Does anybody read these?

I'm blogging so I won't eat...

I'll admit it. I'm a stress eater. And right now, the other half of my sandwich from Subway (the new Tuscan chicken; it's great) and a chocolate chip cookie my dad didn't eat are calling my name.

I'm stressed out. Last night I went into a full-fledged panic attack about my financial situation before I realized that my unemployment check for this week hadn't been deposited yet. Not that it's much better now that it has, but the situation is less precarious than it was 12 hours ago.

I am worried I'll run out of money and/or unemployment before I find a job. It's a serious worry that bothers me everyday. I know when I get to Nashville I will work 2-3 jobs if I have to just to make ends meet. That's not ideal, but I can do it if I must. I'd really like to find a job that is the right career fit.

I know it's crazy to pack up and move to a strange city with no job. Don't think that I'm not worried about it. But the chances of me finding a job there are significantly greater than my chances here.

Today I got a lecture from my dad about all kinds of things, but the main thing was that my siblings and I have no commitment to family. You know what? My parents are both retired. They can live on a farm in the middle of nowhere and not worry about the shitty job market. I can't. I'm 30 years old and I live in an area that has had TWO jobs for which I've been qualified since I got laid off in January. Two. I had more interviews than that in Nashville last week. And my career counselor Chris told me that both of those jobs had more than 500 applicants each. Yeah, this is a real land of opportunity. Maybe it's not my brothers and I who are awful people for leaving to find jobs, maybe my parents should think about who would move to this area if they wanted their four children to live here and start families. The schools are not good, so I couldn't ever settle down and have kids here.

Nashville is one hour further from here than Detroit was. It is a very nice drive. It's not like I'm moving to Mars. It'd be a long car trip, but I could make it in a weekend. If I plan far enough ahead, the airfare from Columbus to Nashville on Southwest is very reasonable.

Even if my parents weren't making me insane, I can't stay here. I don't want to rethink my career choice. I know why I've had a series of professional mis-steps alon the way. I should've followed my heart when I graduated and headed to Nashville instead of Detroit. I'd probably be a lot further ahead of the curve right now.

I have a headache from worrying about everything. I guess I just wish that just for once someone would support me in my career (or really any decision that I've made). It's hard enough to uproot your life to a strange city with no guaranteed income when your family IS behind you every step of the way. Imagine if they think you're stupid or just refuse to admit that you're leaving.

posted by Laura at 12:19 PM