Irony
As my long-time readers know, OU was very excited when former Nebraska head coach Frank Solich came to Athens to lead the Bobcats. Well, at least until he had his little traffic incident.
While I was in school, OU had this great coach named Jim Grobe. I liked him. He won lots of games. Then he went off to Wake Forest and was even named AP Coach of the Year.
Today I see an article that Nebraska athletic director and former coach Tom Osborne (Solich's boss) is looking for a new head coach. Jim Grobe is on the short list.
I remember Solich's first year at OU there were all these folks in red shirts that said "Huskers for Solich." Wonder if any Grobe-loving Bobcats would head out to Lincoln if he can somehow be swayed from Wake Forest.
Mostly, I just find it funny that OU has all these great coaches and still manages to have one of the most laughable football programs in the country. Thank God I went there for Journalism.
Two posts in 24 hours...
I haven't done that in a long time.
First of all, my vacation chronicles will be posted here next week. Promise. Might even have time to deal with them this weekend since I suspect my plans are about to become abbreviated.
I need to go to bed, but I just wanted to say that this is quite easily one of the worst days in my recent memory. It was absolutely awful. Maybe it's just PMS, but I just want to cry.
Let's see -- some highlights:
I had cramps and I was sick all day.
I still went to Toy Hell, where I found out it was me, two guys who don't work, about eight new people (as in I'd-never-seen-them-before-new) and our absolutely most worthless employee. Oh, and she was the only cashier.
And the Vice President of the company was coming to the store tomorrow morning and our strictest manager was closing. (Although any manager would've been strict before a visit...)
The store was still a mess when I left at 12:15. I had to get home. I'm too busy at "real work" to fuck with the toy store all night.
Did I mention that a guy accused me of being a racist because I wouldn't let him return PlayStation games that he lied to me about? And he was MEXICAN. Yeah, I hate Mexicans. Half my family is Mexican, you moron. He's like "You are not helping me because I'm Mexican. I am a U.S. citizen." And my sister-in-law isn't. Your point?
I wanted to call him a bad name in Spanish as he was leaving.
I just have other shit going on too, but I think I think I got some of the answers I needed when I got home. It was just a sucky day, and now I'm going to bed for a couple of hours before I have to go do it again.
Song of the day: "The Girl I Am" by Gretchen Wilson.
Random thoughts...
As a follow-up to my last post (so long ago): I do believe "You're so vain" is about Warren Beatty. Carly said it wasn't about Mick, and the timetable doesn't work with James Taylor. So, there you go. I was just saying I'd like to know for sure, just like "Sweet Caroline."
Saturday was especially awful in Toyland, so I stopped at the store (well, two stores: Kroger and the liquor store) and got painkiller fixins. They were a huge hit. I was drunk. They make me miss Ivan, though. Well, only 48 more weeks or so until I get to go back.
I get more pissed off every time I think about how I spent $180 for glasses I will never wear. I love my new contacts. And they're approved for 6 days of continuous use. What my eye doctor doesn't know won't kill him. Not like I'm ever going back to that nimrod.
However, I've been researching this RP thing, and it'd be incredibly foolish and selfish for me to have a child. I'm kind of over it now. In fact, I've never been a huge fan of kids. There's really only one time in my life that I thought I'd have 2.2 kids, a golden retriever, a house in the suburbs and a Subaru Outback, and we all know how that turned out. There's just something about turning 30 that makes you want to have one. I'll blame societal pressures. I have never been one to be tied down. I flitter and float around, like to travel, don't really want something the size of a Thanksgiving turkey pulled out of a hole the size of a nickel... So, babies are out. And if I can't have babies, I'm not sure that I see the point in getting married either. We'll cross that bridge if we get to it.
I'm not really enjoying being a woman today, and I'd really like to climb back in bed now. I'm wondering if there's anyone to cover for me at Toyland. I have cramps so bad that I want to puke. Those are my favorite. For some reason, even though all I've wanted to eat all day was oatmeal raisin cookies and cheeseburgers, I just ate the salad and clementine that I had in the fridge. I think I hurt too much to go get a barbecue baked potato and some chess pie from Whitt's, which is what I really wanted.
