Does anybody read these?

Friday, July 27, 2007

So, it's like riding a bike...

Actually, it is riding a bike, and I'm a little rusty at that too.

Basically the moral of the story is that the Land of Misfit Toys is having a huge sale on all their clearance merchandise this week. And that includes bicycles.

I've been meaning to get a bicycle, and I figure now is the time. I'm very excited about this, because I really do need to lose weight, and this will help. I used to love riding my bike.

Hopefully I won't kill myself. Really for the price, I can't beat it. Also, assembly is free for employees, which I never knew.

If any of you need a ridiculously inexpensive bicycle, there is a girls' bike there that is only $30 BEFORE the 15% off. It's just too tall for me.

Anyhow, I'll keep you posted on the adventures of me and my bicycle.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

So, this is new...

Over the past few days, there have been a few times where I've gotten all excited because my phone has told me that I had a text message. My excitement quickly dissipates when I realize that my text message is actually ...


Telemarketers are annoying. Spam in my e-mail is also annoying. However, I can hang up on my phone and I can delete my email.

Sending me text messages costs me money. And that pisses me off. I'm not paying for someone to spam me. It's not happening.

I couldn't figure out why this came out of the blue. I'd never gotten spam texts before. I don't even know how spammers figured out how to send spam texts. There was even a recent TV news blurb about spam texts, so I guess it's not just me.

I did some sleuthing and find out that the new capabilities of the iPhone help people send spam texts, because computers can't do it. That's nice.

On the plus side, the iPhone is surprisingly small, and it plays music. That makes it worth it. Really.

It isn't a huge issue right now. I've only gotten two spam texts, and I'm not going to go over on texts this month. But do you really think this phenomenon is not going to grow? And what about the people who pay for each text they get, like my mom?

I really want to reply to the texts and tell the people to fuck off and double-dog dare them to spam me again, but I worry that it's like e-mail. Many times e-mail spammers don't know they have a good address until someone responds, and then that makes it worse.

Anyone know anything about this? Anyone have any tips?

And, just for kicks and giggles, I think I'm going to e-mail T-mobile and ask them what steps they plan to take to keep this from being a problem.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

No freaking joke...

This is my horoscope for today.

I really couldn't make this stuff up. Honest.

It doesn't really matter how fast you are trying to go, for you are dependent on circumstances outside of your control. The most sensible strategy is to slow yourself down before someone else does it for you. It may be frustrating trying to overcome the current resistances head-on. Instead, relax and let the events themselves dictate the speed at which you move.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007


First, I was drunk; then, I was hungover.

I took a nap and finally managed to keep down some solid food, and my disposition seems to have improved.

This was, of course, after I spilled a cup of coffee on my desk.

Anyhow, life is not terrible. I just hit a little speed bump, and you know what? Speed bumps are not always bad. This one isn't.

I totally overreacted and misread something and then bitched and moaned like a whiny baby.

It's all good now...


How can everything go from really awesome to total shit in around 30 hours?

Well, chances are pretty damn good that I'm involved when that happens.

Things really suck right now, and I'm kind of sad about it. I also don't know if I should be a complete and total asshole or just let go.

I'm leaning towards just walking away while I still can.

I'm giving up, just in case you were wondering. I should know better to try by now.

And no, I'm not telling any of you what this means. At all. Hell, I'm not even positive I know what it means.

I'll just sit here and say, "What the fuck?" for a few days, and that should help.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Forecast: Sunny

I'm not in a bad mood anymore. I had an excellent Margaritas and Senoritas Monday.

The tequila helped.

But the fun ended long after the buzz subsided.

I made a new friend. I stayed up way too late, and now I'm dragging ass.

I started my new diet today. I had a big salad. Actually, this is like a fake-o diet until I go hard core next week. Meaning that this week's diet is not so strict that I can't eat my favorite Lean Cuisines. Next week will be a different story, but I want to look hot.

For me. And I threw a box of cookies in the trash. (OK, there weren't many cookies left, but they'll never see my ass, so this is good.)

