Buyer's remorse?!
So, the more I think about it, the more pissed off I get about my new car.
The car itself doesn't piss me off. It's lovely. The whole process just pisses me off.
It's all done, and I need to get over it, but I want to vent just a little bit.
You see, the main reason that I wanted to buy a new car was to help out General Motors, because I'm from Detroit and General Motors paid for pretty much everything I had for the first 25 years of my life.
So, I headed to the Chevy dealership to buy a new car. Notice I said "new." I did not say "certified pre-owned."
But when I got there, they acted like they didn't want to sell me a new car. They told me I couldn't have afforded it, although I probably could've. Because I got a higher interest rate with my used car, I'm pretty sure it was a wash money-wise. So, even though it's certified pre-owned and it has a good warranty and such, I'm sitting here worried about why someone returned it and wishing I'd bought a new one. I can't do anything now, but it just really pisses me off.
Even though I love Detroit, and I'd do anything to save the city that holds most of my fondest memories, I don't want to hear General Motors bitch and whine about not making any money anymore. Because I was perfectly willing to give THEM thousands of my hard-earned dollars for a new car, and their salespeople chose to strong-arm me into buying a used car, where the dealership and some dude named Chad will make more money than GM does. Whatever.
I like my car. I really do. Ask me again when the transmission blows or the power windows go out, but right now I like it.
So, I seriously thought about taking it back after work today with my 72-hour buyer's remorse period. I didn't really do my homework very well, because the Chevy dealership down the street from work does have one 2008 NEW one left. But, at least I didn't really pay for someone else's $9,000 in depreciation. I just need to work hard to get my credit up, pay down on the principal and refinance the loan as soon as I can. I need to stop sitting here thinking that it's going to take me that long to pay the loan and that it's going to cost me that much money, because I am going to drive myself crazy.
And I did help the economy (and I will everytime I need new 17" tires, holy shit!), even if my beloved Generous Motors lost $9.6 billion last quarter.
On to happy things
Life is what you make it, and I'm going to make mine wonderful. I have a lovely little girl in my life who loves me, and it's quite possible that her adorable daddy might even love me more than she does. Last night, he and I went out with my friends because I thought I felt well enough to eat (I have been battling some sort of stomach virus for several days). Turns out I wasn't well enough to eat. And he held my head while I curled up in the booth being sick and whiny. He is just so great with me. He loves hanging out with my friends (even offered to drive one of them home last night when she'd had too much to drink), and he treats me well. He's stayed with me at the house while I've been sick and waited on me hand and foot. I am so lucky to have him in my life.
I figured I'd take a second to tell you about my car. It's a 2008 Chevrolet HHR. Yes, it's used, but I saved about nine grand to get one that's been loved for a year. And it sure does look nice, and GM adds another 12,000 miles to the warranty to make up for it. I am still not sure that I'm not crazy to sign up for another several years' worth of car payments, but I've wanted one of these cars since I first saw them. It's got the engine and drivability of a car, but I can haul stuff. Not that I have lots of stuff to haul, but I do have my bicycle.
Oh well, it's back to work for me. I'll try to take some pictures of the car and post them, but I have to work the next two nights in toyland. And with the extra expense of a new car, I'm not cursing extra work!
Break
There's an old adage, "If you don't bitch, your head will explode." With that in mind, I need to take a little sanity break. It's not cool to cry at work anyhow.
I thought maybe things would be OK. I thought they'd be OK to the point that I bought a car yesterday. I don't know when I'll have time to take it back to the dealership, but I'm thinking it'll be going back before my three-day "buyer's remorse" period is up. I feel like it's the only option I have, because in no way, shape or form do I think anything will be OK anymore. In fact, considering the way I feel, I am not sure if I should go to lunch because I might not come back.
So, maybe the sanity break will help.
Or maybe, I'll run screaming from the building. It's looking like an appealing option right now.
Let me bring everyone up to speed, because I have been MIA lately. This thing I have called a life keeps getting in the way.
My boss at work has left. I liked her and I enjoyed working with her, so I am sad about that. But she got a great new opportunity and change is inevitible. All you get to choose is choose how you respond to change. I have chosen to be positive, work my ass off and continue to be a team player and hope that's enough. That's all I can do, really. I do a lot of work here, and I do my work well, so surely that has to count for something.
My co-worker has chosen to slam doors and sit in her office in a snit.
And I just can't deal. I cannot deal with negativity. I cannot deal with having an unpleasant work environment. It's not conducive to a team environment, and it's just totally unprofessional. And, I'm way too busy to figure out what I've done to burn her biscuits. I know you probably all think that I'm exaggerating, but I can just feel negative energy, distrust and general discontent seeping through the walls of my office from next door. It is dragging me down and upsetting me. It's beyond not cool to slam a door in a co-worker's face. I never even did that to skeevy Chris back in Detroit. Not even after forced me out of my job. I just don't operate that way. Unless I'm making a lot of phone calls or working on something where I
can't be distracted, I don't even close my door. It's just not conducive to teamwork. There is just seriously nothing in my mind that I can think of that would cause me to slam a door in another person's face.
Nothing.
Not to mention that the reason I am sitting here and typing this is because slamming a door in someone's face says two things: 1) I'm not available and 2) I don't want to deal with you.
And I'm at a point in my work where I need her help. And I don't know what to do. Honest to God, I'll just leave the stuff on her desk at lunch time.
This is not how grown-ups work.