I need a nap.
I feel like I look thinner today, but it might be all the anti-bloating medicine in the Pamprin I'm eating like candy. We'll see. I need to get serious about losing weight at some point. I'm sick of being fat and feeling like I'm not particularly healthy.
I'm listening to Christmas music, because it's finally somewhat cold here. However, I'm kind of already over it...
From the "Duh" Files
So, there's an article on Yahoo music right now about Neil Diamond revealing the inspiration of the song "Sweet Caroline" after being secretive about it for 40 years.
My thought as I clicked on the link: "I always thought it was about Caroline Kennedy. Wonder who it's really about..."
It IS about Caroline Kennedy. I guess everyone else just hadn't figured it out. Neil said he told Caroline recently when he was asked to sing it at her 50th birthday party.
Anyhow, by the time I got done with the article, it was kind of a let-down. Cool to hear all the back-story, but I really, honestly thought that other people thought it was about Kennedy too, and never realized it was some huge secret that people didn't know.
But while we're at it, can we PLEASE find out who inspired "You're So Vain," by Carly Simon. I always thought it was James Taylor, but in the last few years I've changed my mind...
The "eyes" have it...
So, I lost a contact last week. Actually, I lost my last contact last week. That meant I had to go to the eye doctor today for a new exam.
Two hours, $250 (without contacts) and a cute, new pair of glasses later, I left the eye doctor's office slightly shell-shocked.
It's been a long time since an eye doctor had a heart-to-heart with me about RP. As many of you know, my dad has an inherited degenerative eye disease that affects your peripheral vision. For the past 15 years, I've been told that I am a carrier and that I seriously needed to consider whether or not I wanted to have children. I've never really had children on the radar screen for the most part, so I didn't really worry too much about it.
However, the older I get, the louder my biological clock gets. I know at this point that it's a race against time. I've always said that if I didn't have children by the time I was 40 that I would adopt, but lately I've been thinking maybe I should just think about having a baby in the next few years, husband or not. I don't know why I think I'd be a good mother, but I'd really like to try.
Except sometimes God laughs when we make plans. And today I realized that if I am supposed to birth a baby from my loins, God will make it happen and he's going to have to be in charge of that. But it was hard today, to hear words like "adoption" and "genetic counseling," and to be told, point blank: "I would not have biological children if I were you." That's a lot. And all I can really think is: what guy would want to marry a girl who really shouldn't ever have a baby. Because the baby, the husband ... it's all because I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. (Well, that, and there are things about husbands and making babies that I miss
just a little.)
I guess it's a bridge I don't really have to worry about crossing right now, definitely not today. But it still sucks to think that you can't -- or at least shouldn't -- have kids.
Aside from that, he put the kibosh on sleeping with my contacts in (yet, he prescribed contacts that say I can wear them six days in a row, hmmm...). I did get cute glasses, although they are so expensive that it's ridiculous. Thank goodness for flexible spending accounts, because the payroll people should send me the money back in two weeks. It'd be easier if we had that little credit card we could use to pay for things, but it's great either way.
Lastly on this eye nonsense. I realized today that the best hope (although it's probably too late for me and my dad and maybe even my kids) is to raise money for research to help find a cure for RP. So, I went to the Foundation for Fighting Blindness' Web site (which I almost did an internship with them in college), and found out that there is a fundraising walk in Nashville in May. I signed right up and promised to raise $1000. I'm walking in my dad's honor, and you can bet I'll be telling you all how to give soon enough.
Argggh
So, I heard a rumor that my good friend Pat from back home won his election last night to become City Law Director. And sure enough, this is true.
I went to check the paper at our beloved Alma Mater to read the article. I knew they had changed the Web address, so I decided to search on Yahoo. You know how Yahoo suggests other search terms when you search for things, just in case you were confused? (Usually it's because I can't spell.) Anyhow, when you type in "Ohio University" guess what Yahoo asks if you meant to search?
Ohio State University.
You know what, assholes? I didn't mean to search Ohio State. In fact, that is why I hate Ohio State. I went to a better school. I went to a smaller school. I went to the school that was there first. Yeah, our football team isn't number one. Yeah, we don't have a Target, but Ohio State doesn't have the second-best journalism school in the country.
