My little corner of the world where I ramble about life and a whole lotta nothing. When I started I wondered if folks read this stuff, and it turns out they do. I think that's pretty freaking cool...Grab a beer, pull up a chair and take a peek into my world.
And even if he is, America is not a Christian country. It's the land of the free, and the free are whatever damn religion they choose. And Muslims are not bad people. Extremists are bad people, whether they are Al Quaeda, racist skinheads or crazy right-wing Christians who blow up abortion clinics and such.
And, even then, isn't it God's place to judge?
As I told someone just yesterday: Say you don't want "socialized" medicine (not that you'll get that with Obama anyhow), say you want to keep your taxes down (not that Obama is going to raise them, even though he probably should) or say that you think taking the troops out of Iraq is a bad idea. Have a reason politically or ideologically to dislike Barack Obama. And if you have that, you don't need to talk about how he was born in Kenya (he wasn't), is Muslim (he's not) or did coke in college.
Why does that video of Rodney King shouting "Can't we all just get along?" keep running through my head.
Song of the Day: "Ain't that America" by John Mellencamp.
As part of my class, I started getting these daily e-mails that have a little prayer and today's Bible readings. I get them from Fr. Bob at littleflower.org, which is the Web site of the Society of the Little Flower, or St. Terese of Lisieux.
Anyhow, this is today's reading. I think everyone just needs to live like we are children of God. There's so much stress between politics and everything else going on in this country, and I think we just need to get back to basics and follow God's word.
And yes, I know that's a lot harder than it sounds. Believe me.
Brothers and sisters: You are no longer strangers and sojourners, but you are fellow citizens with the holy ones and members of the household of God, built upon the foundation of the Apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the capstone. Through him the whole structure is held together and grows into a temple sacred in the Lord; in him you also are being built together into a dwelling place of God in the Spirit.
I archived my last two posts and decided to not make my blog private. At least not right now. There is a possibility that I might do that again in the future, so if you still like what you're reading, then send me an e-mail or leave a comment, and I'll make sure you're on the list if/when I do that. We already determined recently that I am not so sure about having my whole life out here in public the way it has been.
However, last night I was just angry and reacted in haste. I've been doing that lately. While I was cooling off, I decided to pray about it.
Long story short, I like when strangers read my blog, and they can't do that when it's locked up and you have to know the secret knock to get in. Normally I don't say anything strangers would care about, but the election is a week away, and I'm not one to mince words. For example, what is the point about saying, "John McCain's speech about how people should vote for him so Democrats aren't running the Congress AND the White House is starting to get as annoying as Giuliani's speeches about Sept. 11th," if no one can hear me?
I want to make people think. I want to keep my friends up to date on what's happening in my life. That's it. Nothing more or less. Oh, I do also like to rub it in that I am going to the Caribbean NEXT WEEK, and you most likely are not.
I'm not here to "talk trash" about anyone. OK, maybe not anyone except Sarah Palin; she's nuts! And, if you read something here and feel like I'm attacking you, that's probably just your guilty conscience. I'm a nice person. I love everyone. Yeah, I get pissed off once in a while; we all do. But the beauty of having your own blog is that you have a place to vent so you can go on in life. Because sometimes all you can do is just go on with your life.
I'm happy right now. I just want to be happy. I've waited 32 years to be happy. So, if you don't want me to be happy, too fucking bad. Your presence is probably not necessary here, if that's the case. Because no one needs to piss in my cornflakes. I deserve better than that.
Song of the day: "Some Beach" by Blake Shelton. (It was playing when I got in the car this morning.)
The more I think about it, maybe I am the worst Catholic ever. Bigger than Ted Kennedy, John Kerry or Joe Biden. Maybe I'm just this awful, horrendous person who's got it all wrong.
Instead of being the only person my age who actually goes to church, maybe I should just stop going, give my weekly collection to Planned Parenthood, go marry my divorced boyfriend on the beach and have babies (just two and then a vasectomy -- no litter for me!) that I will send -- oh, the horrors!-- to public school.
We need to all just focus on loving Jesus and doing the best we can. Because judging who's better is hurting our church. That's why no one goes anymore. It's not about picking and choosing what you want from your religion; it's about feeling like you don't belong because you don't agree with a rule some MAN made somewhere along the line.
