Broken record...
I'm at a very weird place in my life right now.
In some ways, life is great. In other ways, I just want to cry.
And I don't really want to talk about any of it. At least not here.
I don't know who reads this, and there are things that are just not for the public eye.
All day long today, I just wanted to cry. Well, except when I designed one of the best publications that I've ever done. It's absolutely gorgeous, and I'm proud of it. But it was a lot of hard work.
I came home and drank. And I guess now it's wearing off.
Here's the thought of the day: Sometimes when we think we are trying to spare someone else's feelings, we end up hurting them even more.
And no, I'm still not telling you about anything that's going through my brain.
FYI - I did start my diet this week, and aside from Fiesta Time last night, I'm doing great. I don't think I need to worry about going out to eat again anytime soon. Folks are stocked up enough that their conscience probably isn't going to bother them for a while.
Doesn't make me want to cry any less, though.
I'm going to try to write more often, although I'm sure no one wants to watch me beat around the bush on a daily basis.
More to come...eventually.
Song of the day:
"Everybody" by Keith Urban.
Domestic goddess
So, this whole weekend I have been off from Toys R Us. Not great on my pocket-book, but I've really been making the most of my time at home.
First of all, my room has been relatively clean for over a week now. I cleaned it last weekend, and basically all I had to do was laundry today. Soon, I'll have to start packing since I'm moving in the middle of February.
Yep, I'm moving, and I am chock-full of mixed emotions about it. Carol and I have been getting along great lately, but we all know I've really been kinda-sorta looking since the rent went up last summer. Even though I know I'll never find another giant room right in town for $500/month, I just feel like I'm ready for a change of scenery. I think my new situation is going to be a nice change. If not, it'll be a learning experience.
I haven't told Carol yet. I'm going to do that this evening. I'm hoping that she'll take it OK and realize it's nothing personal. I'm just hoping to get ahead a little and paying less in rent should help me do that. Yeah, it's going to suck to have a smaller room and a longer commute, but there are other things that should be fine.
I never intended to live here forever, so really it shouldn't be a big deal. If Jamie hadn't gone back to Detroit, I'd probably already have moved by now. I always second-guess myself when I make big decisions, and I don't like to hurt my friends, so I guess I'm just hoping and praying that it'll all be OK.
So, back to the domestic goddess thing. Yesterday I made a grilled chicken breast and pasta. I find if you buy those sacks of fresh-frozen chicken breasts and throw some spices on and put them on the Foreman grill, that makes an easy dinner. Fifteen minutes later and I had a great meal.
Today, I made meatloaf with mashed potatoes and green beans. I took a few meatloaf recipes and combined them to make some fantastic meatloaf. Here is my recipe if anyone wants to try it.
1 1/2 pound ground beef
1 6 oz box of cornbread stuffing mix
handful of chopped onion (about 1/4 cup)
1 egg
splash of milk
1 tsp salt
1/4 tsp garlic powder
1 T worcestershire sauce
1/2 cup barbecue sauce
Mix all of this together in a bowl. Put it into a loaf pan (or make a loaf in another baking dish), and top with extra barbecue sauce.
Bake at 350 for 1 hour.
I'm not sure what's brought on this wave of domesticity, but I hope it sticks. I like having a room clean enough for folks to stop by (although no one does that now and no one will really do that when I move further out).
The progidal blogger
So, this isn't really a post, because I'm still insanely busy at work (but much more caught up than last week at this time), but I just wanted to let everyone know that I am alive.
In some ways things are looking up and in other ways my life is complete and total shit. I'm going to try to find some time to tell you all about it, but who knows when. Maybe tonight. And by then I could have an update.
I need to write here more often. It'd be good therapy. In the meantime, I will obsess over my sudden lack of text messages.
Just as soon as I finish this layout I'm working on.
Tit for tat
Did you ever spend an awful lot of time trying to spare someone's feelings and worrying about hurting them, only to realize if the tables were turned, they would most likely not do the same thing?
It sucks.
And then you just say "Screw it," and move on.
Or at least that's what I'm trying to do...
