Does anybody read these?

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Oh, by the way...

On Sunday, January 7, my beloved alma mater will be traveling to Mobile to compete in the GMAC Bowl. Since it's only 6 hours away, needless to say, I will be there with bells on!

Go 'Cats!

No coffee?

So, I'm trying very hard to get to work on time because apparently certain people have gotten antsy because no one is here right at 8 a.m. I am not a morning person. I am pretty honest about that. I hate mornings. In my ideal world, I'd be allowed to work noon - 8 p.m. But unfortunately, life is not that kind. So, I get up every day somewhere in the region of 6 a.m. - 6:30 a.m. I only live 10 minutes from the office (on a good day!), so I don't even bother making coffee at home before I leave. But I grab a cup of coffee before I even get to my desk. One day Crystal saw me at 8:20 with no coffee, and I think she almost passed out. Generally I don't get upstairs without a big cuppa Joe in my hand.

So, today I get here at 7:58. Life is grand. I am early. Woo-hoo. I stumbled into the kitchen and the coffee pot is empty.

No coffee. Aggghhhh!!!!

Someone has to make it, so I drag out the filters, grounds and water pitcher and fire up the Java machine. I make my breakfast Lean Pocket and head up to my desk. A few minutes later, I went downstairs and poured myself a cup of coffee. (Sidebar: There is a holiday mint chocolate truffle creamer. Yummmmm.)

I finally got settled at 8:07 a.m. So much for being early. And I was so mixed up from the lack of proper caffeination that I totally left my bag sitting in the kitchen. I didn't notice until I went to take my cold medicine. (Another sidebar: Tylenol Sinus Decongestion and Pain pills ROCK! Miracle drug!)

On the plus side, I've gotten loads accomplished already this morning. Despite the 10 million Hershey's Kisses at my house, I have started the diet back up today. I am even writing down all my food -- at least until I get all crazy about it. I'm really not supposed to do that. I'm also not supposed to have a scale in my house, but since I can't get to TOPS meetings anytime soon, I'm going to go buy one. My friend Kali and I were talking the other night over dinner and I mentioned that I needed to buy a scale, and she said that she had one but she wasn't supposed to have one. Needless to say, that ended up being a very interesting conversation. Actually, almost accidentally, I've been talking to a lot of people who have food issues lately. I am most likely going to blog more about it soon, because I'm at a place in my life again where I need to talk about it. All my normal issues have come to the surface lately, and we all know that talking about them is probably the best way to deal with them.

I need to join a gym, but it'll probably be after the holidays when my life slows down a little bit. I have debated quitting my wonderful job at the land of the misfit toys, but then I realize that it'd be nice to get ahead a little and afford things I really don't need, but really want -- like Bob Seger tickets. I'm also debating whether or not I join a gym or if I just buy a treadmill for my house. Honestly, after reading the paragraph above this one, I think I'd be better suited to join a gym. I can always work out at home if I need to, especially now that my walking DVDs are on Comcast OnDemand. I'll probably wait until next year then, because Y membership is income-based and I didn't have much income in 2006.

Oh, and I can still have four Hershey Kisses a day as a snack. Luckily last night I bought four different kinds, so I can have one of each! Yay!

Wednesday, November 29, 2006


I went to Walgreen's tonight to get some pantyhose because my boss mentioned that they were buy one, get one free there. Of course, no one ever went into Walgreens to just buy pantyhose, now did they? Especially not if they've had PMS and a cold (or maybe it's sinuses) for two days. So, I'm grumpy, and I want chocolate and I'm in Walgreens.

I don't think I told you about the candy cane Hershey's Kisses I got last week. They are yummy. They were on sale. In fact, all Hershey's Kisses were on sale. I got the candy cane ones, plus Cherry Cordial, Caramel and Macademia Nut. I think the cherry cordial are my favorite. Luckily I have two roommates to share with, and Kay says she'll have some this weekend when she gets here.