The reason that I haven't really given thought to marrying a divorced man without an annulment is because I do believe that person is still married (what God has joined together, let no man separate), and I really do try to do my best with the Ten Commandments. You know, the rules that God Himself gave to us?
I have struggled with a lot lately. And for every step closer I get to feeling like I belong in my church, I get pushed away again. I'm scared for my faith right now, and I don't like that because I LOVE my faith. I don't love the man who sits in the little chair in Rome and encourages us to judge our brothers and sisters in Christ, but I do love my Church. I love Jesus, Mary, the saints and all the tradition. I don't want to leave.
Of course, the only time I ever left was for several months after the 2004 election. I felt like John Kerry was singled out and judged by the entire U.S. Council for Catholic Bishops, and I stopped going to church after the election. Dropped out of the choir, stopped working with the youth group, and just walked away.
I don't want to feel like I don't belong again. And no one should ever feel that way.
Someone asked me today how I can be Catholic and support Barack Obama. This person brought up the dreaded a-word.
Anyone who's read my blog for more than a week knows that the Catholic church and I don't agree on everything, but it's the only church I got. And, even if the Pope himself tries to run me off with his little scepter, I'm not going anywhere.
David Wilhelm, who has been one of my personal heroes since I met him way back in 1995, once spoke to the Christian Coalition. This is an excerpt of that speech:
I believe and trust in Jesus Christ, and I am a Democrat.
I am a Christian, and I am also a Democrat.
Now, I am no preacher. I am no great theologian. I try not to take myself too seriously.
But I do take my faith seriously.
And like most Americans, I believe strongly that God and faith are not and can not be the province of one political party or movement.
No party has a corner on the allegiance of the community of believers.
However inconvenient it might be, God is an Independent.
And no entity can claim to speak for all persons who believe in Christ and consider themselves to be Christians.
I don't believe that Jesus is a Republican or Democrat. I don't believe that he thinks either of these candidates are particularly good or bad. In all honesty, I believe Jesus would be appalled with our nation for many, many reasons. So, I just have to have hope and vote based on what I want America to look like. And, no, I don't want anyone to kill the babies. But I don't want them to kill the prisoners either. I want everyone to have food and a warm home. I don't want my cousin to be sick because she lost her job and couldn't get health insurance until it was too late and she had cancer. I think America is the greatest country in the world, and I think we're better than that.
I don't truly believe anyone is for abortion. And yes, I understand Catholics should think abortion is bad. And I do. But not everyone's Catholic, and I don't want anyone's religion to dictate our country's policy. Because believe you and me, if churches start calling the shots in this country, it won't be the Catholic Church. Those fundamentalists might hate the baby killers and the lesbians, but they hate Catholics just as much. Don't fool yourself about that.
As a political scientist, I realize that abortion and gay marriage are "wedge issues," and I'm not taking the bait. And besides, I don't like that my best friend is treated like a second-class citizen. I don't like that he feels like his church abandoned him, and I'm not giving up my faith without a fight.
I'm not perfect. I believe in stem-cell research. Yeah, I said it. Stem-cells could help me have healthy babies. How the hell could I be against that? And yes, I realize that's a little selfish. But, I'd also love for paralyzed people to walk again and for Parkinson's disease to go away, so I'm not entirely selfish.
And, for the most part, I agree with the church. I've never even thought about an abortion (of course, I also swear by birth control, so maybe my seat in hell is already saved). I told my divorced boyfriend to get an annulment before he asked me to marry him. So, I'm not a complete godless heathen. But no one's perfect, and I just think we all need to stop judging people.
I truly believe that abortion can't be the only issue. It just can't. I can't choose a war-monger and a woman who shoots polar bears out of helicopters over someone who wants people to earn a fair wage and have affordable health care. And, besides, exactly how many abortions has Barack Obama had and/or performed?!?
Why was the crazy John McCain volunteer who carved a B in her face and blamed it on an imaginary black man (I realized it was a horse shit story right away, unlike Matt Drudge. Idiot.) wearing a Tennessee Volunteers hoodie when she got arrested? She's from Texas; she was in Pittsburgh. Why UT?
