Does anybody read these?

Saturday, December 30, 2006

I think I just might live!!!

My surgery was uneventful, and my purse wasn't even as frightened as I thought when I got my bill. I seem to be recovering nicely, but time should tell.

They put me under. That was great. I remember the dentist saying that he was from Indiana and used to go to King's Island and then next thing I knew I was in Walgreen's and the pharmacy assistant was getting my drugs. She said "Did you just have surgery? Bless your heart." Or something like that. She might've said something about My Little Ponies.

I hadn't eaten since last night, so when I woke up to a ringing phone around 8, I found some soft things to eat and then I took some meds. It's about time for more narcotics. Yay! The painkillers are making me woozy and I'm catching up on lost time, so I've probably had too much food. I don't feel terrible, though. That's good.

I might even be back to the Land of Misfit Toys by Sunday. I'm not sure if I have to work or not. The schedule wasn't up when I left last night.

Interesting drug-induced side note: Have you ever seen the South Park where Stan (I think it's Stan) tries to act out the "Say Anything" scene to get his girlfriend back? Except he plays some other Peter Gabriel song, not "In Your Eyes."

That reminded me that I haven't mentioned going Lloyd Dobler on anyone's ass lately... Let's call that Plan B.

Of course, Plan A seems to be sucking ass right now.

Friday, December 29, 2006

So, today's the day...

I'm a mess today. An absolute mess. I have to leave here in a little over an hour to go have my tooth surgery, and I'm a mess.

I know it's just a tooth. My mom keeps saying that it'll be less painful and traumatic than my getting my wisdom teeth removed. After all, there were three of them, and this is ONE tooth.

I beg to differ. My wisdom teeth were not fused to my jaw bone, and did not have to be cut off of it, with what I'm assuming will be a very sharp knife.

I also have the world's biggest fear of the dentist that you have ever seen. I am terrified of the dentist. Luckily I've had some really great dentists who deal the best they can, but that doesn't really make me want to cry any less. A few years ago, I had an awful root canal and somehow the dentist (who'd been warned of my dental fear) felt that it would be appropriate to scream at me for crying. He said I was scaring the other patients. (His screaming didn't help, I'm sure.) And to be fair, I did scream that day. But he did hit the nerve (which was not as dead as he thought, apparently) with the drill. You'd scream too; admit it. He hit the nerve. I screamed. He yelled. I cried. He yelled more. I cried more. It was the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

So, here I am, heading to the oral surgeon today. I'm scared to death. I'm scared about them cutting something out of my mouth. I'm scared about how long it'll take me to recuperate. I'm scared about not having a tooth for who-knows-how-long, and I'm scared of how I'm going to pay for all these shenanigans.

I keep trying to chicken out, but I can't because dental insurance sucks. So I have to get the tooth taken out on my 2006 insurance claim so that I can get my replacement (whatever that may be) on my 2007 claim. Apparently dental insurance has had the same benefits cap -- $1,000 -- since the 1970s. That'll cover half of this. God forbid I want to get my teeth cleaned anytime after all this.

I just want to cry. I'm grumpy because I haven't been able to eat since midnight last night. I just want a damn cup of coffee. I'm worried because I have to take my contacts out for the surgery and my glasses are broken. I never feel more vulnerable than when I can't see. Well, that and when I'm trapped in a dentist's chair. Yay, banner day!

Aside from venting about how scared I am about all this, I guess the purpose of this post was to let you all know that I'll check in when I can. I'll have free time, but I'm hoping to be hopped up on pain-killers, so I'll hardly be articulate. (That being said, if you see craziness here, just write it off to the drugs.)

So, I'll see you as soon as it's safe to write again. I'm sure I'll have plenty to bitch about.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Another smart quiz

I have a very bland, Midwestern accent. It's not fun Midwestern like Kay's South Dakota madness.

I do have some Southern phrases that have come into my vocabulary.

But nine times out of ten, I still call my Coke Zero pop and not coke. And soda? No way!

What American accent do you have?
Your Result: The Midland
 

"You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.

The West
 
Boston
 
North Central
 
The South
 
The Inland North
 
Philadelphia
 
The Northeast
 
What American accent do you have?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

The race is on!

So, we're playing again, and I forgot about the draft. So I'm using a computer-generated team.

I may never do my own draft picks again. I am winning, people. Winning! Look at this team. I got Fire Crotch! (That's Lindsay Lohan for those who don't read Perez Hilton.)

Great team. Points galore. I'm gonna win!

Two random thoughts

Just some random thoughts that crossed my brain this morning.

1. Lois Lane, Superman's girlfriend (or wife now, I guess), is a hard-hitting journalist who is Superman's intellectual equal. This is from her Wikipedia entry:

In most incarnations she has been depicted as a determined, strong-willed person, whether it involves beating her rival reporter Clark Kent to a story or (in what became a trademark of 1950s and 1960s era Superman stories) proving to others her suspicion that her fellow reporter Clark Kent was in reality Superman.

I thought that was very interesting. It just made me think.

2. If a sign says "A receipt is required for all exchanges and returns," why, oh why, would you think that means that you can come into a store and verbally abuse the employee who reiterates that you will not be getting store credit or a new Bratz doll without your receipt? You didn't want a Bratz doll anyway; they look like hookers. Maybe the store should've put up 20,000 signs about their return policy instead of 10,000. That might've helped.