So, Friday is Kay's birthday. My present to her is that I'm taking her to see Jason Michael Carroll and Keith Anderson at the Wildhorse. That'll be fun. Jason sings the song "Alyssa Lies" and is friends with my friend Bobby. I am excited to see him live, and I think Kay is going to enjoy her present. I hope she likes her card; I was trying to be funny.

Tonight Ashley and I went for our weekly happy-hour gathering. Usually we try to go Thursday for shepherd's pie at Market Street, but I have to work tomorrow night. It was fun, but I'm pretty sure I ate way too much bread. Now that I think about it, I should've picked up the tab to celebrate her new job, but since I just thought of that, it's safe to say that didn't happen. Oops. I'll get her a drink on Saturday night.

Did I mention that I've been sick? It really hit me out of nowhere. I got up Tuesday to go to work and started throwing up, and I had to wait a couple of hours before I could go in. That sucked. Someone didn't think it was funny when I accused him of giving me cooties. Boys! Everyone knows they all have cooties!

I have to go next week to get my broken tooth fixed. I told my new dentist's office that I'm terrified of the dentist, and they said it wasn't an issue, so I really hope that's true. I have a suspicion that having gone over a year without dental insurance, he could find all kinds of things in my mouth. Hopefully I won't go broke trying to get it all fixed.

Life is relatively boring right now. I'm working on a project at work that's been a little bit challenging, but I think they are going to like the final product.

Oh, and the song of the day is "Kiss You on the Mouth" by Danielle Peck.

Monday, November 27, 2006

I hate Monday!

So, I think I've figured out the iPod. At least I seem to be able to shut it off and not waste all the battery. And I seem to be able to play my music at work. We'll see if it all really works. Oh, and a little bird told me that on the newest version of iTunes, you can transfer Windows media files into AACs (the sound files that iPods use), so that means that all the CDs on my hard drive aren't worthless once I get all upgraded at home! Oh, and I was a little worried about installing iTunes on the work computer ... until I got it downloaded and it showed me all the LimeWire tunes our IT person had downloaded onto our server. If that's not against the rules, I think that listening to your own legally-purchased music on your iPod is OK. Of course, he is no longer our IT person now. (But I doubt they knew about the Limewire thing!)

I'm about to dive into a big story, and I'm pretty excited. It's nice to feel like a "real" writer again; even though now that I write all the time, I neglect the blog. Really that has more to do with Christmas in retail than the writing. I don't really have to work there, but it'd be a big gap to fill if I left, and it's really too close to Christmas to do that. And 99 percent of the time, it's not a bad job. It's just when people yell at me about "lying" about Nintendo Wii systems or expect me to personally fix a Power Wheel that their kid busted all to hell, that I really dislike working there. And, of course, I recently realized while training some new folks that I take my intelligence for granted. I just assumed that everyone on earth had basic skills, and they don't. It raises the question: If you can't make change, why would you want to be a cashier at a department store? Just tossing that out there ...

So, I don't dislike the new mattress, even though it is much firmer than I would've chosen for myself. Yes, I know it has a pillow top, but it still feels like a rock to me. Maybe it'll get better as it's less new. I guess the worst thing about it is that I have this big, giant bed and it's just me in it ...

Well, it's back to work now. I think I'm going to go on the lookout for another cup of coffee. Two just isn't cutting it this morning. I'm exhausted from the non-stop work this weekend. (Well, I did stop enough to do a little shopping and cleaning, but resting has been out of the question.)

Song of the Day? That's an easy one. "Jackson," by Johnny and June Carter Cash. My version's the one by Joaquin and Reese from Walk The Line, but that's OK. Oh, and Dustin has informed me that it's actually about a different Jackson, but that's OK, too. I like the part where it says: "I'm goin' to Jackson, I'm gonna mess around."

Oh, and just to clarify. I'm allowed to go to Jackson. I was just told I'm not allowed to stay. Well, by almost everyone, anyway...

Saturday, November 25, 2006

More later...

