Does anybody read these?

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Another letter...

Dear Margarita Bucket inventor,

Hello friend. I hope this letter finds you well. I am doing just fiiiinnee since I found out about your frozen boozy concoction.

Margarita buckets make it easy to always have a tasty treat in the fridge. For example, this evening I fired up the grill, grabbed a solo cup of fun out of the bucket, and here I am now writing this note.

I don't know where you got the idea to invent the margarita bucket, but you truly have made this single girl's day.

At Target the other day, I noticed Cosmo and Mojito buckets too. Truly, you have outdone yourself.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a letter to write to your friend Jose Cuervo. (He's a real guy, right?)

Big smoochies,

Stolen from Luke's MySpace ...

Remember baby Reiston?

Here's a picture of him and his daddy with the horse.

Friday, May 25, 2007

Open letter ...

... to that asshole on Demonbreun in the silver luxury car who almost hit us last night.

You're so effing lucky you were driving so fast that I couldn't get your license plate number. And that you didn't kill us.

You may want to brush up on a few laws you learned in Driver's Ed, since you seem to have forgotten them. Or maybe you were in a big hurry to something much more important than our lives.

Personally, I'd hate to be the dick that hit any pedestrian, but it'd really suck to hit a blind girl and her dog, who didn't even know you were tearing through traffic like that. There is no excuse to ever fly down Music Row like that.

Intersections Without Signal — When there are no traffic signals or if they are not operating, drivers must yield the right-of-way, slowing or stopping if necessary, for a
pedestrian crossing within a crosswalk.

The Blind Pedestrian With White Cane Or Seeing-Eye Dog — When there are no
traffic signals or if they are not operating, drivers must yield the right-of-way, slowing or stopping if necessary, for a pedestrian crossing within a crosswalk.Whenever a totally or partially blind pedestrian is crossing or attempting to cross a public street or highway guided by a guide dog or carrying in a raised or extended position a cane or walking stick which is metallic or white in color or white tipped with red, the driver of every vehicle approaching shall take such precautions as may be necessary to avoid injuring or endangering the pedestrian.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Birthday fun!

I had a great birthday. My strategy the last few years has been to spread the celebration out over several days so that you don't even notice that you've gotten a year older.

So, the fun started on Thursday.

(As a side note, I was doing really good with that whole 31 days thing. We learned that I am not an alcoholic; I don't need to be drunk to have fun; and people love me, even when I'm sober. But you'll notice I used past tense here...)

We went to Crossroads to see Jewels Thursday. That was fun. Some tourist from Minnesota bought us drinks, so we drank them. I accidentally had a little too much whiskey and Kay had to drive me home. Yay, Kay!

On Friday, I rushed home from work to change my clothes and meet Kay before the Tim McGraw show at the Ryman. Kay told me she was bringing me a birthday present, but I never expected it to be Amy, who had come down from Indiana for my birthday. That was awesome. As was McGraw. He's great. I didn't drink too much Friday night.

Saturday night we went to Crossroads, and Ashley, Melissa and Jen met up with us there. Ashley and I played some fiercely competitive Mahjongg on the computer before we got too drunk to play. Then there were birthday shots, which were yummy. We had a blast. The band sang Happy Birthday and I danced with some guy I didn't know. Fun times.

Sunday morning Melissa, Jen, Ashley and I headed off to Lynchburg to tour the Jack Daniel's plant. We really enjoyed our trip and it was a beautiful day to go out to the country, and maybe even try to corral a few horses while we were at it.

After we got home, we had a birthday cookout at my house. Lots of my friends came over and we just had a great time catching up and eating rainbow birthday cupcakes! After supper, a few of us headed to Lonnie's for karaoke madness. We butchered several songs and then headed home for a late-night gab session in the kitchen. Finally at 2:30, I told people they either needed to go home or go to sleep because I had to work Monday.

I arrived at work to find a present on my desk. I love presents! The girls in the office took me out to lunch, and the folks at Applebee's made a huge fuss over me. This was partly because they bend over to kiss our asses after our little incident a few months ago.

