Quiet
The only thing I hear is the air rushing inside my sleep machine mask...
And my mind screaming.
I am my own worst enemy and it is not good to be alone with my thoughts.
It isn't really good to be alone. I don't feel like I have anyone to talk to. Having friends just walk away makes me feel worthless, or -- worse yet -- like I was only worth using.
I hate that I cared about people and would have done anything for them and when I need someone, all I hear is crickets. Says a lot about how friendship works for other people.
But it says a lot about me too, which is probably why I prefer being alone even though I detest it.
I would rather be alone than be with someone who is just waiting for the person he really wants to show him a little affection.
I am a beautiful, intelligent, caring human being. I am a lot more than a way to bide your time.
Maybe someday someone else will realize that. But until then, I am pretty damn happy that I finally figured it out.
posted by Laura at
10:42 PM
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