I'm sick of people thinking I went to Ohio State. I'm sick of Ohio State thinking that they can put Ohio on their stadium and their jerseys, have script Ohio and do that O-H-I-O cheer. You're Ohio State. And you know what? Michigan State, Iowa State, North Carolina State, Cal State and pretty much all of the 49 other schools with "state" in their names wouldn't dream of trying to go by the Michigan, Iowa, North Carolina, Cal or any of the other choices. Why? Because they're rivals, and that's idiotic.
Maybe it'd help if more Bobcats hated you. I know I do, because I'm sick of no one knowing where I went to school because you're bigger. I go to Columbus to go shopping (they have the Target), but my top-notch education came from the green and white school from down south that's legally entitled to do the O-H-I-O cheer.
I'll see if I can drum up the lawsuit stuff for you; it's funny. Michigan State should try it.
Also, why the hell is The Post's banner in blue. Green and white, people!
Garth
"It's when you're dialing six numbers just to hang up the phone
Driving cross town just to see if she's home
Waking a friend in the dead of the night
just to hear him say it's going to be alright
When you're finding things to do, not to fall asleep
Cause you know she'll be there in your dreams
that's when she's
more than a memory."
I'm really feeling Garth's new song right now. If you could buy the CD on iTunes, I'd already have it. However, I have to go to an actual store and it's cold out, so it may be a few days.
In the meantime, I'm going to go to sleep now. So I don't cry. I've had a lot hit me today, and I'm way over dealing...
Update!
So, I am now on my 4th day off from Toyland. I'm not sure why I've gotten so much time off lately, but I'm not devastated. Tomorrow's my last night until next week, but that's OK.
Today I talked for quite a bit with the person that I was upset with. And you know what? Everything's fine. No worries. For the most part, she is a good friend. The times when things don't go well aren't worth throwing it all away. And even when things aren't good, I can still make them OK. We'll see. For some people, you just have to put it all in context.
In another interesting twist, my roommate let me park in the garage last night because we had a monsoon and my window's still broken. I thought that was very nice. Maybe things will be OK. I do love it here; but I just have my moments.
Maybe that's what all this was: A moment. My blood pressure was through the roof at the doctor yesterday, and he threatened to take away my ring. Yikes. I need to work on that.
While I've been off work, I've been cleaning. I have one load of laundry left, and I am surprised to find out that I have carpet. Who knew!
'Tis the season...
I know everyone always likes to hear what I'm buying myself for Christmas every year. Some would say that laying down a couple grand to go on vacation was present enough, and for the most part it was.
There was, however, one souvenir that I didn't buy for myself while I was there. I just never found exactly what I wanted, although I did come close. It was $130, and I wanted to use that money to buy myself a lobster with a steak stuffed inside it (I know, I know.) so I decided I would get it when I got back. Well, today when I was trying to find the Web site of the jewelry shop, I found a web site that actually has EXACTLY what I wanted for about half the price.
So, sometime soon I will be the proud owner of a Caribbean knot bracelet. I didn't want a hook because way too many people who don't "get" St. John have them. People who have never been there or would probably embarrass themselves if they went. Celebrity endorsements -- whether implied or obvious -- have never really impressed me.
Mostly, I just want an absolutely gorgeous piece of jewelry that I can wear forever that reminds me of my favorite place in the world.
I think this post needs a picture...
The view of St. Thomas and the sea from our pool's deck.
So, the next countdown begins...
So, I'm just realizing after my last post and the confusion that has become my thought process that perhaps I need to start counting down for my next trip. I wish it were happening next week, but all I know is that it's happening sometime next year. I hope. I'd like to run off and sell coconuts on the beach, but that's so no going to happen.
Sometime next fall I'll get back my favorite rock, but until then I have great memories and pictures.
Conflict
I know that some of you will not believe this, but I am really not a big fan of confrontation. That's really the biggest reason that I don't answer the phone when asshole calls. Not because he's a dick and he doesn't deserve to talk to me, but because when I talk to him I want to tell him that and it would cause a confrontation, and I really don't like confrontations.