Last night Kay and I had grand plans that didn't happen. We did go to see Glen sing at Legends, where he did a very amusing version of "Livin' Our Love Song" just for me. We didn't go out to supper, because I was still full from Applebee's. And we didn't drink, because the four days of pre-partying had pretty much done us in. Brandon called us "disappointing."

So, now it's back to reality. I have tons of things to do here at work, so that's keeping me busy. I have to work tonight and tomorrow in toy hell, and plan to spend my days off from toy hell looking for a new job that is not toy hell. We'll see how that goes.

On Friday, I have plans to get a massage. That will be nice. I took a bubble bath last night, and that did help, but Kay says I am in desperate need of a massage. She left her table in South Dakota because it didn't fit in her car when she moved, so I am going to Brandon's school. He thought I would request him, but I explained to him that I couldn't let him see me naked. I am sure I flashed him on Saturday at some point, because apparently I flashed everyone, but that's totally different ...

Friday, May 18, 2007


I logged on to rant about this new immigration policy (especially the gigantic fence between the U.S. and Mexico -- sounds beautiful), but then I realized that I just wanted to relax.

I could think about Foxy's and drinking rum here in just 18 weeks.

Or I could think about the oh-so-yummy Mr. Tim McGraw, who I will be seeing in just three short hours...

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

See ...

... why I need a flip-flop beach towel?


Recently folks have been asking me what I want for my birthday.

You should all know by now that I don't care if people buy me gifts or not. I like gifts, but I can never really think of anything I need. I've lived on my own for more than 10 years now, and I have a good job. Generally, I buy things when I want them, and I definitely buy them when I need them.

But here are some cool things I don't have that would make nice gifts, if you are so inclined.

Jason Aldean, "Relentless" (This doesn't come out until May 29, but I am willing to wait!)
Tim McGraw, "Let It Go"
Gretchen Wilson, "One of the Boys"
Miranda Lambert, "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend" (Me? Never ...)
"Hag - The Best of Merle Haggard"
Willie Nelson, Ray Price and Merle - "Last of the Breed"
(iTunes gift cards -- also nice!)

The Queen
The Holiday

Anything from Bath & Body Works makes a nice gift. I'm in to salt and sugar scrubs, especially ones that smell like margaritas.

I always love silver-colored jewelry (will not turn up my nose at white gold or platinum).

I went to Target last night, and I'm supposed to be watching my money, so I did not buy the $8 throw pillows in teal and brown that match my room that I wanted. They also have a way-cool flip-flop beach towel. Just saying if you happen to be there and are shopping.

Flowers sent to my work -- also good.

My wish list is not up-to-date, but I did delete the things that I've bought or received, so everything there would still make a nice gift. (Even the iPod, since mine is currently in the hospital. Yay, Beth!)

My Wish List

But, seriously, no one has to buy me anything. I'm content. But then again, presents never hurt anyone!

Monday, May 14, 2007


It's been a while since I posted a picture of paradise, but today I called about our trip insurance. It's finally sinking in that in 4 months and some change, we'll be here...

(I'm hoping my favorite geek will fix my 'pod so I won't be Marley-less!)

Seven days...

It's a birthday tag that I got from Myke, who got it from Elly.

Being that my birthday is next week (next week!), I thought it'd be appropriate.

1. Go to Wikipedia and put in your birthday, without the year, in the search bar.
2. List on your blog 3 events, 2 births, 1 death and 1 holiday that happens(ed) on your birthday. 3. Then tag 5 more friends to do it!

May 21

Three events:

1. 1674 - John Sobieski is elected by the szlachta to be the King of Poland. (because I'm Polish, too. Seemed appropriate!)

2. 1881 - The American Red Cross is established by Clara Barton. (Interesting, because when I was in grade school I did a paper on Clara Barton after reading a book about her at the library. I volunteered at the Red Cross for many years.)

3. 1945 - United States screen legend Humphrey Bogart marries actress Lauren Bacall. (Nothing really exciting happened on May 21, apparently, but this one looked good. Who doesn't love Bogey and Bacall? They got married in Ohio, a few hours from where my family is.)

Two births (besides me, apparently!):
1. 1951 - Al Franken, American comedian (We share not only a birthday, but similar political views.)