And with all this, we still ended up with a doll on the shelves at the end of the night that we didn't carry. In fact, the writing on the package was in FRENCH.

A new quiz

I stole this from trying2hide. Recently I've started to take an interest in super heroes because a dear friend of mine is totally into all this stuff and he's told me all about it. I might have to see who he ends up with. Anyone want to venture a guess?

You Are Wonder Woman

A true goddess, you have the strength and skills to rule the world.
You're one sexy amazon... all of the superhero guys are fighting over you!
What Superhero Are You?

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Santa Claus?

I think I told you all that I thought my holiday spirit could be fleeting. And today it hit me like a ton of bricks. It wasn't really the Land of Misfit Toys; it wasn't terrible this evening. There was only one person who was mean to me all night. I can go home if I want to (and yes, I'm still debating that), so I'm not upset about that.

I think I just need to believe in Santa Claus this year.

Recently a friend of mine wrote a story about a Christmas Past that could only be chalked up to Santa Claus. (To see it, go here, and scroll down to December 11.) Trust me, in my typical Laura fashion, I grilled and analyzed and tried to figure out a way to contribute it to anything but Santa Claus. But Carter swears he didn't build it, as does his dad, so really there's no one left. And somebody ate the cookies!

I'm exhausted. I'm terrified about my tooth surgery, and I still haven't found someone to take me and pick me up from the dentist that day. I am not ready for Christmas in the slightest. I still have two gifts to buy. Nothing else is wrapped. I don't have any clean clothes to wear to Ohio, and I'm really not looking forward to the whirlwind trip. I'm not positive that I want to go, but I don't really want to miss my family either.

And, to top it all off, this holiday season I have something that's nagging at me. Big time. And I just don't know what to do about it.

All I want to do is bury my head in the sand and nap. I'm tired. I'm frustrated.

That's where Santa Claus comes in. You see, there's this one Christmas gift that only he knows about. Because, really, I don't know anyone else who could bring it to me.

So, I'm putting my bets on Ol' Saint Nick this year. I'm really hoping he'll deliver.

I'll just be curious to see how he gets my gift down the chimney.

How about all of you? Anyone out there still believe in Santa Claus or am I being the silliest grown-up ever?

Friday, December 22, 2006

Well, at least someone gets it

Even if it is a computer-generated quiz. (Guess that's a someTHING and not a someone.)

So, I still look for the other half of my cute couple...

What kind of couple are you best in?
Cute Couple

You really are meant for one another. You mesh perfectly and no matter who you are paired with you always make their day a little brighter and heavenly simpler. You know how to date and you know what your companion wants out of teh relationship. You are willing to compromise and don't make gross scenes in public places. Keep the love going. :oD

Take this test

Not too shabby

Testriffic IQ test

Did you ever?

Did you ever have something in your head, and when you went to put it down on paper or say it aloud, it just came out all wrong?

I'm sure you have.

I have the makings of a great blog post in my head. It seems great in my brain.

And every time I sit down here to write it, it ends up being way too personal, and I scrap it. And considering how personal some of my writing has been lately, I think that tells you that it's pretty damn personal.

I saved a draft this time. It'll get written. And really, honestly, I don't think it's anything that folks don't already know.

There's just something about writing it all out, committing to it in a public forum, that makes it a little scary.

And you should all know that really, deep down, I'm not a huge fan of putting myself on the line.

When Happy Hour never ends...

You all probably have noticed by now that my friend Ashley and I meet once a week to go out to dinner and see what other trouble we can get into. Generally we do this downtown. We shoot for Thursday nights because it's Shepherd's Pie night at Market Street. We love Shepherd's Pie.

I didn't get lunch today, so I was starving by the time 5:30 rolled around. Except it was closer to 6 p.m. because we stopped to buy Pralines and Caramels at Leon's, the world-famous candy shop. I got a tin of goodies for a Christmas gift and a free Jack Daniel's praline. We also met the owner, Leon, and his lovely wife. Great place. If you're a fan of Southern candy, check out their Web site.

After dinner we did a little more shopping, and then swung by Crossroads to see my friend Jewels sing. We tried to catch her a few Thursdays ago, and she wasn't singing that night. She was tonight. This is the first time I saw her live, and it was a blast.

We had just planned to make an appearance and then leave. Until we realized that one of my new favorite artists, Jason Michael Carroll, was sitting there in the bar watching Jewels' set. She asked him if he'd stay and sing, so needless to say, we were staying to hear him sing, especially my current favorite song, "Alyssa Lies."

Ashley and I went over and talked to Jason. He remembered me from the concert we saw for Kay's birthday, and we just had a lot of fun hanging out with him. He's a great guy, and I think he's going to go really far in this town.

We went over to Legends, but Bobby wasn't there so I wished Desi a Merry Christmas, and we headed home for the evening. It had been more than four hours since we met up to grab a bite to eat and a drink or two.

That's just one more thing I love about Nashville. You never know who you might run into while you're out and about. But, this also means that you sometimes get home from Happy Hour after everyone in your house has gone to sleep.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

I'm really not that funny...