I'm really busy right now, but lots of work means less time to get my vacation money saved.

Oh, and I love cell phone companies because it's free to call people in the middle of the night, although I suspect at some point I'm going to need to sleep.

Song of the day, "Raining on Sunday" by Keith Urban. Yes, there's a reason. And no, I'm not telling y'all.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Grumpy Gus

I'm in a really bad mood ... about just about everything.

I have to work a lot this weekend, but I can use the money, so that's OK.

When I'm not at work, I think I need to be at home. I really need to get all my ducks in a row, as much as I'd rather not be there.

I just have to keep reminding myself that it'll all work out, although it may not be on my time schedule.

I don't have much else to say. I just want to sleep, but instead I have to go to Toy Hell. And work there all night and go back first thing in the morning. I am so excited I'm really surprised that I can restrain myself.

I wish I would've felt this funky a few hours ago, because I'd totally be taking a mental health day this evening. But I didn't.

Thursday, July 12, 2007


...Bill Clinton should've just ordered Monica Lewinsky to not testify and call it "executive privilege."

Is anyone else distressed that our president somehow seems to think that he and the entire executive branch of government is above the law.

Bill Clinton got impeached for getting a blow job.

Our current president is spinning out of control and destroying the integrity of our nation.

Where's Kenneth Starr now?

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

The more he talks...

... the less I like him.

I have never, ever before in my life doubted my faith and my Church. Not when priests were molesting children, not when I watched friends turned away. I may have disagreed, but I remained strong.

Enter Pope Benedict.

For the first time in my life, I wonder if I'm where I'm supposed to be. He is doing everything in his power to undo Vatican II. First it was the Latin mass. Then yesterday he has single-handedly undone decades of ecumenicalism by saying that Catholicism is the one true church and all other Christian religions are "defective."

Is this asshole even from Earth? I know he's from Germany and used to be a Nazi. Maybe that explains it all.

I hate that I think the leader of my church is a big, giant asshole and that I hope that he passes on because that's the only way we can get a new pope. Is that awful? Yeah, it is, and I know that. But how can one man be allowed to undo decades of good will in such a short time?

I really hate that I so strongly dislike this man. But I disliked him when he was Cardinal Ratzinger and caused all the backlash against John Kerry, and I dislike him more now. (Oh, and just FYI, the only time I have ever deliberately chosen not to go to church and struggled with my faith before was in 2004 after I saw how Kerry was treated by his brothers and sisters in the Lord. Coincidence? Probably not.)

I don't always go with the flow where my religion is concerned. I love being Catholic and I love God, Jesus and the blessed Virgin Mary. I am a good Catholic, for the most part.

And I worry that my church is going to abandon me, and I don't know where I'll go.

And I hate that.

And much like that evil, nasty nun that we had in grade school, I'm starting to form a great dislike for the Holy Father. In fact, I cringe to call him that. I think I'm just going to call God that from now on.

I know he's just a man, and I can't go to hell for disliking him. He's human, and not really infalliable at all. I get that. But I still feel awful because I wish he'd go far, far away and shut up.

Monday, July 09, 2007

I feel bad saying this...

I don't like the pope.

Not one little bit. I'd like to think that doesn't make me a bad Catholic, but I'm not sure.

Every thing he comes up with is worse than the thing before.

Now he's encouraging the traditionalist whack-jobs to bully their priests into saying Latin mass.

Not to be an asshole, but I think that Vatican II was a very good thing for the church. Latin mass is divisive and I don't really know how anyone gets anything out of it, being that they can't understand it and all. I do badly enough when I have to go to Spanish mass and I hold my own with that language.

If my mass suddenly switches to Latin, I'm not sure what I'd do. I know I wouldn't go nearly as much. (Not like I ever get there now. I'm actually looking forward to Christmastime when I can work 3 to 10 on Sundays...)

I just feel like we're going backwards, and I'm fearful for my church.

Friday, July 06, 2007


So, I designed an invitation for a co-worker's baby shower this week. I thought it was cute, but it defintely was not my best work.