I worked from 6 p.m. - 12:30 a.m. on Friday, and 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. today. Afterward my mom, her sisters and I went shopping to buy some new things for my house. I have a real mattress and an end table, plus some new towels and a TV remote. So, it's not all bad.

Trying to figure out the ipod, but I'm afraid I'm not very smart about it. Thank goodness I have geeks on standby! I'll have to get all the kinks worked out. It's just not turning off on its own and the battery is running out pretty quickly. Any pointers?

Tomorrow I work 7 a.m. - 3 p.m. That's icky, so I guess I need to go to bed to wake up at -- eek -- 5:30. Seriously, what sick bastard thought that was a good idea. I probably need to go in early to get my Toys for Tots totals for the week. Urggh.

It's been a lot harder not having someone around every day. I'll be walking around and see something that reminds me of something. It sucks. We're supposed to catch up in the next few days, but he's been busy catching up with all the life that passed him by while he was here in Nashville. I did get a text message reminding me that I was missed, which was easily the highlight of my day.

Today's song of the day: "Here Without You" by 3 Doors Down.

Friday, November 24, 2006


I never expected to be in a good mood today, but one thing that I was looking forward to was going to sleep in my own bed tonight for the first time in over a year. I was so excited to see my family, but I'll admit that last night as I was tossing and turning on the couch, the only thing that really helped me fall asleep was the thought that tonight I'd come home and climb in between the sheets of my very comfortable, beautiful antique bed.

My family's known for weeks they were coming today. They knew that I didn't care about anything really except my bed. I've had dreams about sleeping in my bed again. So, when my mother called to tell me that my bed was buried in the back of my storage locker (I could've told them that) and that they were bringing my futon instead, I cried.

I am really upset that I won't be sleeping in my own bed tonight. I'm a little disheartened that they knew they were coming for weeks and never thought to get my stuff out of storage before noon today. So, I was already upset before that call with everything else going on in my life, and I just lost it.

I love my bed. It's a great bed. I could've gone out and bought a new bed to have one, but I love mine, so why would I? That's a waste of money.

I just hope they're serious about bringing it as soon as they can, because I will probably kill myself sleeping on a futon every night.

As for the other stuff? Well, we'll see...

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Woohoo, online surveys!!!

Sometimes I just want to write. Today's one of those days. I have lots to say. And I'm feeling compelled to answer this e-mail survey I got from my friend Virginia in North Carolina. I don't do e-mail these days, so up on the bloggy blog it goes!!!

1. What is your occupation? staff writer for a nonprofit

2. What color are your socks right now? no socks

3. What are you listening to right now?
I think it's Gwen Stefani
4. What was the last thing that you ate? cheese and crackers

5. Can you drive a stick shift? nope

6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? magenta
7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? my mom
8. Do you like the person who sent this to you? I do
9. How old are you today? The big 3-0
10. Favorite drink: Coke Zero or anything with Crown Royal

11. What is your favorite sport to watch? hockey, college football

12. Have you ever dyed your hair? I have

13. Pets? at mom and dad's I have a cat (Tigger) and a dog (Sparky)

14. Favorite food? Italian

15. What was the last movie you watched? American Pie

16. Favorite day of the year? My birthday!!!

17. What do you do to vent anger? Cuss a lot

18. What was your favorite toy as a child? barbie dream house

19. What is your favorite fall or spring? fall

20. Hugs or kisses? Hugs, but kisses ain't all bad

21. Cherries or Blueberries? Cherries
22. Do you want your friends to email you back? I didn't email this

23. Who is most likely to respond?
I hate tagging people.

24. Who is least likely to respond? Everyone if they're smart. LOL.

25. Living arrangements? One house, one dog, two roommates and the Home of Country Music

26. When was the last time you cried? last night

27. What is on the floor of your closet? a bag of my favorite t-shirts, shoes

28. Who is the friend you have known the longest that you are sending this to? urggh, Krista's probably my oldest friend who reads my blog. I've known her since grade school.