I feel like you all probably think I'm a lame writer lately, so when I saw this quiz, I had to take it.

You Should Be a Joke Writer

You're totally hilarious, and you can find the humor in any situation.
Whether you're spouting off zingers, comebacks, or jokes about life...
You usually can keep a crowd laughing, and you have plenty of material.
You have the makings of a great comedian - or comedic writer.
What Type of Writer Should You Be?

Christmas Quiz Time!

You Are a Tree
You love every part of the holidays, down to the candy canes and stockings. And you're goofy enough to put a Christmas tree ornament on your tree!
WhatChristmas Ornament Are You?


Your Christmas Song Is

All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth

Gee, if I could only
Have my two front teeth,
Then I could wish you
"Merry Christmas."

At Christmas, you are a happy soul who's easy to please.
You're biggest concern is making those around you smile.
What Christmas Carol Are You?


Your Christmas is Most Like: A Very Brady Christmas

For you, it's all about sharing times with family.
Even if you all get a bit cheesy at times.
What Movie Is Your Christmas Most Like?

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Girlie phone

Last week, I ran over to the T-mobile store to pay my bill. Just recently I was lamenting that while I love my Motorola v330, it's starting to have some problems like not charging correctly. It's a pain in the ass to grab your phone after it's been charging all night to see one bar of battery life. However, I had no intentions of replacing my phone anytime soon unless T-mobile gave me a good deal (read: free) on a new phone. That's how I got the v330 in the first place. Because I've been a customer as long as there's been a T-mobile (longer, actually...) they generally upgrade my phone anytime my contract is up, and it was set to expire December 27.

Well, when I went in to pay my bill, I started talking to the girl working at the store and the next thing I know, she mentions that it's customer appreciation week, and for the first time ever, T-mobile is giving a better deal on phones to existing customers than to new ones. There was a Samsung I could get for free, or I could get a shiny, new Motorola Razr for $30. The Razr came in magenta or the ugliest shade of gray I've ever seen. Black cost extra. (Your guess is as good as mine on that.) So, even though I am not a girlie-girl at all, I now have a very girlie phone.

But it's an awesome phone. Aside from the fact that it's bright pink, I love this phone. It's made out of aluminum, and it's light (although it shows marks like a bitch). The screen is big and colorful and it takes great pictures. You can barely tell the difference when you use speakerphone. And, best of all, it has an awesome antenna, and I finally get service in my entire house!

The only downside that I can find so far is that if I want to assign someone their own ring tone, I have to save them to my phone instead of my SIM card. So when I change phones the next time, that'll be a huge pain in the ass.

It also looks a little dainty, and I worry that I'm going to hurt it at some point. I'm not exactly good with fragile things. I am not sure how many times I dropped my phone last Monday, and I still haven't found my ring...

I just wish the damn thing wasn't pink, but apparently everyone needs to be a little girlie once in a while.

Let's lighten things up around here...

Borrowed (or tagged, maybe?) from Andrea ...

Five Christmas things:

1. Five Christmas songs you like:
1. All I want for Christmas is you - Mariah Carey
2. Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy - David Bowie and Bing Crosby
3. Suzy Snowflake - Rosemary Clooney
4. Mary, did you know? (Anyone's version is great!)
5. All I want for Christmas is a real good tan - Kenny Chesney

2. Five things on your Christmas list:
1. Something from Longaberger
2. Fresh citrus fruit shipped from Florida (thanks, Lance and Estela!)
3. Cash would be nice
4. iTunes are always on my Christmas list!
5. One thing that's just between me and Santa ... (you get an "A" for trying, though!)

3. Five foods/drinks you enjoy at Christmas:
1. Candy cane pie (If I can find it; Baker's Square makes a great one!)
2. Hot cocoa
3. Honey-baked Ham
4. Pierogi and sauerkraut
5. Home-made caramels (and no, I'm not making them this year. My candy thermometer is still in storage.)

4. Five people you've bought presents for:
1. Lance
2. Gary
3. Mom
4. the family we adopted for Christmas
5. Toys for Tots
(Yes, I still have shopping to do. I have no idea what I'm getting Dad or Luke. And I guess I should get Estela a gift since the Garth Brooks DVD set is really only for Lance.)

5. Five people you sent Christmas cards to: (Let's pretend they are sent...)
1. Everyone on the KennyForums card exchange list.
2. Helen
3. Virginia
4. My family
5. My college roommate

6. Five people you've received Christmas cards from:
1. Andrea
2. Patti
3. Erin
4. Krista, Randy & Molly
5. My friend Julie

7. Five ornaments on your Christmas tree:
My tree and all its decorations are in storage, but my roommate has a tree. If mine were here, it'd have:
1. the very first ornament that I ever got, which ironically was an angel with my name on it
2. an ornament my aunt made for me with my baby picture (pushing it with my all-angel tree, I know...)
3. A ceramic angel that Luke made in the 3rd grade
4. My angel ornament from Macy's that one of my friends bought me on a shopping trip
5. My Hallmark angels

8. Five favorite Christmas traditions:
1. Going to midnight mass together
2. The Eve of Christmas Eve party
3. Watching dad's old family movies
4. Seeing what creative way dad gives us money (like the year he bought rolls of dollars so they looked like batteries and wrapped them)
5. Going to Zanesville to look at Christmas lights (when we were younger we would do all our Christmas shopping at the Mall there on Christmas Eve, too.)