2. 1992 - Olivia Olson, American singer and actress (Love, Actually is one of my favorite movies.)

One death:
1935 - Jane Addams, American social worker, Nobel laureate (b. 1860)

One holiday:
Navy Day (Día de las Glorias Navales) in Chile.

May 21 kind of blows. Thank goodness I was born on that day, or y'all'd have nothing to look forward to ...

I'm supposed to tag three people ... hmmm. One4JC, Gerbera Daisy and Trying2hide, mostly because my friends are slow to the blogging world. I'm also going to throw in Andrea, for good measure!

Friday, May 11, 2007

Lunch, with side bars

I promised y'all that I would tell you about my lunch yesterday, so I should probably do that. I will warn you now that I've had another allergy attack and my right eye is pretty much useless, but it's not as bad as it usually is when this happens.

However, if there are typos and/or crazy talk, then just ignore it. I'm hopped up on drugs and can only see out of my weaker eye.

Work is calming down a little bit, just in time for me to design the next issue of our magazine. I just finished our newsletter today.

Have I ever really explained my job? I know this will be hard for some people to understand, because it does mean that I am a real, live, legitimate journalist, which you all know I've been lying about since high school. So perhaps I don't have a job at all. Actually, I'm typing this from a freeway overpass.

OK, seriously, I want to tell y'all why I've been so busy lately. My job is a communications specialist for an organization here in Tennessee. I write press releases, newsletter and magazine articles, and I do layout for two different publications and I design many of the brochures that come out of the office. We are busy all the time, and this is before our boss leaves to have a baby for two months. I am sure y'all won't hear from me then.

The reason I've been so busy lately (aside from all the things that I mentioned above), is because I had my annual awards program that I manage, which is in conjunction with our organization's big week of observances next week. Basically, I read entry forms with the life stories of 102 notable Tennesseans and wrote press releases and made certificates for all of them. Already we're starting to get some ink on the whole thing, so I'm feeling good about it, even though it engulfed weeks of my life.

Anyhow, I did manage to take time out of my busy schedule to have lunch yesterday. The girls at the office were very excited when a cute man came to pick me up and take me out to eat.

I was excited too.

I made him chocolate-chip cookies, because those were always his favorite. He remembered them and was quite excited. I gave him a "Bush's Last Day" bumper sticker and some magnet about blaming the Republicans, just because they were fun and he'd like them.

It was like we hadn't missed a beat. The only thing that was really different was that I knew that the story doesn't ever get to end the way I want it to. (Well, that and that I get to hear fun stories about a certain closeted CNN anchor at Atlanta's gay bars.) We're still the same people, and it's very nice to be on good terms again. I'm not really sure how I've managed without him in my life. I don't ever want to try again.

He'll always be Will Truman to my Grace Adler. We know each other better than we know ourselves. Still, after all these years. I worried that I'd be jealous and bitter, but I can't be. Because I can still tell that he does love me. And he tried really hard to be in love with me, but if you're not wired that way, it's not going to happen. Seriously, if anyone who reads this honestly, truly believes that people choose to be gay (I don't mean drunken sorority girls who make out with their friends, I mean really gay ...), then you should've been there yesterday.

But all that made me realize something. As you know if you've been reading here for any length of time, you know there's a boy in my life who is only around when it's convenient for him. He says that he cares about me and likes me very much, but he has a girlfriend. And I only hear from him when they are on the outs, which usually leads him to call Miss Convenient when he's done talking to me because I just remind him that he needs someone and I'm inconvenient. (How the fuck is someone with a husband and two kids convenient, I'll never know ...)

Anyhow, I realized yesterday that I am completely, totally over his bullshit. Because I am worth so much more. If a gay man can spend three years fighting genetics and still look at me to this day -- 10 years later -- like I'm the shit, then a straight guy who wants to be with me needs to be beating down my fucking door to make it happen. It's taken me a long time to realize that I do live up to the hype. If someone wants to be a part of it, they are more than welcome, but to take a line from my new favorite movie, "The Holiday," every woman needs to be the leading lady of her own life.