29. What did you do last night? Worked, went grocery shopping, stayed up late watching TV

30. Favorite smells? the smell of things baking, any Ralph Lauren men's cologne

31. What inspires you? Waking up to a new day that God has given me, my mother

32. What are you afraid of? I'm not a big fan of rejection, and I'm terrified of snakes

33. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? what's the point of a burger without cheese

34. Favorite dog breed? Chocolate labs, Welsh Corgis and Golden Retrievers

35. Number of keys on your key ring? 3

36. How many years at your current job? a month

37. Favorite day of the week? Hump Day, baby!

38. How many states have you lived in? I guess this is the third one
39. Favorite holidays? Halloween, Christmas, Thanksgiving -- in that order

40. Ever driven a Motorcycle or heavy machinery? I sat on the lawnmower once. Does that count?

White cotton underwear...

I woke up this morning realizing that the current object of my affection is hours away and I'm not quite sure when I'll get to see him again. That is not a good way to start your day.

Then I realized there is one good thing about this:

White cotton underwear.

You see, when you like someone and you see them everyday, you can't ever wear your plain old white cotton underwear because they might see them. OK, everyone has white cotton underwear and everyone knows that. But there's a difference between having them and letting another person see you in them. So, when there's a chance someone else might see my undies, I'm always wearing my cute undies. And besides, when I'm wearing my favorite underwear, I can't help but be in a good mood. And it's good to be in a good mood and feel attractive when you want someone else to think you're attractive too. But some underwear, like the ones I wore yesterday, look cute but aren't particularly comfortable.

And sometimes you just want comfort, and there's nothing more comfortable than plain, white, cotton underwear.


I could make this a long, sappy, sentimental post about all the things I'm thankful for, but that's not the mood that I'm in. I am very thankful for many, many things. I live in a beautiful city where it's bright and sunny (I'm almost wishing I had not skipped the Boulevard Bolt this morning!). There is plenty of food waiting for us to eat it in a few hours. I have a fantastic job. I even have a second, slightly less fantastic job where I go a few hours a week so that I can buy myself nice things like iPods and Caribbean vacations. I have wonderful friends. There's a beautiful brown dog lying next to me on the couch, and my lovely roommate is cooking up some cranberries in our kitchen. All in all, 2006 has been fantastic, and I've had a lot to be thankful for. Yes, I miss my family this year, but my mom and her sisters are coming to visit tomorrow, so all is well.

This morning I woke up to the smell of pumpkin pie. Carol did most of the cooking, which was very nice of her. I contributed wine for dinner, but she didn't have the heart to tell me that she doesn't like Riesling, so I feel bad. I rolled out some homemade noodles, and that was pretty much all the work I had to do. I think I'll offer to make dinner for Christmas, assuming that I don't find a way to get home. I'm working on it. However, I got so screwed with my schedule this week that I'm not even sure I'll ask. Of course, there were other factors that I'm pretty sure played into my getting hosed at work this week, but those will have to be for another day.

So, I am thankful for many things in my life. And I hope that everyone who reads this stops long enough today to thank God for the many blessings in their lives.

Happy Thanksgiving!

A single girl's shopping cart

The night before Thanksgiving, I rolled into Kroger at 11:30 after work. While I was surrounded by turkeys and the trimmings, this was the entire contents of my shopping cart:

  • Hummus
  • Pita bread
  • A piece of cake from the bakery
  • Frozen lemonade
  • Coffee creamer
  • Eggs
The eggs were to make my famous egg noodles, and the rest was just stuff that I needed and/or wanted. Normally, I'd have a cart full of yams, cranberries and pumpkin, too, but Carol's doing most of the cooking for us.

I did stop on the way home this afternoon to buy a nice bottle of white wine for dinner.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Postcards from the Edge...

So, there were two schedules at work this week: One that had me on the schedule for Tuesday and Wednesday, and one that didn't. Yesterday when I wanted to be off so that I could hit the town, I went by the schedule that said I was off. Tonight I am seriously thinking about working because a) I am poor and b) I really want to work one more time with the person who was the reason I opted to not show up last night. However, I'm pretty sure that it's going to be hell tonight because we'll have to get ready for Friday.