9. Five favorite Christmas decorations:
1. All of my gingerbread stuff.
2. My Longaberger christmas baskets
3. All of my mom's nutcrackers
4. The "Griswolds'" house in Trimble
5. My crystal nativity

Monday, December 18, 2006

The skinny of it all...

This is probably the most truth you'll ever read here. Last night, continuing in to this morning, I had a moment of realization, and I felt the urge to write about it. There are a lot of things that run through my brain that all of you are never privy to, for one reason or another. But this is bothering me, and I think it'll help me to talk about it, and frankly y'all are just reading my diary anyhow. What did you really expect?

I think I've mentioned in the past that I have an eating disorder. First of all, I want to give a little background on that. To clarify, the only time I've ever used the word anorexia here is when talking about someone else (Nicole Richie comes to mind). Because I am not anorexic. Anyone who read what I said here and assumed that was the eating disorder I had is very ignorant to the types of eating disorders. And frankly, those of you who personally know me would be quite stupid to assume that. Not to say that they're aren't overweight recovering anorexics; I'm sure there are. I have just never had trouble with not eating. (Actually, that's not true, but that's also a whole 'nother therapy session.)

For many years, I've had what's called compulsive overeating disorder. I'm not going to get in to all the specifics of the disease, but I will give you the Reader's Digest version, because that will help you understand where I'm coming from and the big hurdles I have to overcome now. I don't want anyone to feel like they were responsible for my illness because I had a lot of factors that contributed to it. My genetic disposition to addictive behaviors was definitely part of it. I come from a family with a history of alcoholism and other compulsions, so the wiring for some type of mental disorder was there. When I was growing up, I was exposed to a relative who hid food. I'm not sure if she has COE or not. I think she mostly did it because she didn't want to share. However, it got in my brain that was acceptable behavior. I was born with a physical disability and I wasn't particularly mobile until grade school, so that didn't help either. I excelled academically, but I wasn't very physically active, so I was always chubby growing up.

And then, there's always a trigger. And this is the part I'm pretty sure that no one here knows about.

I was still the chubby kid when I hit puberty, and I went from being the chubby kid to a teenager in a woman's body. Then I decided to pretty much starve myself in my early teenage years. Even though I looked more grown-up than anyone else my age, I had slimmed down to the point where I looked curvy and pretty good. I wasn't ever going to be tiny, but that's OK. Curves are not a bad thing.

So, I attracted the attention of boys. It wasn't all bad, but it definitely wasn't all good, either. To make a very long, sordid story short, I probably attracted a little too much attention and things happened that probably shouldn't have. Things really got blown out of proportion and I felt helpless.

I did the only thing that I really knew how to do. I ate. At first, I ate because I have a compulsion to eat. I'm addicted to food. But then I realized that the more I ate, the fatter I became and the less attention that I got from men. So, I buried myself in a layer of fat. I lived like that for many years, completely content with being overweight and being alone.

Because of that, I pursue relationships bass-ackwards, so to speak. I generally fall head over heels for male friends who think of me as one of the guys. I'm not ever going to just pursue someone with the explicit purpose of dating them ever again, because I know how that turned out last time. And, of course, even when I do like a guy and send off those signals, he misses it, because I'm the girl you drink a Miller Lite and watch college football with.

You see, as long as I'm fat, in my mind I'm unattractive to guys. I'm not sure if that's true or not. One of my friends is very good at reminding me that perhaps my self-esteem being in the toilet does not help me be attractive to men, because self-confidence is sexy. I've also been told I give off a vibe of being unapproachable to men. Most nights when I'm out with my friends (Kay and Alexis will vouch for me.) I don't feel unapproachable, although it's not exactly my caliber of men who are approaching me.

I still hide under the fat. A few years ago, I started to lose weight for medical reasons. I was killing myself being fat, and I knew it. I finally wanted to not look like a beach ball with hair, so I started to lose weight. And I did well. Because when you have an addictive personality, you can switch from being addicted to White Castle and Hershey's bars to being addicted to water and power bars and the treadmill. I just took all my OCD behavior and put it toward getting fit, and I kicked ass at weight loss. I went to the gym every day for at least an hour and watched my calories religiously, and I lost about 60 pounds. According to my personal trainer, I wasn't too far from my goal.

And then the compliments started coming in. People started telling me I was attractive. Guys started hitting on me. And I started to put the weight back on, little by little. I've gained back about 30 pounds, but I feel like it was 130. I feel unbelievably fat and unattractive.

Which is where I was last night. I was in bed about to drift off to sleep, lamenting the fact that I am perpetually single when it hit me like a ton of bricks. Did I really think that anyone else wanted to be in bed with me? Because seriously, it's not pretty when my clothes are on, but when they're off, it's awful. And I know it, and part of me wants to work really hard and lose the weight, but part of me is terrified. There are millions of people much more obese than I am, but that doesn't matter to me. I hate being fat.

