Does anybody read these?

Monday, December 31, 2007

Life's mysteries...

It's the Monday after the end of regular-season play for the National Football League.

The Titans made the play-offs, which is definitely one of life's mysteries.

However, the biggest mystery in football is how Matt Millen has a job.

GMs and owners all over the NFL cleaned house today. Coaches and managers who couldn't produce results were shown the door.

And Bill Ford has yet to extract his head from Matt Millen's ass.

Detroiters are tough folks. We're resilient. There are still hundreds of thousands of us sitting on the sinking ship that is our city, hoping and praying that the auto industry somehow becomes what it was "back in the day." We remember a time where we all drove American cars and everyone had good jobs and their entire families had great health benefits.

We've all always stood by the Lions, too. Regardless of how shitty they were. But more people drive Toyotas than Chevrolets now, and some of us have abandoned our cold, gritty urban playground for other cities. For me, I headed south to warmer climates. (It's 60 here today.) I have a good job, which is more than I can say for many folks I know back home.

Maybe the fact that Matt Millen is the shittiest manager in the history of football and has no plan to ever make the Lions any type of team is just one more indicator that Detroit is a city past its prime.

Or maybe Bill Ford (and every auto industry executive, really) is just totally out of touch with reality.

I'll admit, since I left I've pretty much been a Colts fan full-on. I cheered for both teams before, but we'll just say my allegiance shifted because it's too hard to get Lions games when you don't have Channel 7 and leave it at that.

Regardless, I bet half the out-of-work assembly line workers from Ford could transform the Lions into a winning team before Matt Millen could. reality show? "Who wants to be an NFL General Manager?"

Friday, December 14, 2007

Because I like to pretend you care...

So, I was very anti-Motorola yesterday, but it turns out they make all the good phones for my cell phone company. We don't have LG, which is unfortunate because everyone seems to love their products. I looked at the Samsung's but nothing blew my skirt up. I debated on some sort of Blackberry but that's soooo much money, and my handy-dandy customer service representative said it's not worth it if you're just going to talk on it. Pretty much I talk and text, so I can use just about any phone.

Although I still think the folks at Motorola are a bunch of choads (and yes, TJ, I know what a choad is and I still think it), I got a new Motorola. It's something called a w490 (sexy name, I know...), and it's somewhere between a Razr and a Krzr, whatever a Krzr is. Anyhow, I'm sure it's going to be great. They tell me it's sturdier than the Razr (already in love), but I still am buying insurance, at least until I can upgrade again for a ridiculously low price.

So, anyhow, this is what it is going to look like when it arrives in 10-14 days. (It's backordered.)

Also, because I like to pretend you care, I will tell you that I completed another section of my handbook today, and it's just in editing right now! Woohooo! I love to check things off my to-do list.

And Jamie and I may be one step closer to having found a place to live. It's not a townhouse, so it's not our #1 pick (not that we actually have a #1 pick), but it'd do for a year or so.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Any suggestions?

I've never had any kind of phone but a Motorola. But Motorola seem to be a bunch of rat bastards, so I'm seriously considering going in a new direction. I don't know anything about all the different kinds of cell phones except that the V330 that I've been using while my Razr was being fixed (or so I thought, but perhaps the foreign people didn't really understand me) is a giant piece of shit.

So, right now I'm the owner of two shitty Motorolas (let's be honest, the Razr was a piece of shit before it got wet, considering it had been broken since it was 3 weeks old and was so shitty that I couldn't even get insurance on it), and I need a new phone before I go insane and kill people because I can't make a call or my battery doesn't work for more than 2 seconds.

Anyhow, I need to upgrade my phone. I'm about ready to tell Motorola to put it where the sun doesn't shine. So, if anyone has any suggestions on phones that are not pieces of shit, please feel free to leave me a note in the comments.

I have T-mobile, if that helps. They have been absolutely delightful, by the way.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Vegas, baby!

At my work, you have to request all your vacation time for the year in December of the previous year. Yes, this is a giant pain in the tookis. Anyhow, after finally settling on a date in the oh-so-far future for STJ 2008 (Nov. 9-16, if you care or would like to join us), then I get the brilliant idea that I would like to go to Vegas.

So, I am requesting May 18-21 to go to beautiful, sunny Sin City. Happy Birthday to me!

Anyone who would like to come along (either trip), can just drop me a line.

Monday, December 10, 2007


I am so busy right now that I got upset for not hearing back from a friend's email, only to realize that it was half-finished and I never hit "sent."

Things have been interesting here, but I'm still not sure how much I want to tell. If it ends up being anything worth reporting, I am sure y'all will get an update.

Thirty-one has been a great age for me. I've really learned a lot about myself over the past few months, and every day is a new learning experience.

I'm thinking about going to Vegas for my birthday. We'll see. I guess I can ask for the time off and change it if I need to.

Monday, December 03, 2007

Only me

This could only happen to me.

As many of you know, my phone was having lots of trouble before my trip. I'd talked to Motorola and they were going to fix it when I got home. And, of course, on my trip my phone was acting up even more. On our first night, it stopped working while we were waiting for our ride to the villa, which was quite inconvenient. So, I'd already decided to send it back to get it fixed.

Last week, I printed out the e-mail they sent me and sent it off with my phone to the Motorola repair center. And I waited for my "Hey, we've got your phone!" e-mail. I was starting to get antsy because my warranty expires Dec. 12. The phone's been broken since January, but it wasn't until a few months ago that I realized the crack in it was more than cosmetic and was causing problems.

Anyhow, I waited and waited for my confirmation e-mail. I didn't get delivery confirmation or insurance on the package, because let's face it, who insures a phone that's pretty much left for dead.

Do you see it coming now? Here it is...

I called today to get a status update. And it turns out, they've changed repair centers and my phone is missing. It may be on its way back to me. It may be on its way to the new repair center. No one seems to know exactly where it's gone... The first thing the nice guy from India says: Do you have a tracking number?

Hello ... that costs extra, and I sent you a $180 piece of worthless shit. No, I have no tracking number.

He and I had a little chit-chat and he assures me that if one of us finds my phone at some point in this process, they will still repair it for free (however, he also said "Don't forget, your warranty doesn't cover liquid damage." But I did tell him that it seemed to take on moisture because of the crack that was in it and it st0pped working when it was raining. So, we'll see.)

Anyhow, I just think that it's ironic that had I purchased insurance I'd just get a brand-spanking new phone courtesy of the post office. But I figure that mine has been left for dead and I'm going to have to spend money out of my pocket to get a new one regardless.

I'll keep you posted. I'd guess that Motorola just has a huge-ass stack of pink razrs sitting around that no one wants, especially since T-mobile only offers that ugly ass gray now.

However, if worse comes to worst, it's $69.99 to upgrade now.

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Truth Serum

I am so fucking sick of being the fat friend that you think that you have to work over so I won't cock-block you. Whatever, dude. Good luck with that. It doesn't matter. Nothing of what I think matters anyhow.

You know what? If I want to fuck a really hot guy with a not-so-dead wife, that doesn't really make me a bad person. If there's a guy who calls me at 3 a.m and wants to put in me, that's OK.

Because the reality is, if I weren't about sloppy seconds, I'd have nothing to talk about. All I really know is that I'm drunk right now and apparently I'm a very shitty friend, and I'm not sure what to do about that. I'm sure as hell not going to say what I'm thinking because isn't that what got me in trouble in the first place?

Anyhow, none of it's relevant because I'm a moo and no one loves me. Some things never change, and I just need to deal with it.