You'll remember I am only working there because I am going to pay for vacation now and not worry about it when we get closer.

So, I thought this postcard would remind me that it's not as bad as it seems.

OK, it is. It sucks. Everyone hates it. But at least there'd be people there who'd make it worth going in for a few hours.


Last night before I went to bed (OK, it was sort of early this morning.), I had this long post in my head that I was going to share with y'all. Unfortunately, it seems to have left my brain. Perhaps it's because Kay says that I shouldn't talk about certain things here. That's probably true. And what's my business and I want to share isn't always just my business to share, if that makes sense.

It's going to be a slow day at work today, but someone brought bagels from Panera, so yum. I'm pretty much done with all my work and it's 9:22, so I may just get my office a little more organized. I've been meaning to move the furniture around.

Did you ever want to not get out of bed in the morning, just hoping that you could freeze time? I know it's absolutely silly, but I did that this morning. Despite the fact that I had to sleep on the couch, last night was the first restful night of sleep that I've had in ages. When I woke up this morning, I felt refreshed, but I hesitated to get out from under the warmth of my down comforter. I barely budged when Toffee ran across the room and climbed on the couch to give me some morning kisses. And yes, just a little part of me thought that if I didn't get out of bed, if I just stayed there huddled under the covers with my eyes closed, that maybe the day wouldn't go on.

I can't think of many times in my life that have been better than the last month. I am absolutely, positively dreading waking up and knowing that I'm not going to get to see someone's smiling face in a few days. I don't think that this is an ending; it's merely a change. I, however, have never been a big fan of change. Some things are changing for the better, but I don't like the idea of being so far away. And yes, I know that people have e-mails and telephones and things like that, and that's great. It's just not the same. There's just something about being physically close to someone ...

So, nothing too exciting to report. I'm having Turkey Day here because my family is finally bringing my furniture. Does this mean they believe in me now? I guess we will see. I believe in me, and I'm doing great, so I'm not too worried about it.

Today's song of the day (I know, it's been a while!) is a song I fell in love with when it was the song in the trailers for the movie About A Boy, which is one of my favorite films. I love Nick Hornsby, and I love Hugh Grant, and this was one of those films that I ran out to get at Media Play the second it came out. I also fell in love with this song, although that's hardly why I'm mentioning it five years later. This song just seems appropriate right now. It's "Superman" by Five For Fighting.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006


So, we have three country stations here in town. Those are the only stations I know; I don't see the point in listening to anything else.

This morning, I was faced with these three choices.

1. Commercials
2. Interview with Kellie Pickler
3. Brooks & Dunn song

Wanna guess which one I picked?

I can tell you all about the sales at Helzberg Diamonds this weekend!

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Post-pourri part ????

I don't even know where we left off last, so I'll just fill in the blanks the best I can.

I had a bit of a blast from the past earlier this week, and I didn't get as caught up as I would've liked because it was quarter bowling night and I had plans. I like plans. Especially since my days of "plans" officially end next week. I can't talk about that too much or I will cry. And crying sucks. I just really do not have any clue how I'm supposed to function when I go back to how life was two months ago.

As for the blast from the past ... It was interesting. I don't trust anyone these days, but I didn't have much to say. Nothing people didn't already know anyhow. I'd be curious to hear more about it, but I've been too busy to check in again. I'm just not sure what the point is anyhow. The past is all done.

What else happened this week? Oh, this part I love. I bought decorations for my office. That's a huge deal for me because I never even thought about settling in at the last place. I plan to take advantage of what I hope is a slow week this week by getting my office all decorated. I was on deadline last week, which pretty much meant writing and editing all week. But I LOVE it. I'm exactly where I need to be in life, and it's about time. Crystal and I were talking about that the other day. I think when you hit 30, you just have to decide to be a grown-up and figure it all out and stick to what you love. I know that's what I tried to do as I was job-hunting. I knew I didn't get certain jobs because they weren't the right fit. So, now I have a job where I'm going to put photos in frames and put them on my desk! I just might stay a while. Yay!