Of course, I know that part of this is precipitated by the fact that I am very much in like with someone right now. And every time I really like someone I get this way. You see, I don't want a stranger to notice my body, but once I trust a guy then I feel the urge to lose weight to be more attractive to him. But you see where this is going ... I lose the weight because I like a guy, then he thinks that I'm just one of the guys and moves on to someone that he'd rather date, and then I gain it all back again. This has happened time and time again. So, why do I do it?

Because if I trust a guy and want to be with him, I can take off the fat wall. It's just too bad that it'll take months, if not years, to get the fat wall off. And when you like someone, you don't always have that kind of time. No one wants to be single, including the guy you like, and while you're trying really hard (OK, Christmas cookies, maybe not really hard) to lose weight, he's off trying to figure out whom he'd like to go out with. And, of course, because I'm terrified of rejection and know he couldn't possibly like me because I'm fat, I'm not going to say anything, even if it means losing something that could be really great.

In my brain, it all has to do with being fat. Even though I hate it now, that was my original plan: to bury all my emotions and relationships under being fat, to put up a big wall to protect myself. It could be millions of other things. It could be the age difference or the fact that I can't stand Rush Limbaugh and think that any couple should be allowed to get married, regardless of sexual orientation. I drink like a fish, and he doesn't see the point. There are other things too, but I'm not sure exactly how much I should say here. But even with all the differences, we're pretty similar in our beliefs, our devotion to family and values.

All I can hear, see or think is that it has to do with me being fat, regardless of what reality might be. (And not like I'll find out anyway, because that'd require me to actually try to pursue a relationship with someone and I suck at that. I am no good at putting myself on the line. At all.)

So, here I am, another Monday morning. I have my water and I just had some cheese and crackers someone brought in for breakfast. I don't have time to work out today, but it's on my schedule for tomorrow. Because today I want to get obsessed again, and get out from under this monster I've created. Part of me wants to tell him to wait for me if he can't stand the thought of being with me now. And I know that might not be the case, but in my mind it is. It always is.

I have no idea what to do. I have no idea where to start. I have no idea how the story will end, nor do I know where it begins. All I know is that I've never wanted something so much before in my life. I don't know if that's being thin, being happy or seeing someone's smiling face every morning when I wake up, but I suspect it's a combination of all three.

And yes, I know that being thin would not cure all my problems. I know that it's not a magical cure-all, but this wall that I put up between people has to go, and I really need to stop taking all my fears, anger and frustrations out on myself.

I guess I'm just hoping that maybe someone here has some advice for me. Or maybe just getting it out in the open will help. Because something's got to give.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Ha! So there!

I am nerdier than 28% of all people. Are you nerdier? Click here to find out!

Thursday, December 14, 2006

You never know who's listening ...

I wanted to share an interesting story from work last night. I am glad that I saw the humor in it, because I probably should've been really pissed.

I rushed off to the Land of Misfit Toys only to find out that I was training the new guy in electronics last night. I've been over there a lot lately, and I've been training all the new people. I don't mind though; I'd rather do it than have them not learn what they need to know.

Anyhow, I think I've mentioned to all of you that the Land of Misfit Toys does not have any Nintendo Wii game systems. Please don't call. Please don't wait outside in line. We don't have any. Sorry. Sometimes we do have them, but most likely by the time you get there they will be gone. It is not a conspiracy; it is called supply and demand.

So, it's just another night at the Land of Misfit Toys. The new guy is a hoot, and we're having a blast.

This nice family comes in. Now, I don't know if I've ever told you all this before, but Nashville has a large Hispanic community, so very often we have shoppers in the store who speak very little English. Well, after 8 years of Spanish classes and spending quality time with my sister-in-law-to-be, Senorita Benitez, I can do well enough to understand them and speak a little bit. The other day I said Happy Birthday in Spanish to a little boy named Javier who stopped in to get his birthday balloon.

So, this nice family comes in and only the husband speaks English, and he's not very good at it. I am listening to him in Spanish and doing my best to make him understand my English. His son wants a Nintendo Wii for Christmas.

I tell him we don't have any in English. He points at a GameBoy Advance, which is apparently his plan B. We're out of those too. So, I'm telling him that I don't know when we'll get more (which is true) and giving him some pointers on getting one of these Christmas gifts. I was being very helpful, and I was as knowledgeable as any other person in the store.

The wife asks him in Spanish what's going on and if we have what they are looking for. He answers her in Spanish. She asked him when we'd be getting more Wiis.

He says to her: "No sabe," which translates to "She doesn't know."
She asked him something else, which I can't remember right now. And he gets very snotty and says "No sabe nada." That means "She (meaning me) doesn't know anything."

I got the vibe that he thought I was stupid. He definitely sounded patronizing.

Apparently he was counting on me not knowing Spanish. But I did know Spanish, and I was a little pissed.

I thought for a second about what to do.

So, I looked at them very sincerely and said in English "I'm sorry." And then I said the same phrase again in Spanish, "Lo siento."

I'm pretty sure all the oxygen left the room at that point.

So, just remember: Just because you're speaking in a foreign language doesn't mean that the person you're talking about doesn't understand.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Well, this was clever...

Remember my post at Easter time about my Cadbury Mini-egg addiction?