I'm not playing second fiddle to anyone, but especially not a tramp who thinks a man is worth more than her family. And newsflash honey, he's not.

Because if a guy thinks you're worth it, he'll move mountains to be with you. Sometimes it doesn't work out -- for whatever reason -- but we all deserve the best.

Speaking of which, I have my best friend back, and it rocks, even though his jokes about my love of whiskey are entirely inappropriate.

He's the only one who can get away with it, so don't think about it!

Song of the day: "Find Out Who Your Friends Are" by Tracy Lawrence, with special guests Tim McGraw and Kenny Chesney. If you're going to sing that song, you might as well sing with your best friends, and if it doesn't get nominated for vocal event of the year, I'm going ape.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Fingers crossed ...

From Beverly Keel's column in The Tennessean today:

Folks still wonder about Gore, too

Despite Al Gore's insistence that he doesn't think he'll ever be a candidate again, speculation also persists that, like Fred, he'll toss his hat into the presidential ring.

The New York Observer discusses Tuesday's New York reunion of Al friends being organized by Peter Knight, Al's former chief of staff. The paper spoke to hip Nashville attorney Charles W. Bone, who attended.

"I don't think there is any deliberate effort here to do (anything) other than getting together again," he tells the paper. "My suspicion is that almost everybody in that group probably has some commitments or interest in different candidates." But then that sneak adds, "My instincts say that somebody could get in this in January and turn this thing around. Or maybe even in March or April, if the initial primaries don't develop a clear candidate."

(I'll have to copy that and take it to lunch with me tomorrow. Easier than talking about what we've been avoiding for years, eh? More on lunch later ...)

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Kentucky Bluebird

As I sit here, I am listening to The Essential Keith Whitley. Ironically, "When You Say Nothing At All" is the song playing.

When I like to think of Keith, I think of that as the song that started it all.

I think I mentioned to you that I took a little break from country music during the late 80s-early 90s. It just wasn't cool for an adolescent to listen to daddy's music. Of course, now I listen to country music my daddy doesn't even remember, but it's all good.

You see, I never knew who Keith Whitley was until after he left this earth, which was 18 years ago tomorrow.

In 1994, two CDs came out. One was Lorrie Morgan's War Paint, and the other was Keith Whitley: A Tribute Album. So, two songs that were popular in 1994, when I was just getting back into country music, were "If You Came Back from Heaven" and Alison Krauss' version of "When You Say Nothing At All."

I bought that Keith Whitley tribute CD for that song. The rest, they say, is history. I listened to that CD and fell in love with Keith's music. His songs were amazing. It's not a coincidence that so many of today's modern artists -- Tim McGraw, Kenny Chesney, Chris Young, etc. -- name Keith as an inspiration.

As I listen to Keith's CD, I am mesmerized by his beautiful voice. It's quite obvious why folks called him the "Kentucky Bluebird," because his voice is as melodic as a bird's.

I hate that Keith Whitley had a demon that he just couldn't beat. I hate that he left this earth way too early, and I didn't know about him until it was way too late.

One day, I wondered aloud what the music industry would be like if Keith Whitley had not died on May 9, 1989. I said to my brother, "If Keith Whitley were alive, I bet he'd be the biggest singer out there right now."

Lance replied, "No, if Keith Whitley were alive, he'd be like Garth Brooks sitting at home on a big pile of money."

That's probably true. At least I hope that would be true. If Keith had lived through that fateful May day, I'd like to believe that he'd have gone out at the top of his game and have found the courage to escape the trappings of alcohol and the angst of a tortured poet.

Today's song of the day is "A Picture of Me Without You" by Lorrie Morgan.

I'm pretty sure that tonight at Crossroads I'll be convincing Bobby to sing "Miami, My Amy."

Monday, May 07, 2007

Today's grammar lesson

When adding y to words with a short vowel sound and one consonant at the end, the final consonant is also usually doubled, as in happy, foggy, sunny, and funny. However, when you want to add er or est to words which end in y, you first change the y to i. Have student add "y" to root words mud, fog, sun, fun. Then have them change the words by adding er and est.