We also found out about our new boss today. He is highly qualified on the publications side of things. I wonder if he'll see the work I'm doing and think I'm a complete and total fraud. I have definitely been writing in PR for so long that I don't look like a "legitimate" journalist. And while I produce a magazine that all of our members like, magazine isn't really where my background lies. In fact, I changed my course catalog senior year so that I didn't have to take magazine production, mostly because it was really expensive and after five years of college, I just didn't want to think about spending hundreds of dollars at Kinko's to produce a magazine. Stupid reason now, but 10 years ago, it seemed brilliant.
This guy sounds great. But, of course, I doubt my skills and I worry that I'm not great. And if he is, he's sure to notice that. And there aren't any other jobs out there, believe me. I hadn't ever looked since I came here because I have always loved this job, but lately I just can't deal with people dragging me down. Especially when it is a person that I considered to be my friend, and now she slams doors and doesn't talk to me. That's not fair, and I don't appreciate it.
But, I'm a big, giant pussy who hates confrontation, so I'd rather tell y'all that my feelings are hurt and negative attitudes are degrading office morale and teamwork, rather than tell the person who's doing it.
Well, that and cry.
Yes, I'm 32 years old and I'm sitting in my office crying, mostly because this morning I thought everything would be OK, and now it's become painfully obvious that it's not going to be OK.
And I don't know what to do. I don't want to take my car back, but I know I can't work like this. I don't know what's pissed her off, and I don't know what I need to do to get her to stop slamming the door and walking around in that pissed-off way that eight-year-old kids do when they're throwing a temper tantrum.
What the hell was I thinking when I bought a new car? I need to just hunker down and have as few obligations as possible, because I have a feeling that everything's going to get worse before it gets better.
I have to get back to work. Maybe when I'm feeling better I'll tell you about Shelby's birthday party and how Chris took care of me this week when I was sick. Maybe I bought the car because I feel like someday the three of us could be some sort of family, but that's a stupid reason. I can't support three people on what I do make, and I sure as hell can't support three people on unemployment.
Worth it.
So, I'm spending tons of money on the personal trainer. I'm not getting a new car, I'm skipping this year's vacation and going on a totally budget trip next February. With all these changes in my plans and with very little movement on the scale, I've been wondering if it was worth it.
I know I work hard when I go to the gym. But I was still worried when Jenny told me that we were doing my second fitness assessment today. Even though Chris and I are both wearing clothes we haven't worn in ages, I just figured that I should be further along.
But that's because I like instant gratification.
However, the results are in, and Jenny was very surprised with my progress. Probably not as surprised as I was, but it's a good surprised.
Weight: down 2.6 pounds since I started (this goes up and down all the time)
Chest: lost 4 inches
Waist: lost 2.5 inches
Hips: lost 1.5 inches
The first day, I did 10 push-ups. Today I did 25.
The first day, I did 9 sit-ups. Today I did 12. (I hate sit-ups.)
People say I look thinner in my face. Maybe I'll post a picture for y'all soon.
Thought of the Day
I was just looking at my post about buying a new car (which is on hold until this one falls apart beyond repair) and I was reminded of something.
I think it's weird when people name their cars.
My car does not have a name. I once inherited a car with a name (Ruby the Ho-ho, a 1987 Plymouth Horizon), and one of my friends named my first "real" car for me, but I have just never understood the practice.
Of course, I'm not even particularly fond of naming pets...
Procrastination
So, this week I learned that you need to check under your seats for sippy cups after the kiddo goes back to her mama's. Otherwise, you will be saying "Why does my car smell like rotten milk?" right before you find a week-old sippy cup with what appears to be chocolate cottage cheese in it.
I am still not very good at pretending to be a stepmom on the weekends. I am learning. This past weekend Chris left me alone with the baby a few times (including taking a separate car to church), and he says I am doing better. Apparently it's not good to be uptight with a two-year-old. But you all know that I tend to be a glass-empty kind of gal, and all I can think about is what the baby can accidentally eat/break/fall down, and I kind of freak out at the littlest things.
I also learned that we need to go to Toyland and get some things to entertain her during church. Because the minister was a good sport about it Sunday, but I'm pretty sure her antics, including stealing the toys of another child, will start to wear on his nerves soon.
I'm still not positive that I will be strong and/or fast enough to do the half-marathon in April, but I'm going to keep working toward it. That's all I can do. I love that Chris has been walking with me. He told me yesterday that he is wearing clothes that he hasn't been able to get into for years.
But he wouldn't let me tell him that there was chicken sausage, whole wheat pasta and low-fat cheese in our baked ziti last night.
His birthday is Thursday, and I still don't know what to get him. I'm making him a nice dinner, but I have no present at this point. I think I might get him an Autozone gift card because he wants to rebuild the engine in his Comet, and he doesn't need to spend all his money on car parts.
Shelby's birthday is next week and I have been picking things up here and there at work. I got her a few new outfits, and I think I am going to get her one of those kitchen-cleaning playsets, because she is always trying to steal brooms and mops and do housework. I think she'd like that. And maybe some books. I like to read to her before bed.
Speaking of Toyland, they finally told our boss to shape up or ship out, and he chose ship out. This does not surprise me. I can't say that I am sad to see him go. I don't deal well with passive-aggressive people, and someone who throws away absence requests and swears you never turned them in rather than tell you can't have a day off, is just a tiny bit passive-aggressive.
The rumor mill says that a certain manager extraordinaire from West Tennessee, who also happens to be one of my dearest friends, might be replacing him. But, considering this person has been screwed out of so many promotions it's not funny, I'm not getting my hopes up until he calls me and asks me if I can close on Tuesday.
I've already told him that I have a life, so not to do that so much.
But, then again, I also spend most of my check there these days, so maybe a few extra hours wouldn't kill me.