Well, I went to Walgreens today, and they're back! The fine folks at Cadbury have made them shaped like Christmas balls in white, red and green, but it's still the same candy. Of course, I bought a bag of them. I will probably buy a bag of them every day until Christmas. And it's not the snack-size bag. It's a half-pound.

If they find a way to make Cadbury Creme Eggs for other holidays, I am a goner. Between these, Snickers nutcrackers, Reese's peanut butter trees and those wreaths made out of chocolate and coconut, I'm pretty sure I won't be able to fit in my clothes by Christmas. And since everything's been loose lately, that'd be sad.

I did buy a polycarb water bottle for my office. That's a step in the right direction.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Best of 2006

I did this on MySpace, but wanted to post it here, too.

1) Drinking Buddy of The Year?
I think that honor has to go to Miss Kay. I don't even know how to tell you what qualifies her for this award. Holding my purse while I used the porta-john (18000 times) in Indianapolis gets her huge points. Oh and listening to me practice saying "I wasn't sure if you had my number, so here it is. Call me so we can go out," 986 times was nice of her too.

2) Lifetime service award - Longest friend?
Krista

3) High Points of the year?
Moving, my job, fan fair, meeting my great roommates, my new Tennessee friends

4) Low point of the year?
It got really scary this fall before I got my job.

5) Best holiday?
None of them have been great so far; it's hard being away from home. Thanksgiving was fun.

6) Anthem for 2oo6?
My Next Thirty Years - Phil Vassar

7) Any regrets?
I have one, but I'm working on fixing it... Oh, and maybe I should've very publicly called the crazies out when they attacked me. But I dig the high road.

8) Best Night out?
I have a tie between the night that Toma, Gretchen, Rosalie and I went to Spaghetti Warehouse in Dayton and November 21.

9) Worst Night out?
Luckily I'm not remembering it right now.

10) Who did you spend your valentines with?
The people at the flower shop where I worked that day.

11) Best relationship?
I'm not sure I've had it yet.

12) Worst relationship?
I don't say his name out loud.

13) First Concert of the year?
Eric Dove and Jason Aldean in March

14) Last Concert of the year?
I went to Eric Church and Bob Seger Saturday, but I may not be done. Lari White's at 12th and Porter next weekend.

15) Best Concert of the year?
I have been to so many great concerts, but I'm pretty damn sure that the Seger concert Saturday was the best concert EVER.

16) Longest road trip of the year?
Which is further from Nashville -- Detroit or Chicago?

17) Have you changed a lot in the last year?
Yep, and it's for the better.

18) Fav clothing item you bought?
I have these really awesome dark blue jeans, and I'm pretty sure when I wear them boys look at my ass.

19) What is the most significant thing you learned in 2006?
That sometimes you just have to grow a pair and make your dreams happen even if it's scary as hell.

20) Resolution for next year?
I HAVE to lose weight so I don't look like a total moo at my brother's wedding.

21) Best hook up of the year?
I don't really hook up. (Kay, I hear you snickering.)

22) CD of the year?
Haggard sings Jones, Jones sings Haggard: Kickin' Out the Footlights Again

23) Favorite drink of the year?
Honkytonk Lemonades

24) Favorite artist you rediscovered this year?
Merle Haggard

25) Favorite artist you discovered this year?
OMG, I have so many new artists that I love living in this town. Here is my short list (in no particular order): Sarah Buxton, Eric Church, Jason Michael Carroll, Lady Antebellum, Chris, all my Nashville star friends - Chris Young, Jewels, Marcy, Josh, Mike. Love you all!!!! Oh yeah, and local legend Bobby Davis. ;-)

25) Best vacation this year?
I went to Lynchburg

26) Did you have a memorable birthday?
My friend Alexis threw one helluva surprise party for me. And my "boyfriend" got the best band to play!

27) Best advice giver of the year?
Everyone has given me awesome advice this year, but I think that'd be Amy, Lynn and Carter.

28) Overall best thing about 2006?
Moving to Nashville

Monday, December 11, 2006

I still have holiday spirit!

Surprisingly, my holiday spirit is not completely eroded. Even though I did watch a lady in her 30s push a lady in her 60s out of her way because she felt she was entitled to check out first. At least the older lady was able to laugh after she'd left the store. It's Christmas. It's a toy store. You're going to wait in line. Sorry. I think tomorrow night I'll watch Christmas with the Kranks.

I wonder if my family will hang my stocking up on the mantle without me. Or maybe I'll talk to Joanne tomorrow about the possibility of working my schedule to go home for Christmas. If I worked early on Christmas Eve and then worked late on the 26th, I could probably do it...

Anyhow, my latest Christmas quiz, which I stole from Andrea.

Your Christmas Stocking Will Be Filled With Little Wrapped Presents

You've made Santa a very happy fellow this year.
Don't worry - what happens at the North Pole stays at the North Pole!
What Will Be In Your Christmas Stocking?

A couple of random thoughts...

First of all, I'm on major deadlines at work this week. I have a press release, a newsletter article and a magazine article to get done by Friday, plus I'm finishing up a brochure. I also believe I have some copy to write for our conference brochure because my logo design won!!! I was so excited. My theme idea was one that our Executive Director had pooh-poohed in the past, but I thought it was perfect for the event. So I went and found this great graphic and whipped out some exciting fonts, and voila, he picked my design! He even made a comment about "Didn't we do this theme before?" and they told him that it hadn't ever made the final cut before.