Sorry, that was just driving me nuts, and I had to say something.

As you were ...

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

I stole from Andrea!

Andrea and I have had a few readers that we've suggested should get hobbies.

So, when I saw this on her blog, I had to steal it. She thought it was funny because she doesn't cook, but I love to cook.

It's getting a little warm for casseroles, but I might have to whip one up. They're so easy...

Take Up A Resourceful Hobby

You want to be doing something tangible that matters, and you want to do it with the stuff you have. You're concerned about saving everything, from time to knowledge to stuff, and don't like throwing any of it away.

Our Potentially Ridiculous Hobby Suggestion For You:
Baking Casseroles
Learn to make cassaroles! They use every type of food, and you can usually uneaten portions to enjoy at a much later date.

Take up a hobby at!
Your scores:

Just another Manic Monday ...

Does anyone else remember that song or am I showing how super old I am? I loved Susannah Hoffs. Whatever happened to her?

Anyway, my Monday was very interesting.

I have plenty to do at work this week, so if this is the last you see of me, don't panic. I'll be back soon enough.

Last night I'd planned to stay home and do work to catch up/get ahead, but I got an e-mail from Glen saying that Timmy was in town and playing with him, so I had to make an appearance. It was nice to see Timmy.

Before I went down there, I decided I wanted sloppy joes for supper. And then I wanted corn on the cob to go with them. So I went to the produce store. And they had green tomatoes, so I made fried green tomatoes. I gave them to Alexis since she's been asking for them. I'd have made them Saturday if I'd realized the produce store was already getting them. It's going to be a great summer!

I hadn't gotten to the bar yet when I get a text that says "Is CT at the wrestling thing?" I'd remembered Kelly had told me they couldn't come for the WWE match at the GEC because of vacation, but I figured that I'd double check. I texted Carter, but he was at work, so no wrestling for him. That's very unfortunate, because a good time was had by all on Broadway last night.

I found parking with relative ease, although I did have to pay for it, and that pissed me off. Normally on Monday I can get a spot on the street.

I arrived at Legends and hopped on a bar stool. Brandon comes over and asks what I'm drinking.

L: "I'm on the wagon, Brandon."
B: "How long for this time? A day again?"
L: "Nope. I'm going to try to not drink for 31 days."
B: "Why?"
L: "Because I can. Apparently this is how you prove you're not an alcoholic."
B: "You're not an alcoholic."
L: "I know that, but apparently everyone's not so sure. I don't have to drink. I don't even want to drink right now. That makes me not an alcoholic."
B: "OK, I only see you drunk, but I see a lot of drunks, and I'm positive you're not an alcoholic."
L: "I know I'm not, but I'm still shooting for 31 days. Just to prove a point. If I make it until my birthday I'll consider it a success."
B: "OK."
L: "But I don't need to drink. I'll take a ginger ale."

So, really I passed the test. Because honestly, I did wonder if I could go to bars and see my friends play and not drink. Or not even want to drink. And, I did. So already I'm a success. I did get a little feeling when I saw that big bottle of Crown Royal on the bar. I'm sure it was sad that it didn't make it into my ginger ale last night. But I didn't want it. I don't have to have it. No cravings. No grumpiness. No struggles about being in a bar and not drinking. Simply put, I am not addicted to alcohol.

Do I like to have fun? Yes. And nine times out of ten when I end up drunk, it's because I've deliberately set out to get drunk that evening. Is that good? Not particularly, but it doesn't happen very often. It's really reserved for special occasions like finding out the only man you ever loved likes guys or meeting someone who works for Jack Daniels and buys you free drinks. (Although honestly that JD thing kind of set the groundwork for the sobriety thing.)

Am I going to make it until the end of May? Maybe. Maybe not. Am I never drinking again? Nope.

Is it nice to take a little break to make sure you're not a drunk? Sure, it is. Was it a little odd to see how many people obviously think that I am a drunk based on my "congrats on getting sober" messages? Oh yeah.

I think the only bad part about not drinking in a bar so far has been that I was fully aware when a very old man decided to hit on me last night. When you're sober, an old man with his hand on your ass is not very amusing ...