I also bought my Christmas present to myself last night. It will surprise no one when I say what I got. A friend called me last night to ask me to bid on his mom's Christmas present on ebay for him while he was still at work. So, I did. And when I was finished I decided to see if there were any good deals on ipods. My computer geek friend told me if I could find a 20 gig ipod with no problems for under $120 that I should get it. So I did. Yay, Christmas for me. Screw everyone else!! Just kidding. No one panic about that.

I got another Christmas present this week too, a beautiful pair of earrings. I told my mom all I want is the bed linens she's supposedly planned to buy me for months. Then I'll paint my bedroom too.

I was going to write more, but it'll have to wait for a different day. Sorry about that!

Thursday, November 16, 2006

I'm not really anti-business, but...

...other than that, this is right-on.

You Are a Liberal for Life

You've got a bleeding heart - and you're proud of it.
For you, liberal means being compassionate, pro-government, and anti-business.
You believe in equality for every person, and you consider yourself universally empathetic.
Helping others is not just political for you ... it's very personal too.
What's Your Political Persuasion?

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Late-night plans

So, I ended up having last-minute plans tonight, but I had fun so that was good. If I keep up with the bowling I'll be ready for the PBA tour soon enough.

However, I found out that three weeks has now turned into nine days. And as much as I joke about not abandoning me, I'm not really joking. My life has changed so much in the last few weeks just by having this amazing person in it, that I can't really think about the possibility of not seeing him for days on end. Two hours isn't really that far away, but when someone becomes a constant in your life, the reason you get out of bed on some days, then the last thing you really want to address is the fact that one day you're going to wake up and not know when you get to see them next. No late nights at Waffle House or IHOP (they're the only places open, so quit your smirking) watching him order all the parts to a sandwich and make it himself, no impromptu bowling or debating over whether or not you can make dinner for a finicky eater. Who's supposed to make faces at me during conference calls or drag me into my office for a bitch session?

As quickly as my life's been turned upside-down in a great way, I am facing the opposite and I don't like it. Not one little bit.

And if I'm crying this much now, I don't even want to think about what next Friday will look like...

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

I heart polar bears!!!

We'll start today's post with a cute video of a dancing polar bear that I totally borrowed from dude on MySpace. It's fun.

Dancing bear

Add to My Profile | More Videos

I was very sad to learn that our teeny-tiny Nashville Zoo does not have polar bears. It's actually not very exciting, but you have to remember the only zoos I've ever been to are Toledo, Detroit, Cincinnati and Columbus, all of which are pretty darn good. And polar bear habitats are expensive, especially in the South. So, I was very pleased to find out that in Memphis, which is just a few hours away, there are polar bears. They're at the zoo, not at Graceland, as someone so kindly pointed out to me the other day.

Anyhoo, I'm excited because in the spring I get to go to Graceland and the Zoo to see the polar bears. I'm also going to go to Beale Street. I'm probably also a little excited about my tour guide for that adventure.

Memphis. Who knew?

So, I'm already excited about Spring. It seems like it'll never get here. Heck, I'm not 100% positive that I'll survive the next three weeks... And after that? Yikes. I try not to think about it.

I'm off to send a text message. I might check in tonight. But maybe I'll have plans...

Monday, November 13, 2006

Hey lookie!!!

I'm on deadline today, so no time to get into a big monologue about it, but I do appreciate the irony that the word of the day is karma.

Have a good one! I'll check back in later!

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Let's see, where to start...

Life is grand. I'm a very happy girl. There's someone around lately who helps to make me happy. I'm having a lot of fun.

And that's all I can really say about it right now. It's been a long time since I've had this much fun or laughed and smiled this much.

I have a great job. I just made reservations for my vacation next year. I have friends who love me. And I get goosebumps whenever someone walks in the room.