Sometime soon (in between cleaning my room, taking the picture for my Christmas card and writing my Christmas letter), I will tell you all about the Bob Seger show. To sum it up in one word: Amazing. And I was closer to Driver than I was Eric. Woo-hoo!

I wanted to tell y'all that you're doing great on my "How Well Do You Know Me?" quiz. I put a trick question in there, and it was kind of a two-pointer, and I think it got most of you. I do love my Colts, but football's really not cold enough for me. (Does that help?!?) But Jesse Jackson? Nahhhh. No one guessed Jeb Bush though. I'm proud of y'all. Too many of you think that I went to that school in Columbus where the 60,000 assholes go. That's precisely why I hate that institution of "higher learning!"

Speaking of college, I'm still working on finding someone to go to Mobile with me. I'm resorting to bribery. I just don't think I can make the trip by myself, but I think I'm the only OU grad here in the Southland. I asked Ashley and she laughed at me. Maybe that's my paybacks for hating Ohio State?!?

I want to do a retroactive song of the day. On Friday while I was out driving, I heard "Happy Christmas (War is Over)" by John Lennon. Of course, Friday was the 26th anniversary of John Lennon's death. So, I was more moved than usual by that song. However, I've been swamped at the Land of Misfit Toys this weekend, so this was the first time I could mention it.

I'll check in when I can. Hope all my loyal readers have a good week!

Six weird things about me...

So, I kinda-sorta got tagged. I was over at a friend's blog, and he said if we wanted to we could, but we didn't have to. Since I was getting ready to write about some of this stuff anyhow, I figured that I'd just tie it all together.

Six Weird Things About Me.

1. I have a few favorite foods that I love, and I am constantly on the lookout for the best version of these foods. These foods are: carrot cake, coleslaw and Reuben sandwiches. I am pretty sure I had the best carrot cake ever at work the other day. (The layer of cream cheese icing -- which had nuts -- was as thick as the cake. Wow!) The best coleslaw I've had comes from J. Alexander's. Normally O'Charley's is good, but when I had it a few weeks ago, it was subpar. Ironically, when I make coleslaw, I use the bagged sliced veggies and a jar of Marzetti original coleslaw dressing. I'm still on the quest for the perfect Reuben, and the best I've found so far are at Market Street down on 2nd Ave and at Deli Unique back in Detroit.

2. Before I got my fancy-schmancy overnight contact lenses, I wore my glasses to sleep every night. My vision is very bad, so if I didn't wear my glasses when I slept I couldn't find them in the morning. My eye doctor decided that wasn't safe if I would have a fire or other emergency, so he put me in 24-hour contacts. Even when I need to rest my eyes, I do it one at a time. So, I don't even have a pair of glasses right now. During allergy season (like this week), I kind of hate that. Well, that and when cute boys tell me they have a thing for girls with glasses -- I'm helpless!

3. I am currently writing a novel. Fiction writing is not my bag at all, but I have a book that I started almost a year ago. I haven't written much since I got a "real" job as a writer, but it's a work in progress. I hope this week to get a few more chapters out to the folks who are reading it right now, and I plan to dive back into it after the holidays. Oh, and it's dirty, which is really why I think it's weird. I hate romance novels, yet I'm writing one. Bizarre.

4. I am obsessed with good grammar and spelling. I guess I should be. I'm a journalist. I write to put food on my table. However, I am more of a nut about it than most people I know (including other writers). When the online dating craze came on the scene, a friend of mine told me I should try it out. I went online and looked at the abhorrent spelling and language usage in the profiles, and I totally gave up. Even if you are super hot and you can't spell, I can't ever read your e-mails and texts, so we're doomed anyhow. I also never use those crazy abbreviations in texts (Think "ur" instead of "your." Yikes.). I spell everything out. Is that its own weird thing?!?

5. I can only swim in water where I can see the bottom. I'm not Mark Spitz, but I can swim in a pool. Throw me in a lake, and I'd probably drown. If the water is muddy and I can't see the bottom, I can't swim. I will only get in lakes and oceans if I can touch the bottom. I do not get in rivers or creeks unless absolutely necessary. I think this all stems from the fact that I almost drowned when I was eight years old when my cousins and I snuck to the swimming hole.

6. I have 41 first cousins on my father's side, and only three (if you count my two step cousins) on my mom's side. My dad had 11 brothers and sisters, and many of them have big families. My oldest cousin, Donna, is my mom's age, and my youngest, Angelina, is three years old. (There's about a 25-year gap between my dad's oldest brother and his youngest brother.)

OK, those are some weird things that y'all probably didn't know. I guess I should tag some other people, but I'm going to follow Myke's lead and say if you want to, you can, but you don't have to do this.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

High School Spanish

I am not sure which ones I got wrong. They all seemed easy. I'll have to brush up before la boda en Junio!

You Passed 8th Grade Spanish

Congratulations, you got 6/8 correct!
Could You Pass 8th Grade Spanish?