The whole thing is ludicrous. It actually makes me physically sick to know that someone did that trying to win an election. Even though it took me a while to warm up to Obama, I think he is exactly what America needs right now. Maybe we all need to be thrown into the deep end of the pool of tolerance.
... Opie!!! If you haven't seen this video with Ron Howard, Andy Griffith and Henry Winkler talking about the election, take a few minutes to check it out.
The good news: my magazine is finished, my newsletter is finished, all my brochures are finished, I can breathe at work, my family has already gone home and I get to go on vacation in about 2 weeks and 4 hours (I'm counting the part where I go to Atlanta, although that is literally crashing on Mike's couch for a few hours before I have to go to the airport).
The bad news: Toyland starts holiday hours today, and while we have allegedly hired new people, I can still only think of one other girl who really knows how to run the service desk. So, needless to say, I'm a little frightened about my life between now and Dec. 28.
I have been neglecting this blog. I'm way too busy. I see you stop by, and I am disappointing you by not telling you about my life.
The highlights:
I feel fat, and I'm about to spend a week in a swimsuit.
I am excited about my trip, especially the part where I bring back enough rum to get me through the next year.
Speaking of rum and trips, I'm a little grumpy with someone, and I'm just not sure when I'll be un-grumpy. Probably the next time I wake up and he is in my bed with me. So, needless to say, it might be a while.
I have started my new group at church, and it is nice to be meeting new people and learning about stuff.
Did I mention I am excited about vacation?
I had a good time with my family, but it wore me out. I had to work at Toyland all weekend and clean on my brief pit stops at the house. (It's still a mess, but that's another story.) We enjoyed ourselves, and it wasn't enough time. I can't wait to spend another three days with them at Christmas. I'll be glad when I can cut Toyland loose and spend more time with my family. I am thinking of flying up in January for a long weekend, since Toyland won't need me then.
I have things I want to write. I want to tell you all about my cat, Portia, and why she lives with me. I want to put together some observations from retail hell in time for holiday shopping season. I just keep running out of time.
In the comments of my last post, Rosalie said "See you at the Ferry Dock." In honor of that comment, here is today's picture of the day. In an unrelated note (OK, not really), the song of the day is Boat Drinks by Jimmy Buffett.
It was dark, nasty and raining when we arrived last time, so I borrowed this picture from News of St. John. I hope he doesn't mind. Go tell him I sent you!
My grandma, aunt and mom are coming a few days next week. I need to figure out what to do with them Monday. I'm taking the day off to spend it with them.
I have had a personal epiphany, but I'm not ready to share it yet. I will say this: No more emotional blackmail, but no more feeling like I have to put up with certain shit because nothing better will come along. If this is the best there is, it will work out. If not, then when I'm ready, something better will fit into my life. Being physically alone every fucking night is not worse than being emotionally alone, especially after you crank out a couple of kids and have a mortgage payment. There are just too many unanswered questions.
It's like I told someone the other day (whom I suspect was fucking with me): I'm sick of people fucking with me. I'm just over it. I just don't have the time or energy for people who take, take, take and have nothing to give. For people who expect me to drop everything for them, but I am not even a b-list priority for them. Done.
And, lastly, I just wanted you all to know that I am not cleaning iguana shit off the pool deck next month. Not happening. I might cook on vacation, but I'm not cleaning up after giant, green lizards. With teeth. And poky things on their backs.
I checked my MySpace for the first time in weeks because I had new friend requests. But I didn't know them, so I didn't approve them. Funny how that works. I still haven't checked my facebook, even though I know I have people there who want to be my friend. It's just not my bag. I'll go in and approve them eventually -- as soon as I remember my password.
Vacation's in less than a month. I'm already packed for the most part, because I wanted to make sure everything fit in my suitcase -- it does. I'm really looking forward to it. I need a vacation big time.
My magazine was put to bed yesterday, and I tore out of work an hour early because I worked on Sunday. We had our national convention for work in Nashville this week. It was great.
I cooked my own pumpkins and freezed them for Thanksgiving pies. I also bought a table runner and some candles so I can be festive when everyone shows up at my house.
Nothing too much else going on. I just can't wait for vacation. I need it.