Confrontations with strangers are no problem. Sometimes I'm a little too eager to jump someone's case when I feel wronged (like when that girl at Kroger wouldn't take my check a couple of weeks ago.) But confrontations with friends -- even when I've pretty much put the friendship on a shelf and walked away -- are just something I don't like to do.
A few years ago (in some ways it seems like yesterday), I had a bit of a blow-out with one of my friends. In turn, I had a blow-out with my whole group of friends, as they basically sided with the other person. Honestly, I hadn't intended to create a scene at all. I had just spent the weekend with this group and was basically ignored all weekend, so I felt the urge to ask what I'd done to them to cause this. And, in the end, I hadn't really done anything, but that wasn't the point. Lies flew and tempers flared, and I just walked away. It's not worth it to me. If a friend really wants to look at you and say those things, there's no point.
It's funny. In typing that, I realized that I'm getting perspective on an issue that I'm having in my life right now. Recently, a friend looked me right in the eye and lied to me. It wasn't the first time that she'd lied to me. Of course, she doesn't know that I know this, because I wouldn't dare say a word. But the more that I think about it, the more that I want to say something. Yet, at the same time, I'd be content to just avoid the whole situation. Regardless, it'll cause big issues and I'm not sure what to do.
I feel the same way regarding my home life these days, if you want to call it that. I know that I should be able to say something, but I also know that it will go horribly wrong if I do. In some ways, even though I pay the same rent as everyone else, I just don't feel like it's my place. And honestly, nothing's going to change or it would've changed by now. It's completely ridiculous, but I feel like it'd be easier to move -- even if I don't give 30-days notice -- rather than just say what's bothering me.
I wish that I could be better at confronting people. I wish I could say what was on my mind and tell people that they are hurting me, but in so many ways I just don't stand up for myself, especially not when my friends are concerned. I don't know why I put them first, probably because I'm a good friend, but I know I don't deserve to sit in a room and be completely ignored all for the sake of friendship. I know that I don't deserve to have to stay holed up in my room for days on end because I'm afraid of hurting someone else's feelings.
I just don't know how to change...
Limbo
(I found this post in my dashboard, and it never got published. I figured I'd post it now, so that people could see that this didn't have anything to do with Will, and it's been a very long time coming.)
I feel like my life is in limbo right now. I'm not sure what to do about it.
There are just some things that I'm not sure how to deal with right now.
I've been kinda-sorta looking for a new place to live, but nothing's really blown my skirt up. I should probably stand up for myself, but I get the feeling that's not acceptable where I live. So, I just stew and try to find something that might be a solution, all the while realizing that it's not the best time of year for me to be thinking about moving.
I found a place over the weekend. It'd be my own bathroom, which would be nice. There's just not enough room in our tiny bathroom for three people. It'd also be nice to live in an apartment where if the faucet started to drip or the tub clogged up, you just call the office and they send someone to fix it. That's one of the benefits of renting that I really miss these days.
Maybe it'd help to say something. Maybe I should just be a pussy and move without dealing with it. I don't know anymore, but something's got to give.
I'm also having an issue that's been kind of on-going, but it's nothing that I can't just put into the back of my mind because it happens so infrequently. You know the deal: You have a friend; you introduce that friend to one of your friends; they become friends; and then you get lost in the shuffle. I have this group of friends where this has happened. When they all gather in Nashville, which happens a few times a year, sometimes they invite me along and other times they tell me that they have no plans and then slip up and accidentally mention something from which I was excluded. Most of the time, though, I just sit there and am ignored while they have a grand old time. One time I went somewhere with them, and another of my friends pointed out that from the pictures and their commentary that she didn't even realize I was there. Yeah, imagine being the person who is there feeling that way. It blows.
Anyhow, I guess what I'm getting at is that it's just about time for all of them to gather here in Nashville for one of my best friend's birthdays. Now, I am pretty sure from all that I've mentioned that I know my place in the pecking order regarding friends. I've made my peace with that. When it's just the two of us, we have lots of great adventures here. When it's all of us, I am the gum stuck to the bottom of their shoes.