Ten Albums I Can't Live Without

So, one of my friends told me about a contest that Dierks Bentley is having on his web site. You submit a list of the Top 10 CDs you CANNOT live without, and they enter you in a contest to win a guitar and some other good things.

I don't really need the prizes, but it did make me think. If I submit my entry, these will be my answers:

1. The Essential Billy Joel
2. Garth Brooks - The Hits
3. Bob Marley - Legend
4. The Beatles Love Songs
5. Bob Seger - Live Bullet
6. Alabama - 41 Number One Hits
7. George Strait - Fifty Number Ones
8. Madonna's Immaculate Collection
9. Jimmy Buffet - Songs You Know By Heart
10. Jones Sings Haggard, Haggard Sings Jones: Kickin' Out the Footlights Again

Kid Rock's "Kid Rock" CD gets an honorable mention. I am pretty sure I'd try to sneak it on the desert island, too.

What's your Top 10 CDs? If I took away your CD collection, what would you beg me to let you keep? Post your answers in my comment or let me know if you blog about it yourself!

Friday, December 08, 2006

Seriously, who makes this stuff up?

I decided to do this quiz because folks are always saying that I don't act like the old lady I feel like most days.

I just answered truthfully, and this is what I got. Someone's so smart, and it's not me!

You Are 25 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.
What Age Do You Act?

Quiz time!

Your Love Life Secrets Are
Looking back on your life, you will have a few true loves.
You're a little scarred from your past relationships, but who isn't?
You prefer a quirky, unique person to be your lover. You're easy going about who you're with, as long as they love you back.
In fights, you speak your mind and don't hold back. You know you're right, and you can get quite angry about it.
Getting over a break-up doesn't take long. Easy come, easy go.
Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed

If you love me ...

... you'll go do this.

How well do you know me? Quiz.

It's probably way too hard, but if you read this blog everyday, I bet you'll do surprisingly well.

Let me know if it sucks, and I'll change it!

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Memory lane...

It's freezing today, so I wanted to take a trip down memory lane.

Picture it: Noblesville, Indiana. Labor Day Weekend 2006.

I am not 100% sure, but I am pretty sure my drink count was this:
1/4 bottle raspberry rum
1/4 bottle coconut rum
1/2 bottle champagne
Solo cup of Hot Damn!
and 1 Yingling Light beer.

(Or at least before I got in the arena and visited the Cruzan booth. Twice.)

Yeppers, they don't call it liquid courage for nothing. It's a miracle that I didn't get kicked out that night.

I know some of you have heard I'm a raging alcoholic, but honestly I don't normally drink like that. I didn't even have a Miller Lite the day before. I was just very nervous and drinking helped. Plus, it was the last hurrah of summer!

(Speaking of being nervous and binge drinking, I'm thinking maybe I need to find a bottle, grow some balls and send an e-mail very soon. I'll keep you posted.)

Lastly, I thought I would post a picture. Anyone know has seen Kenny's tour DVDs remembers his little "We are in the sheds" megaphone bit. Now who would I be if I didn't attempt to recreate that at my first (and his last) shed of the year. Luckily, Mr. Hot-ass Security Guard let me do that.

I don't think he turned it on, but then again, I'm lucky I remembered my name at that point.

Ha! I've fooled Santa!

You Were Nice This Year!

You're an uber-perfect person who is on the top of Santa's list.
You probably didn't even *think* any naughty thoughts this year.
Unless you're a Mormon, you've probably been a little too good.
Is that extra candy cane worth being a sweetheart for 365 days straight?
Were You Naughty or Nice This Year?

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Night Moves

Just a quick post to let y'all know that I'm so excited I could scream and/or puke.

Why?

Doesn't the title of this post clue you in?

Really? You still don't know why?

I have front effing row to Bob effing Seger on Saturday.

That's right, bitches. I'm ready for some Old Time Rock & Roll. Being a Detroiter, Seger has a very special place in my heart. And at home in Motown, it's harder than a bitch to get his tickets so I never in one million years thought I'd be going, much less be sitting in the front row. Luckily, this is what happens when Ticketmaster has an auction for a show at the last minute and no one pays attention because it's already sold out. Yay, for us. We're only paying $40 more than face value! For front row. Section 1, Row A. No shit.

Thank you for letting me gloat (not like you had a choice. It's MY blog. All about me, me and me!). I'll give you the full report as soon as I recuperate.

Oh, and Eric Church is opening for him, which means I'm going to be close to Driver too! Woohoo!!!

PMS?

I've been really grumpy lately, grumpier than I ever expected. Judging from the massive amounts of junk food I've been eating, I'd say it's part PMS and part missing someone. I know that the days that I've talked to him I've been in a much better mood, and I don't find that to be coincidental. I just never really thought it'd be this hard for him to go home. I knew I'd miss him, but I didn't think it'd be quite this bad. One of my friends had suggested jokingly that perhaps I shouldn't have gotten attached, but it was inevitible.

I finally figured out how to add ringtones for people on my phone, so I'm having fun with that. I'm sure it'll be time to get a new phone soon enough.

I'm going to go to sleep soon. Tomorrow I have to go to the dentist to see what we can do about my tooth.

Still looking for someone to go to my bowl game with me. I know I want to go, but I really don't want to go all by myself...