My boss calls me into her office and says, "Did you make this?"

I tell her yes and ask if it's OK.

She says, "Yeah, I thought that after all that work you put into it that they'd gone and used pre-printed paper instead."

That's a pretty big compliment. Next career move: Hallmark?

Just kidding. Design work stresses me out too much...

So, about those fireworks...

People keep asking me about my last post, so I figured I'd elaborate a little bit.

I was just waiting for a phone call anyhow.

You see, I met a boy Tuesday. A cute one. Who seems to like me. Maybe even more than I like him, which I'm pretty sure has never happened in the history of Laura liking boys.

But I didn't want to tell you until he called me, because I was worried that he wouldn't.

He did, but now that means I have to obsess over when he calls me again. Or if...

See, this is why I don't date.

I had written this big, long play-by-play for my blog, and then I realized that maybe I don't want to be that public about my life. I guess I just see potential here, and if there really is potential, I don't know that I want the entire blogosphere to have a play-by-play of those first early moments when were getting to know each other.

Here's the highlight reel:

He's adorable. He's sweet. He seems to like me an awful lot. I met him Tuesday night when I accidentally waved at him at the bar, thinking he was someone else. He came over to introduce himself, and the rest, as they say, is history.

I figured after I left Tuesday night that I'd never see him again. First of all, he was just in town for a few days, and secondly I figured it was just one of those one-time deals where you drink a little too much and get a little too cozy with a stranger.

But he came back Wednesday and we watched the fireworks together. If a guy wants to impress me and make a date really romantic, fireworks are a sure bet.

To sum it all up, I'm really hoping this is the beginning of something great. However, I'm still cautiously optimistic. There's a distance issue, and really how well do you know someone after spending two days with them. When we parted ways Wednesday night, I likened it to when you meet a really cool person on spring break, and you wonder if you'll ever see them again when you leave.

I don't know, but there are no guarantees in life. It's been a long time since someone looked at me like they cared about me. It's been a long time since someone sent electricity running through my body just by holding my hand. And you know what? I've kind of missed it.

So right now, I have all my fingers and toes crossed that I won't be going back to my posts about how I'm a bitter, hostile spinster anytime soon...

Thursday, July 05, 2007


I saw fireworks last night.

I'm sure I'll have more to say later about that.

OK, maybe ... I can be such a tease sometimes, can't I?

Sunday, July 01, 2007

A few more things...

I forgot some things.

I found coconut tequila in Okeechobee. Selina's liquor store has every kind of tequila you could imagine. I'm just not sure it made it home OK because I haven't unpacked yet.

Lake Okeechobee is huge when you look at it on the map of Florida, but this drought has been hard on it. It's pretty dried up, and all the canals to it are empty. The main industry there is tourism, so they obviously need a lake. Please pray that they get rain without the destruction of a major hurricane.

I got an awesome Cuban sandwich in Miami. I liked Miami even though it's hot and the traffic blows.

JR Gators not only has gator bites (yummy!), but you can get a bucket (yes, a bucket!) of Cruzan voodoo juice for $8. Yum! And just what I needed during my very stressful wedding-planning week!

When I get married I'm going to Vegas, and I'll tell y'all about it when I get back, OK?

I'm home...

So, I'm back. And I didn't blog at all. I didn't check my e-mail, and currently I am procrastinating on checking my online banking because I spent way too much money last week.

(By the way, for those who wanted me to blog, I read in a poll in Glamour on the plane that blogging from vacation is very uncool. Who would I be to be uncool?)

Monday after work I rushed over to Suki's (the lady who does all my alterations) and grabbed the extra fabric from my dress so mom could make dad one of those things to tuck into his suit pocket. After that, I came home and packed and was in bed by 10 p.m. because I had to leave at 4 a.m. to get to the airport. (Damn time change!) I flew out of Chattanooga to save about $250, but I'm not sure how convenient it was. Probably next time I'll get a hotel nearby so I don't have to make that drive so early in the morning -- especially if I pulled a muscle in my back.

