

And, of course, there is always the ultimatum: My sneaky doctor wrote my prescription for three months and told me that I needed to lose weight and bring my BP down (It wasn't that bad. It's always been a little higher than normal and I live in stress city right now.) in the next three months or she will reconsider my prescription. Of course, one could make the argument that if I do everything she tells me to I will lose weight and be hotter and significantly increase my chances of getting laid, thus needing the prescription that is currently really nothing more than an expensive Tic-Tac. Well, an expensive Tic-Tac that makes me less like a bitch and more like a normal person. So, trust me, you all benefit from me getting my daily dose of hormones.

After the doctor, I went to my aunt's work and helped out while the fill-in girl for today was at lunch. I bought a few baked goods from the kids at the special school that shares the building with them. The diet will start AFTER cake and ice cream day Sunday. Honestly, first thing Monday morning I will be eating only grapefruits and salads. Yummmmmy.

Lastly, I drove about an hour away to go to a town with a few more stores than Wal-mart to see if I could find pants. I did have a specific pair of khaki capris that I wanted to get for next weekend. (Skorts are out because of the knee fat situation.) I finally found them in my size just as I was giving up. Now to find a shirt to go with them...

I'm still trying to figure out what to say about next weekend. I guess really at this point, since it's a surprise I really shouldn't give out any details. I think it'll be tons of fun. If nothing else, I've got great pants.

It would be wrong to make "Is This Love" the song of the day again today. But needless to say, all the girlies that know about THE dream need to put this on the list of details. While it wasn't in the original dream, this is one detail that can't be overlooked if that whole thing actually happens.

So, song of the day is "What's Left of Me" from Nick Lachey's new CD of the same name. Wow, Jessica Simpson is a huge bitch. Poor guy.

I feel like I'm cheating on the girls who do my hair, but I've found a new fake and bake and I love it. The beds are a lot better. I didn't even burn my boobs on the first try! Not like anyone's going to see the frighteningly white parts of my body...

posted by Laura at 9:35 PM