I thought I'd be washed up at thirty, and I am truly at the top of my game.

From the Polly Homemaker files: I made homemade noodles for Carol's Sunday School Thanksgiving dinner today and they were the hit of the party. They aren't really that hard to make, but they are time-consuming. They were delicious. And it's just one of those things you learn from your Grandma and you can't write down a recipe. You just do it and you know.

So, I ate a lot of fantastic food today, and tomorrow it's back to the grindstone. I have TWO half Marathons on my schedule for next year -- the Country Music Marathon here and the Rock and Roll Half-marathon in Virginia Beach Labor Day weekend. I also have my first training race in a couple of weeks, and it turns out it's not a 5 K; it's five MILES. So that's going to be fun times and I'm sure we'll see exactly how much training my fat ass needs. Ouch. But I'm ready, and it's for a good cause.

I'm getting serious. I need to look good when Lance has his wedding next summer. I don't want to be in thousands of dollars of wedding pictures looking like a beached whale.

But I think I looked pretty cute last night. I'm pretty sure I caught someone looking at my ass...

Friday, November 10, 2006

I swear I didn't make this up!!!!

I got this quiz on MySpace. I swear I didn't cheat!

What alcohol are you??

What a b-e-a-u-tiful name! Crown is a one of a kind! You know when you get on it you know you'll be feelin good in a minute! And you know everyone else going to be living it up!

Take this test

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Things I like to hear...

Governor Strickland
Senator Brown
Speaker Pelosi
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid

Rumsfield's resignation

I wish Harold Ford had won. That made me sad. Racism sucks.

Friday, November 03, 2006

So, the next part of that song...

I let go of a lover
That took a piece of my heart
And prayed many times for forgiveness
And a brand new start

I thought that was interesting ... It wasn't intentional when I did that, honest. Oops, I almost talked about things that aren't for blogs yet.

Speaking of things that aren't for blogs, I will just say that sometimes I should just go with my gut, which is something I don't do nearly enough. I was talking about that with someone earlier today. Sometimes you just know.

I have always been one to believe that everything happens for a reason. And sometimes things just aren't what they appear to be.

And if I didn't have to be up so damned early this would be the part of the program where I got drunk and cried in my beer.

And probably made a jack ass out of myself. Luckily I'm tired, so I'm going to bed before I can do that.

But just to warn y'all, I suspect that I'll be a grouch for the next few days because I'm being deprived of my late-night chit-chats.


As many of you know, I am sticking with my part-time job because I need to save up money to go to the Caribbean next year. I think I need to copy a picture from down there and carry it in my pocket so when the crazy asses bother me, I can just look at it and think about why I'm there. Because if tonight's any indication, it's really going to suck when someone heads back West in a few weeks...

I watched boats sail in and out of Cinnamon Bay ...

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Because I promised...

... and really I am good with promises!

Here are the topics I wanted to tell you all about. Are you excited?

Hot boys, whiskey and Keith Whitley = good times (kind of).

We'll start with the weekend. I was dragging ass on Saturday night, so I headed home put on the PJs and was just heading to bed when my phone rang. I didn't even look at the caller ID before I said "Fuck it," and curled up under the covers some more. I got up to go to the bathroom before bed and realized I had several messages from Alexis and Kay, so I decided to check them before I went to sleep.

They were here. Surprise trip to Nashville for Amy's birthday. I had no clue. And they were very, very lucky that I didn't go to sleep without checking my messages.

But I didn't. So I threw on my clothes, grabbed an overnight bag and headed to Crossroads. We drank, danced and had a great time before calling it a night and passing out at some hotel by Vanderbilt. Bobby wasn't working, but instead entertaining a friend from home. Desi dressed up as a redneck for Halloween. Maybe I was just drunk, but there are few things funnier than a black guy dressed as a racist for his Halloween costume.

The next morning we drove out to Franklin to see "the sights." We went right through Cool Springs to get out to where we needed to go. Funny how we had to do that. And they were coming from Indiana. Well, you learn something new everyday, don't you?