Florida is hotter than a mother, and I thought I lived in the South. You've never seen humidity like that before in your life. I picked up my rental car, but I was so frazzled trying to find it that I left my suitcase in the little courtyard outside the airport. Thank goodness I found it before TSA did and blew it up.

Florida is also pretty damn long. Estela decided to meet me in Miami, so I didn't have to stop in Okeechobee to pick her up. That meant a four-hour drive from Orlando. Wow, I just drove and drove. And while I was close to the ocean, I never even saw it that first day. And the traffic. Traffic in Miami is insane. And it's always insane, even at 11 p.m. Wild.

We went to the Marlins game on Tuesday, and I learned that Marlins sounds a lot like Tuesday (which it was) in Spanish. Just don't ask, "Why does he keep saying 'Martes'?" Everyone will laugh at you.

Wednesday we woke up late, and then ran wedding errands. Finally I spent two hours at the beach, which I thought was well-deserved. I didn't drive all that way to not see the ocean. Of course, that evening I met up with Rosanne on Hollywood Beach for supper and we had a great time. There was fresh seafood and Key lime pie, but no rum. The restaurant was pricy, but it was absolutely delicious.

After dinner, I drove back to Okeechobee, where I realized that there are still places in the world where my cell phone won't work. Luckily Estela met me at Family Dollar and got me to her house.

Thursday was spent running around Okeechobee with more wedding errands. We worked on the very cool wedding favors. After several delays due to weather, my parents arrived around 3 p.m. A few of the girls who were already in town went to West Palm Beach for dinner, and then we went shopping. Not that I should be spending money, but I got a Liz Claiborne top and the cutest capri jeans for $18.

Friday was more wedding errands, and then I got a little bit of "me" time. I got my nails done and spent an hour by the pool before I went to the rehearsal dinner. We had it right at the resort, and it was a lot of fun. It was nice to see many of my relatives that I hadn't seen for a while. Just about everyone was in town.

After the dinner, a whole bunch of us went to this cowboy bar called 8 Seconds. It was pretty dead, and I had to pay a cover. We all know that I don't pay covers at bars. I just don't have to. Oh well. I was having fun until it suddenly transformed into a dance club that was no longer playing honkytonk music. I was so tired from the week's excitement that I fell asleep sitting at the table while everyone else danced. But it was fun.

I crashed at the hotel, not even remembering falling asleep. The next morning, I got up at 7, had mom press my dress and headed to Estela's to get ready. It was a lot of fun, but we did have some excitement when my aunt's rental car broke down at Wal-mart. We finally found Estela's brother, Adam, who is a mechanic, and he helped us out.

The wedding was beautiful. We all looked wonderful, and it was amazing to see the blending of the two cultures. There were many times that my Spanish-language skills were tested over the week. My dancing skills were also tested, but I think I did OK. The food was amazing, although we had some blips getting everything ready for the reception, including me threatening to punch a lady who worked at the hall. I was just exhausted from the week and didn't need one more thing to go wrong. I left the reception a little early to go back to the hotel and pack because I had to leave at 4 a.m. today to get to the airport.

On the way to the airport I got a little lost and almost missed my flight. I really hope that I did the after-hours check-in for the rental car OK, because I just shoved my keys in there and ran with three bags to the check-in counter. I made it just in the nick of time, but I may have shouted "I'm coming, please let me check in" through tears across the terminal. I got there just in time to board, and then a few hours later I was home.

I took my back medicine and slept, and now here I am.

I know I'm missing so much, but I wanted to give you an update. I took a few pictures, but y'all know that I am not very good at remembering to take pictures.

It was a lot of hard work, but we've added a wonderful woman to our family. I'm so lucky to finally have a sister, and it seems like we've known each other forever. I also saw many friends that I haven't seen for so long.

Now it's back to reality, and I'm totally not ready for that. It'll be OK. I just need to stay close to home this week. I haven't seen my schedule at the Land of Misfit Toys, but I'm hoping they were really kind to me.

Not that I couldn't use the money ... I still haven't gotten the courage to look at my online banking yet...