We went to see Bobby, had lunch, I took a nap during the Colts game and then we went out for MORE drinking.

That's when I met this guy Rob from Kentucky. He was very cute. He was a year older than me. He danced with me and sang Keith Whitley in my ear. Always a good thing for a guy to do... Anyhow, I ended up drinking a bit too much (around the time his friend Dan accidentally left his Beam and 7-up in front of me) and we got on the subject of college basketball. Somehow I mentioned that I was a Duke fan.

And he owns a piece of the floor in Rupp Arena and hates Christian Laettner (even today!) like it's his job. The conversation went south from there, which is sad because I'd have done him.

The drinking on Sunday brings me to my next topic...

Baggage: it's not just for the American Tourister store anymore.

So while I was drinking heavily on Sunday, I decided that this made me an awful person and that my friends were going to hate me and not want to be my friends anymore. So I started crying. I hate being that girl -- the weepy drunk. But I just had flash backs and I thought about the drama, and I was convinced that the girls would come home from the weekend and never talk to me again.

I wish that I could say it was the booze talking. I guess if it happens to you once, you're just a little gun shy. I don't know that I'll ever forget when Kym was showing me whatever it was on her computer and that e-mail popped up. In some ways it's really good to learn that you're totally wasting your time on people who aren't really your friends, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt like someone's kicking you in the gut. I could just see myself sitting in that bathroom, crying on the phone to Jenn. I could remember being so upset and it being late at night and I couldn't go home. That sucked.

Because Amy helped me pick the pieces up from that, I know she'd never do it. But the baggage that we carry around from relationship to relationship (platonic or romantic) can do so much damage. It's really amazing that anyone in this world trusts anyone else.

I hate that I honestly thought that my friends would just start hating me out of nowhere, simply because it'd happened before. Especially because these were not the same friends, these were the women who helped me through it when I was so hurt last time. But sometimes those ghosts just get the best of us. And it's not just about those people ... we all have lots of ghosts in our lives.

New job.

I love my new job. It's the best job ever. My coworkers are great, and we all get along well. We're a great team. So, I am loving my job. I think I'll love it even more when we have pay day next week. Or I go to get my tooth fixed when my insurance kicks in. It's going to be a lot of hard work, but it's all work that I love. Where else can I get paid to write and red-pen everyone else's work?!?

And secret topics I haven't quite figured out how to address yet!!!

I am not sure how to address the secret topic that I can't/shouldn't address. Some of you know what I'm talking about. Some of you, I'm sure, just said "What the hell is she talking about now?!"

Well, I wish I could tell you. But I'm not 100-percent sure who is reading my blog right now. (I know, that shocks you, too.) I've already screwed up enough in my life in the last few years, so I'm not doing anything to fuck up yet another thing. So, when it's OK for you to know, you will know.

Or maybe you won't, because frankly it's none of your beeswax!

It's time for bed again (past, actually!), so remind me tomorrow that I want to tell y'all about Nashville Star.

Oh, and I owe Amber another chapter from the book!

Things I'll never understand...

There are a few things that still baffle me after all this time ...
  • A voice mail I accidentally deleted before I could really listen.
  • A few random pieces of clothing and accessories.
  • A CD with familiar handwriting.
  • Where all the money came from.

I wish that were enough. Really, I do. But it doesn't seem to be. Having a shirt that ended up being in some pictures doesn't explain the rest of it...

Just a random thought someone might have when there's a sighting of a certain Latina here in town or they drive through Cool Springs.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

So much to say, so little time...

It's bed time now. I must go sleepy. However, I have LOTS to tell y'all at some point.

Stay tuned tomorrow (it'll be late) for such informative topics as:

Hot boys, whiskey and Keith Whitley = good times (kind of).

Baggage: it's not just for the American Tourister store anymore.

New job.

And secret topics I haven't quite figured out how to address yet!!!

I'll bet you can't wait!